Auntie Ziona Against Auntie Simone

June 13, 2008

SuperKosher

Filed under: goyim, hasbara, hero, Jews, Kosher, Sayan 007.01, superhero, tRance, Wiki, zionism — auntieziona @ 4:58 pm


There was a clear and confident knock on my back door last night. I knew it was Tziga’le, my neighbour and a comrade, because he sometimes uses Morse Code for “Shalom, Tante Ziona”, just to stay in practice. You never know when you’re going to need Morse Code again.

I opened my door gladly because I have been worried about dear Tzigal’le ever since tRancie put out the word that all those marvellous video clips about tRance’le’s rise to power at Wikipedia were made by that scheigetz Atzmond, rather than Tziga’le himself. This was almost too much for our Tziga’le to bear.

But when he strode in through the back door last night with his Menorah in one hand and a victorious expression on his face, I knew Tziga’le had turned the corner.

“Come with me, Auntie Ziona,” he announced, leading the way to the little back room where he keeps his Macintoyesh across from a small shrine of holy objects dedicated to the us, the people of Isroel. He gave me the comfortable chair and lit all the candles on the Menorah, as well as a stick of incense with gefilthe blossom. At the centre of the altar was a photograph of tRancie receiving his award from the Israeli embassy a few years ago, flanked on the left by one of those beautiful Israeli children signing the bombs about to be delivered to Lebanon. On the right side was the Calendar of events for June of the Golders Green Holocaust Museum and the take-way menu from the now-defunct Kosher-Stews-R-Us, which was closed down after the rabbi found some melted cheese in his Cholent.

“Aunty Ziona,” Tziga’le said, “tRancie came here a couple of nights ago to ask me to forgive him for not telling the whole world who the creative genius was behind those clips. I feel much better about it now, Aunti’e Ziona. tRancie asked me to turn my talents instead to creating a video which would portray him as a hero, no more talk about being part of the Sayanim. A saviour of the world, coming to the aid of the workers’ children needing to be rescued from burning synagogues and such-like.”

He paused to pour us each a glass of Yarden Gewurztraminer Vintage imported from Isreel, which he picked up at Steimatzky’s store, and has been keeping for a special occasion.

“He promised that if I could portray him in a heroic light, he would give me full credit for creating the clip. But he insisted I had to make him look really magnificent. Well, I got to work straight away, Auntie Z. Watch this!” he said, clinking glasses…

United Against Racism!
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June 4, 2008

Is tRance trying to bring a Shoah upon all of us?

Or is he a chafarferet?

When tRance arrived at my front door this afternoon, he was visibly shaken. He was wearing that blue and white pullover Mrs Mendelsohn knitted for him when he turned 18, that serves as a sort of security blanket which he brings out of the closet when things are not going well, or when he runs out of medication. The sleeve of the right arm was crusty again with dried snarly and his eyes were red and tearful.

“tRance’le,” I said, “Mein Kinde, what’s going on with you this time?” He sniffled and made his way to my computer to show me this page from Wikipedia, where no less than 466 enemies of his are identified. “I can’t take it any more, Auntie Ziona,” he said. “I thought those video clips Tziga’le made of me, I mean the ones made by Azmond, Finkelstein, Gibsohn and Carter, would stop this hate campaign against me and make me a popular boychick. I was wrong. My list of enemies has expanded rather than contracted, and I don’t know what to do any more!”

I had a look at the page and could not believe my eyes! So many people trying to stop agent 007.01 from carrying out his important work for Zion at Wikipedia, could it be true? I had to sit down. “And look at the horrible names they are coming up with here, Auntie Z.”, he said, “such as Bash rrance, Bedwetter Rance, Diarrhea Rance, HangTrot, Imprison RRance, and Rancie Stink. They despise me.”

“But tRancie, mein Kinde,” I said, “who are these people? Are all of them anti-Zionists?”

“Most of them, Auntie,” he said. “But some just don’t like my face, some are anti-Socialist, some are anti-Bolshevik, some are anti-Ashkenazi, some are anti-grandfathers, some are anti-Londoners, some are anti-babysitters and some are anti-atheists. But some of them are real Socialists and true humanists, and they just read through me.”

“But tRancie,” I said, “are you mad? You are collecting enemies the way Auntie Shelomi collects Hannukah recipes. You are paid to be a Sayan, not to bring a new Shoa on our people, what is wrong with you? All these people who hate you so much will come for all of us eventually… and tRanci’le, have you ever asked yourself why they all despise you so much? Is it because you are such a wonderful man? We are talking here about hundreds of people. A researcher could use this material as a case study for anti-semitism!”

