Auntie Ziona Against Auntie Simone

July 6, 2008

Oi vey! We are having a party!

I didn’t say anything to anybody because I don’t want any fuss, presents, flowers, cakes or cards – but yes I admit it, I admit it, it is my wedding anniversary coming on August 10th (23 Golders Green Crescent, London, NW11. The front door bell is broken – I keep telling him to fix it – but deliveries, can be left in the double-fronted garage).

I said to Mony’le, I said ‘Mony, my little Kneidlach, what music shall we have for the party? Should it be kletzma? Should it be sad violins’? He said ‘Auntie Ziona, I know the perfect song for us all to dance to! And there is a video film to go with it which we can project on the wall’ (us Jews we love projecting!)

Oi here it is, the most beautiful, funny song ever. I cant wait! We can hold hands & dance!

June 5, 2008

Gentile Grief

Filed under: anti-semite, Gentile, German, Jews, Muslims, Nazis, shoah — auntieziona @ 1:43 pm

A Poem by Auntie Simone
Dear Auntie Ziona,
What shall I do,
I came out a gentile,
And not as a Jew!

Dear lesser mortal,
Your problem is grave,
But I’ve a solution
Your conscience to save.

All talk of the Jews
Will be morally wrong
Unless it resembles
Solomon’s song.

Speak of the Shoah
With awe and respect,
And not one iota
Will you reject.

Never suggest
That Jews might conspire;
If you do that
You’re playing with fire.

Israel, it’s true,
Is terribly bad,
But it’s not with the Jews
You ought to get mad.

No, it’s the West’s
Imperial dream
Which caused this trouble,
This dastardly scheme.

Remember the Jews
Are peace-loving and wise.
It’s the anti-Semite
Who this truth denies.

The Muslims are suspect,
Between you and me.
They’ve crazy beliefs
And their women aren’t free.

Seek out old Nazis
Under the bed;
Take them to court
Even if they’re half dead.

You say you’re a German,
Oi ye! oi veh!
You’d better work hard,
What more can I say?

But really the best
Would be to discover
You’re also Jewish
By your great grandmother!

United Against Racism!

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