Auntie Ziona Against Auntie Simone

December 1, 2008

An Anti-Semitic Joke


One sunny day in 2009 an old man approached the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue, where he’d been sitting on a park bench. He spoke to the U.S. Marine standing guard and said, “I would like to go in and meet with President Bush.”

The Marine looked at the man and said, “Sir, Mr. Bush is no longer president and no longer resides here.” The old man said, “Okay” and walked away.

The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, “I would like to go in and meet with President Bush.” The Marine again told the man, “Sir, as I said yesterday, Mr. Bush is no longer president and no longer resides here.” The man thanked him and, again, just walked away.

The third day, the same man approached the White House and spoke to the very same U. S. Marine, saying “I would like to go in and meet with President Bush.” The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and said, “Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to Mr. Bush. I’ve told you already that Mr. Bush is no longer the president and no longer resides here. Don ‘t you understand?” The old man looked at the Marine and said, “Oh, I understand. I just love hearing it.

The Marine snapped to attention, saluted and said,” See you tomorrow Sir”.

United Against Humour

August 1, 2008

Jew-U-Wish Upon A Star?

Filed under: Anti-Semistism, anti-semite, anti-semites, Nazis, retribution, shoah, Zionists — auntieziona @ 4:26 pm

Oi! These Germans are meshugas! Look at this cartoon. It proves it. They are mad. First it shows a 1 little tiny little poor Jew pillaging the land. Then it shows little Yiddish fairies penetrating books, theatres, factories, banks, buildings of commerce. Are these Germans on drugs? Do they think all Jewish men are poofty fairies?

That reminds me I must chase up my retribution claim forms….

June 4, 2008

Is tRance trying to bring a Shoah upon all of us?

Or is he a chafarferet?

When tRance arrived at my front door this afternoon, he was visibly shaken. He was wearing that blue and white pullover Mrs Mendelsohn knitted for him when he turned 18, that serves as a sort of security blanket which he brings out of the closet when things are not going well, or when he runs out of medication. The sleeve of the right arm was crusty again with dried snarly and his eyes were red and tearful.

“tRance’le,” I said, “Mein Kinde, what’s going on with you this time?” He sniffled and made his way to my computer to show me this page from Wikipedia, where no less than 466 enemies of his are identified. “I can’t take it any more, Auntie Ziona,” he said. “I thought those video clips Tziga’le made of me, I mean the ones made by Azmond, Finkelstein, Gibsohn and Carter, would stop this hate campaign against me and make me a popular boychick. I was wrong. My list of enemies has expanded rather than contracted, and I don’t know what to do any more!”

I had a look at the page and could not believe my eyes! So many people trying to stop agent 007.01 from carrying out his important work for Zion at Wikipedia, could it be true? I had to sit down. “And look at the horrible names they are coming up with here, Auntie Z.”, he said, “such as Bash rrance, Bedwetter Rance, Diarrhea Rance, HangTrot, Imprison RRance, and Rancie Stink. They despise me.”

“But tRancie, mein Kinde,” I said, “who are these people? Are all of them anti-Zionists?”

“Most of them, Auntie,” he said. “But some just don’t like my face, some are anti-Socialist, some are anti-Bolshevik, some are anti-Ashkenazi, some are anti-grandfathers, some are anti-Londoners, some are anti-babysitters and some are anti-atheists. But some of them are real Socialists and true humanists, and they just read through me.”

“But tRancie,” I said, “are you mad? You are collecting enemies the way Auntie Shelomi collects Hannukah recipes. You are paid to be a Sayan, not to bring a new Shoa on our people, what is wrong with you? All these people who hate you so much will come for all of us eventually… and tRanci’le, have you ever asked yourself why they all despise you so much? Is it because you are such a wonderful man? We are talking here about hundreds of people. A researcher could use this material as a case study for anti-semitism!”

I managed to calm him down with some borscht and a promise that I would take him for lunch at Blooms on Saturday, but after he left, something occured to me. A crazy notion, to be sure, but knowing tRancie the way I do, it could be a distinct possibility.

Could tRance’le himself be the person behind 95% of those so-called “sockpuppets”, to make it seem that he is being attacked by anti-zionist, anti-semitic, holocaust-denying Goyim, thus currying more favour with the Israeli Embassy and hoping for a little bonus? If so, and I know I’ve said this before…..our tRancie is more clever than he looks.

He is not just an ordinary Sayan. He may in fact be a double Sayan, what we call in Hebrew a Chafarferet.

United Against Racism

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