I managed to calm him down with some borscht and a promise that I would take him for lunch at Blooms on Saturday, but after he left, something occured to me. A crazy notion, to be sure, but knowing tRancie the way I do, it could be a distinct possibility.

Could tRance’le himself be the person behind 95% of those so-called “sockpuppets”, to make it seem that he is being attacked by anti-zionist, anti-semitic, holocaust-denying Goyim, thus currying more favour with the Israeli Embassy and hoping for a little bonus? If so, and I know I’ve said this before…..our tRancie is more clever than he looks.

He is not just an ordinary Sayan. He may in fact be a double Sayan, what we call in Hebrew a Chafarferet.

United Against Racism

May 2, 2008

Julius vs. Gripstein

Filed under: Anthony Julius, anti-semite, Gilad Atzmon, goyim, Jews, Judaism, Julius, Princess Di — auntieziona @ 6:35 pm

I was really very concerned the other day when I read Julius’ article about Jewish anti-Zionism, Part One as well as Part Two!

Every Jewish anti-Zionist was mentioned: Ilan Papesh, Oren Ben Gore, Aki Vaor, Geraldine Rose, Bony Judt and even Goliath Azmond was there, presented as a leading figure, in spite of the fact that he unfortunately dropped out of our tribe.

So you want to know why I was really concerned? Nu shoin, I was worried because I was looking for my Mony’le, my little anarchist nephew. I was searching for his name and couldn’t even find a hint. In spite of the foict that for the last 30 years Mony’le has been purporting to be a “Jew against Zionism”, together with tRance and Potty (who is a little too frightening to link to).

Julius was so cruel not to even mention them once. It is true that no-one really likes to be associated with Mony’le because of his past, but Julius could have said just a word or two to acknowledge Mony’le’s futile effort. Julius should have known that words do not cost money – what a slap in the face!

To be snubbed by Princes Di’s lawyer must have hurt my Mony’le (always a secret royalist at heart), but perhaps he will call on tRancie and Potty to picket with him outside the Supreme Court next time Julius is having a big case. Mony loves a good picket, and it keeps him occupied, always a good thing. As my bubbe used to say, an idle brain is the devil’s workshop.

Between the Jews of us, it was very stupid of Julius to admit that Mony’le and his two pals are working for us at the Anti Z-mite Hunting Department. At the end of the day, a man has to make a living, and for a Marxist Jew, Judaism is not a religion, but an occupation.

Mony’le, you said today “There are a few people who have illusions that…. Gilad Atzmon is an anti-Zionist.”

You are right, my Mony’le – they are called Goyim, and we don’t like them at all.

United Against Racism

May 1, 2008

Nu shoin, a new Shoah!

Hoi Givalt, 100 British Jews revealed yesterday, black on white in the Guardian letter section: “We’re not celebrating Israel’s anniversary”.

What are we going to do? This is a new Shoa embarking on our innocent people!

According to the Zionist-run Wikipedia, the number of Jews living in Britain is somewhere between 250.000 and 350.000. So I made a quick calculation, recruiting my entire stock of frozen maza balls, and found out that now we are left with only 249.900-349.900 who celebrate this most precious Jewish birthday. Only 349.900 are going to dance in the streets of Golders Green, instead of 350.000.

But then I asked myself, what do they mean by ‘not celibrating’?. I can understand that some Jews do not care that much about their brothers. They may not even know about the Israeli celebration. But ‘not celebrating’ must be a different kind of disengagement.

What is their plan? Are they going come to our birthday Simcha, but then sit in a dark room listening to Wagner or Azmond, while crying their head off as if it’s Yom Kippur? What do these Jews do for a celebratory day out? Take gefilthe fish to the Brabican & sit looking at Nakba photos demonising the Chosen people all afternoon?

You should all know Auntie Ziona by now, I am not looking for conflicts. I never try to put other Jews down, I always look for the bond that make us all into one people who do nothing but try to save the world. I always look for the bright side of (Jewish) life. So I went and read again the first paragraph of these Jewish Anti-Party anarchists:

“In May, Jewish organisations will be celebrating the 60th anniversary of the founding of the state of Israel. This is understandable in the context of centuries of persecution culminating in the Holocaust. Nevertheless, we are Jews who will not be celebrating. Surely it is now time to acknowledge the narrative of the other, the price paid by another people for European anti-semitism and Hitler’s genocidal policies. As Edward Said emphasised, what the Holocaust is to the Jews, the Naqba is to the Palestinians.”

I then realized the entire paragraph is beautiful and overwhelmingly Jewish, except for the first silly sentence. Apparently they all became Atzmonites without even realizing. They say, “In May, JEWISH organisations will be celebrating the 60th anniversary of the founding of the state of Israel.”

