Auntie Ziona Against Auntie Simone

December 20, 2008

Ode to Madoff: I am a Loo

Filed under: Jewish, Loo, Madoff, philanthropy, Ponzi scheme, sewer, toilet — auntieziona @ 9:06 pm

Oy gevalt, the words “Jewish philanthropy” will never have quite the same ring to them, somehow.

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November 15, 2008

Oxford Students in ‘Bring a Jew’ Party Row

Are they anti-Semite bigots or are they for real?

Some people from Goldsmith College say they like to interpret texts, but in Blooms and WIZO we prefer to just interrupt them!

An article from the Guardian, November 15

Oxford University is investigating after students allegedly held a party at which they were told to arrive dressed as Orthodox Jews carrying bags of money (as if they were Labour friends of Israel). Students in the under-21 rugby squad are said to have attached pretend side locks to their heads at the “bring a fit Jew party”. If they called it “bring a hypochondriac Jew party” they probably would have had more people. Side locks are worn by Orthodox Jewish men. The party, at a curry house on Wednesday (I hope it was a kosher curry house with gefilthe fish Marsala), has been condemned by the Jewish community as “at best insensitive and ignorant: at worst blatantly antisemitic”.

The Community Security Trust, which deals with antisemitic attacks together with the police on behalf of the Jewish community, said the party would make Jewish students feel “isolated and vulnerable”, instead of chosen & superior? A spokesman for the Union of Jewish Students in the UK said: “The actions of a few students have caused real offense. We are appalled that in 2008 old myths like Lord “cash Machine” Levi & that nice proxy master, Mr Abrahams and antisemitic stereotypes are still appearing among supposedly educated students.” Indeed he is correct. If they want a real Jewish progressive education they should have gone to Brighton Polytechnic.

The captain of the under-21 team, Phil Boon, said he “didn’t see what the problem was”. He said Jewish girls had accepted invites to the party. “I can understand why it might have offended some people, but it would have been an awesome social.” If he had been just slightly more circumcised and with the appropriate blood. Boon refused to comment further. But with goyim pretending to be Jews, how were the real Jewish girls supposed to know who had had their swantzes chopped and who didn’t? It’s not very lady-like to insist that a man get out his zooglefreid out on the first date, but in these circumstances, who has a choice?

Oxford University has launched an investigation into the party. A spokesman from the university said: “The university is currently investigating a report about inappropriate behaviour by two or three students. We cannot comment on the case as we are yet to establish the facts. However, the university condemns unreservedly racial stereotyping.” Dr Winston Kosher Pickett, director of the European Institute for the Study of Contemporary Antisemitism, said: “When blatant and malicious Jewish stereotypes surface in the public space –particularly in an academic setting – the shock is palpable”. I know about shock and even artichoke, but what is shock and palpable? And besides, we pay Rabbi kosher Pickett to study Contemporary Antisemitism, so it doesn’t really make sense that, as soon as a current of anti Jewish rage occurs, he starts to complain. Would he prefer a ‘Don’t Bring A Jew Party?’

“On the one hand they make us realise how embedded they are in the collective consciousness. This is indeed what assimilation was there to resolve, but we always refused to jump on the train… while at the same time they send a clear signal of how important it is to educate others as to their hurtful nature. Hopefully the university will use this opportunity to do just that.

Oi these Guardian articles are so long, by the end I am just thinking about whether or not I remembered to defrost the gefilthe fish.

June 30, 2008

Jackie Mason Talks the Peace

Oi would you check out this clip?! The way Jackie Mason spits whenever he says the word ‘Arab’ is beautiful! Such grace, such eloquence, such poignancy. The man is so Jewish he manages to speak in a Noo Joy-zee accent even though he is from Wisconsin. That takes some doing! It is like sounding like a Glaswegian if you were born in the Golan Heights. Such talent. I wonder did he study acting with Lee Strasboyg?

Now it seems that Mr Mason (who I admit I have a slight crush on) is not just a comedian. He is a historian too. But he has a few little glitches to iron out. He tells us ‘Not only do the Arabs (spit) not belong there (spit) but they were never there in the first place. (dribble) They never existed as a people or as an entity.’

Oi this is wonderful news. But then he tells us that the Palestinians were originally persecuted by Syria & Jordan & that’s how they came to live on our land. He says ‘Many of them were annihilated, so how come they don’t ask for anything in return?’

Good question. When someone murders my family I want to be offered a cash alternative.

I tell you, the whole thing stinks like a gefilte fish that’s been left in the fridge for 3 days because you had to rush out to recue T’ziga’le from the Police station again and you forgot to clean it out.

United Against Racism!

