Oy vey. It is all Hitler’s fault.
Before the big war, the goyim knew pretty well how fishy we could be with money. But because of this mishuggah anti-Semite Hitler, they became convinced that the defeat of the Nazis was also a declaration of our innocence.
Oi ever, it was not only the stupid goyim who gave their gelt to Bernie Madoff. Everyone thought he was a heymishe Jewish guy. Even Steven’le Shpielberg and Elie Wiesel handed over all their shekels to this Yiddisher ganef, and now they’re wondering where the next bowl of chicken soup is coming from.
Last Passover I told that old alta kocker, “Bernie’le, why don’t you learn from Mony’le? Do it in small steps, one chicken here, a credit card there. 50 billion is just a bit too much in one helping.”
I tell you, I feel it in my kishkas. Even my dog Ponzi is looking nervous. For so long we have managed to effectively silence the goyim with this political correctness, but I always knew that eventually they would come for us. I am so worried.
I really hope Bernard’le left some money under the floorboards so that he can at least pay back Shpielberg to cover the costs of his new Swindler’s List production.
He may even call it “Madoff’s List”.
United against a new Shoah
Alta Kocker – an old shit or an old fart.
Gelt – gold, money. Hanukkah gelt are the chocolate gold-foiled coins traditionally given at the holiday.
Gonif (gon-niff) – thief, dishonest person, embezzler, unscrupulous businessman.
Haymishe – warm, homey, friendly.
Kishka – guts, intestines. “I was so upset, I was eating my kishkas out!” “Some secret agent! After 10 minutes of questioning, he spilled his kishkas!”
Mishuggah (mish-shug-uh) – crazy, nuts, loony-tunes.
Auntie Ziona Against Auntie Simone 