I wonder, don’t they know the Jewish Iron Rule? Never mix JEWS with Zionists! They stupidly admit that we are all Zionists, except 100 of them. Maybe even they cannot maintain the lie anymore. Foolishly, they say ‘JEWISH organisations’, but obviously they should have said ‘ZIONIST organisations’. The truth is, we are all Zionists! Not very clever of these schlemeils to admit it, though.

Nu shoin, what can we do, Anti-Zionists were not pushing enough in the queue when G_d gave us all saykhl (brains). Because they like to share everything, they were left with so little.

But, once you skip the first sentence, you are left with a wonderful glatt koisher text. They do exactly what every good Jew must do. In three lines they have managed to shove everything people should know about us: “persecution”, “Holocaust”, “the narrative of the other” (as if we love our Goyim neighbours) , “anti-semitism”, “Hitler” and “genocide”. Only a well trained Yeshiva boicher can put so much Jewish suffering in just two sentences.

However, just to mention a small anecdote…Our Jews against Simcah end their letter with a very non-Jewish optimistic utopian sentence:”We will celebrate when Arab and Jew live as equals in a peaceful Middle East.”

Take it from Auntie Ziona, you will never celebrate because we, the Jews , do not believe in equality. We believe that we are the Chosen. We believe that we have a role in this world. True, we do not always agree amongst ourselves what this role is. Our Rabbis say we must serve humanity with a moral example, our Marxists say we must bring socialism to the working class, our Wolfowitzes say we must bring Coca Cola to the Arab world.

Nu shoin, we all want to give something, because we are givers rather than takers. Take it from Aunti Ziona, once we stop being the chosen people, once we stop telling people who they are, what they should be and what they should think, once we stop giving people some good advice, we won’t be Jews anymore. We will be people like other people.

And you anti-party Jews, once you stop being chosen, the danger is that you may make friends with Goyim in general and Arabs in particular!

United against Racism

The list of 100 Anti Party Jews:

Seymour Alexander 
Ruth Appleton
Steve Arloff
Rica Bird 
Jo Bird
Cllr Jonathan Bloch
Ilse Boas
Prof. Haim Bresheeth 
Tanya Bronstein
Sheila Colman
Ruth Clark
Sylvia Cohen
Judith Cravitz
Mike Cushman
Angela Dale
Ivor Dembina
Dr. Linda Edmondson
Nancy Elan
Liz Elkind
Pia Feig
Colin Fine
Deborah Fink
Sylvia Finzi
Brian Fisher MBE 
Frank Fisher
Bella Freud
Catherine Fried
Uri Fruchtmann
Stephen Fry
David Garfinkel
Carolyn Gelenter
Claire Glasman 
Tony Greenstein
Heinz Grunewald
Michael Halpern
Abe Hayeem
Rosamine Hayeem
Anna Hellman
Amy Hordes
Joan Horrocks
Deborah Hyams
Selma James
Riva Joffe
Yael Oren Kahn
Michael Kalmanovitz
Paul Kaufman
Prof. Adah Kay
Yehudit Keshet
Prof. Eleonore Kofman
Rene Krayer
Stevie Krayer
Berry Kreel
Leah Levane
Les Levidow
Peter Levin
Louis Levy
Ros Levy
Prof. Yosefa Loshitzky
Catherine Lyons 
Deborah Maccoby
Daniel Machover
Prof. Emeritus Moshe Machover
Miriam Margolyes OBE
Mike Marqusee
Laura Miller
Simon Natas
Hilda Meers
Martine Miel
Laura Miller
Arthur Neslen 
Diana Neslen
Orna Neumann
Harold Pinter 
Roland Rance
Frances Rivkin
Sheila Robin
Dr. Brian Robinson
Neil Rogall
Prof. Steven Rose
Mike Rosen 
Prof. Jonathan Rosenhead
Leon Rosselson
Michael Sackin
Sabby Sagall
Ian Saville
Alexei Sayle
Anna Schuman
Sidney Schuman
Monika Schwartz
Amanda Sebestyen 
Sam Semoff
Linda Shampan
Sybil Shine
Prof. Frances Stewart
Inbar Tamari
Ruth Tenne
Martin Toch
Tirza Waisel
Stanley Walinets
Martin White
Ruth Williams
Naomi Wimborne-Idrissi
Devra Wiseman
Gerry Wolff
Sherry Yanowitz

Join Israel’s 60th anniversary celebration!

April 22, 2008

Let’s keep it in the family (don’t tell the Goyim)!

Filed under: Arabs, experiments, goyim, human shield, IDF, Israel, mercy, Nazis, Palestinian, racism, soldiers, terror, truth — auntieziona @ 2:17 pm

My sister from Hendon sent me this disgraceful front page article from the Independent : “Our reign of Terror, by the Israeli army” .