May 30, 2008

International Judaica

Filed under: anthem, comrades, Israel, Jewish, judaica, May 1, Mony Gripstein, Sayanim, tRance, Yiddish — auntieziona @ 10:23 pm


Oi… some of our comrades asked where were Mony’le and tRanc’le in the May 1st Yiddish celebration we featured in the previous post…

Tzigale has just found this clip in the Jewish film archive at the Isroeli Embassy.

So here we proudly present the red Sayanim anthem as sung on every May 1st by Mony’le, tRanc’le and Potty, which for me is so inspiring…

United Against Racism!

May 9, 2008

Has Harry’s Place abandoned Gilad Shalit?

Filed under: David T, Gilad Atzmon, Gilad Shalit, Harry's Place, Jewish, Mikey, Roland Rance, Tony Greenstein — auntieziona @ 10:48 am

Hoy vay, isn’t he a human being any more?

I am so concerned about the changes taking place at Harry’s Place. It now has a new look, just gib it a cook, and seemingly also a new attitude.

As all of you know, David T is my ideological mentor, a promising young Zionist rising lawyer, and it was him who inspired me to put that beautiful picture of the world’s most beloved soldier, Gilad Shalit, at the top of my blog. But when Auntie Shelomi told me about Mikey’s new post at HP, I was horrified to see that Dovid has removed the banner calling for the liberation of Gilad’el. I could not believe my eyes.

Dovid, tell me, what to do, should we give up on Shalit, a human being and a Jew? Is it fine and well if he is eaten by those Araibish cannibals, fed to the dogs, or forced to convert to Islamicism and may even end up as Jihad Shalit?

And in the same piece, Mikey (who has eaten at my table on more Friday nights than I can count, and who shares with me a passion for Streisand ball gowns) wrote that my blog is the work of an Atmond supporter! This is what he writes:

“Greenstein’s troubles go beyond allegations of serious criminal conduct and the exposure of his “wishful thinking” about terrorism. While coping with the tedium of his own blog, he faces the humiliation of a spoof blog by a supporter of Atzmon. The unidentified blogger has even started posting videos mocking a certain “Mony Gripstein” and his comrade, the irreplaceable Roland Rance.”

No, Mikey, there are good Gilads and bad Gilads, and the one I support is Gilad Shalit! Have you forgotten my borscht and kugel?

All I can say is “Don’t spit into the well – you might drink from it later”.

United against racism!

May 8, 2008

Mony’s search for identity

Filed under: anti-semitism, anti-zionism, identity, Jewish, Jews, Mony Gripstein, search, Tony Greenstein — auntieziona @ 8:32 pm

Hoy, I am so worried, everybody is giving Mony’le a hard time. The Zionists say he is a joke and the anti-Zionists ignore him because of his unlawful record. This is so horrible.

And if this is not enough, yesterday Auntie Shelomi went to the Hoydeon cinema in Swiss Cottage to see a film about Isroel and guess what!? She saw a film about Mony, where he is crying because he doesn’t know who he is anymore and what he stands for. He was so confused, my little darling Mony’le.

And to make it worse, in the film he calls himself Tony Greenstein as if he tries to assimilate! Unless, and please listen to me carefully, Tony and Mony are two different people. I have now looked at the film and I cannot make up my mind. Tony looks so much like Mony, and when he cries my cloptz turns in my bowels. They look like 2 drops of chicken soup, except for a wart which seems to be missing from Tony’s right nostril.

So I decided to put the clip up and to let you decide.

Is Mony Tony?

May 6, 2008

The Auntie Ziona Jewish Film Festival

Filed under: clips, film, Jewish, racism, Tziga'le, YouTube — auntieziona @ 2:40 pm
My next door neighbour Tziga’le Cinemazky is so clever with his YouTube clips. He really knows how to get the right message across. He is so united against racism that he can hardly see anyone or anything else.

From time to time, I find it hard to follow his message because he is so clever, but somehow he always warms my heart. I look at his clips and feel the same special pride I felt after the Six Days War.

Here is Tziga’le’s latest:

United Against Racism

May 5, 2008

Can Anyone Help Frank Zapstein?

Filed under: Frank Zappa, Frank Zapstein, Jewish, Jewish Princess, YouTube — auntieziona @ 12:20 am

I mean names….

UNITED AGAINST RACISM

April 21, 2008

I am Jewish!

Filed under: Holocaust, Jewish, Jews, Kosher, rabbi — auntieziona @ 3:16 pm

To calm ourselves down in these challenging times when the anti-Semites surround us from every angle, even within our very own IDF, we can always listen to the wise words from my favourite video clip:
I am Jewish….

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