Auntie Ziona Against Auntie Simone

December 16, 2008

Madoff’s List – Bernie, Come Home!

Oy vey. It is all Hitler’s fault.

Before the big war, the goyim knew pretty well how fishy we could be with money. But because of this mishuggah anti-Semite Hitler, they became convinced that the defeat of the Nazis was also a declaration of our innocence.

Oi ever, it was not only the stupid goyim who gave their gelt to Bernie Madoff. Everyone thought he was a heymishe Jewish guy. Even Steven’le Shpielberg and Elie Wiesel handed over all their shekels to this Yiddisher ganef, and now they’re wondering where the next bowl of chicken soup is coming from.

Last Passover I told that old alta kocker, “Bernie’le, why don’t you learn from Mony’le? Do it in small steps, one chicken here, a credit card there. 50 billion is just a bit too much in one helping.”

I tell you, I feel it in my kishkas. Even my dog Ponzi is looking nervous. For so long we have managed to effectively silence the goyim with this political correctness, but I always knew that eventually they would come for us. I am so worried.

I really hope Bernard’le left some money under the floorboards so that he can at least pay back Shpielberg to cover the costs of his new Swindler’s List production.

He may even call it “Madoff’s List”.

United against a new Shoah

Alta Kocker an old shit or an old fart.

Geltgold, money. Hanukkah gelt are the chocolate gold-foiled coins traditionally given at the holiday.

Gonif (gon-niff) – thief, dishonest person, embezzler, unscrupulous businessman.

Haymishe – warm, homey, friendly.

Kishkaguts, intestines. “I was so upset, I was eating my kishkas out!” “Some secret agent! After 10 minutes of questioning, he spilled his kishkas!”

Mishuggah (mish-shug-uh) – crazy, nuts, loony-tunes.


  1. w w w . h a a r e t z . c o m

    “Report: Elie Wiesel, Steven Spielberg among victims of Madoff affair”

    Comment by Anonymous — December 16, 2008 @ 6:28 pm

  2. yes indeed my kleine…. this is one of the articles Tante’le already linked to. Oy vey, vot is happening in the world when a Jew cannot even trust his money to another Jew?

    This is another Nazi victory.

    Comment by Auntie Ziona — December 16, 2008 @ 6:44 pm

  3. Auntie’le what are you on about? Jews are always suspicious of other Jews. it is the Goyim that let us play with their money….

    Roland Mamonnovitch

    Comment by Anonymous — December 16, 2008 @ 7:03 pm

  4. yes, Roland’le, but we have to keep our scandals inside the shtetl walls. Now these gonif brethren of ours are creating a shonda for the goyim, these Blogos and Rahms and Madoffs and Greenspans. It’s too much for me after the failure of Imagine This.

    This Madoff has given the goyim the lovely Christmas presnt, laughing at us.

    Comment by Auntie Ziona — December 16, 2008 @ 8:45 pm

  5. hahahahahahahahaha!!!!

    Comment by The Goyim — December 16, 2008 @ 9:13 pm

  6. Dear Auntie: Good stuff, but how can you be both a Jew and an atheist? Just curious as to your logic here.

    Atheistic Catholic Goy-boy

    Comment by Anonymous — December 16, 2008 @ 9:17 pm

  7. Like all Zionist Jews – short term smart, long term stupid.

    Comment by Anonymous — December 17, 2008 @ 12:41 am

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