A convoluted piece of diatribe made by self-hater IDF soldiers who were so keen to tell the Goyim how horrible they feel about themselves. Oi vey, is all I have to say. Israeli soldiers admitting to behaving like Nazis is really the last thing we need on British press on a Sunday.

Believe me, I pinched myself to make sure I wasn’t dreaming when I read these lines:

“He (the Israeli commander) put his weapon literally inside the (Palestinian) kid’s mouth. ‘Anyone gets close, I kill him. Don’t bug me. I kill. I have no mercy.’

Or these lines, my Got:

“We did all kinds of experiments to see who could do the best split in Abu Snena. We would put [Palestinians] against the wall, make like we were checking them, and ask them to spread their legs. Spread, spread, spread, it was a game to see who could do it best. Or we would check who can hold his breath for longest.

Nu shoin, this is not exactly gassing people or inquisition. But, let’s face it, it is not really nice to find out that the sons of Israel behave like Nazis.

I felt so angry with these anti-semite Israeli soldiers who insist on telling the truth without being asked. It is true, we do not have that much mercy for the Goyim in general and Arabs in particular, but why can’t we just keep it in the family? To go and tell it all to the Goyim is just insane. It is worse than committing suicide. I tell you, these solders are a bunch of Meshigines.

I was about to call for revenge, and even to suggest a date for crucifixion, which is exactly what we love to do to our self haters and meshigine traitors. But then guess what, I realised that I was so wrong. These Meshigine soldiers all fit nicely into the Zionist master plan. It is all subversive spiel that the Goyim wouldn’t understand in million years.

The trick here is so simple. As you can see, no more than half a dozen guilt-ridden Israeli platoons can save our entire tribe. The Goyim love us full of remorse. They loved to be fooled by our repentance. They love us confessing, because it allows them to love themselves.

Let’s face it, the Goyim do not love us at all. We cannot really blame them. They see through us, and they don’t like what they see. But as much as they detest us, they really cannot stand themselves being anti-Semites. As much as they hate us, they cannot stand themselves being racist bigots. And this is exactly where our Jewish self-haters come into play. All these Chopsky, and Finkelstoin and Shamir and Blankforce and Azmoned, and these IDF traitors in the Independent, they all come to serve one purpose. They make us, Jews, look like normal human beings. People who can sin from time to time, yet feel guilty and repentant about it all, and ask for redemption. Our self-haters make us all look like Christians, so that the Goyim can like us. Our self-haters help the Goyim handle their anti-Semitism.

Thus, we have to nourish our self-haters. They make the Jews look liberal and peaceful. We need our self-haters to be loud so that we can quietly build more settlements in the West bank, and cut the energy and food supply to Gaza. Just to make sure that these imperialist Palestinian terrorists stop this wave of terror against us.

United Against Racism!

April 19, 2008

Only a Goy can be such a fool

This Jimmy Cunter really learned his lesson in Heretz Isroel this week. He thought that because he was once President of America, he could tell the Jews what to do and how to do it.
I tell you, this anti-semite president Cunter lives in the past. Nowadays the American Presidents all know that it is the Jews who tell them what to do rather than the other way around. We are telling them what to do not because we are that clever or rich. It is just because we have a plan for this world. We always had a plan for humanity to offer while the Goyim have none. We invented almighty G_d, we invented the church, we came up with socialism and later with liberalism and even this Freud, who tells people what they think for real, was one of us.
Yes, there is one thing we didn’t invent, it is called Islam and you can all see what a mess it is. I tell you, if I never hear another word of Arabic in my life, it will be too soon! In our Jewish world we always know who are the baddies and who are the goodies. We always know who is Koisher and who are the devils. And guess what, we always know how to get others to fight the devils. We are a very simple act to follow. And most importantly, we are associated with wisdom and success, so people really like to be around us. Except this idiotic Jew-hater Jimmy Cunter.
Even this new joker Barak Obambi, who pretended to be a hard nut to crack, is now begging for us to tell him what to do. He even stood up against his Veteran president a day ago, denouncing him talking to those terrorists who plan to bring a new shoah on our innocent people in Isroel.
Look at this anti-semite Cunter, what is it that he wants? He says that he wants to bring peace and hope to the Middle East. If he was as clever as he claims to be, he would understand that our people’s hope doesn’t live in peace with anyone else’s hope. This Goy Jimmy believes that peace should be made by both parties. Let me tell you, only a Goy can be such a fool.We don’t believe in a dialogue. We believe in stick and carrot. We believe in lobbying, we believe in ourselves. We believe that our G_d will punish our enemies when we tell him to do so. Just because our G_d knows that if he fails to provide the goods, we can always dump him and invent a new one.

Together Against Racism!

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