Auntie Ziona Against Auntie Simone

November 3, 2008

The Mony Magical Trip

Filed under: Ian Saville, magicians, Marc Maron, Mony Gripstein, Toys-R-Us, Tziga'le — auntieziona @ 5:42 pm

My Mony isn’t doing well at all, and I’ve been worried about him. He sits alone in his room all day, spending hours playing with the dreidel Uncle Shlommi gave him when he turned three, even though it’s not yet Chanuka.

I made him some kreplach with chopped meat, onions and a bissell shmaltz served in chicken soup to cheer him up, but nothing seems to work.

Oy oy oy, thank goodness Tziga’le, my neighbor and a real mentsh, is back from Israel where he took part in a wonderful contest to commemorate Sir Paul’s visit… more about that later this week.

Tziga’le is always ready with ideas to cheer up Mony, and when he saw the state my poor nephew was in, he whipped out his collection of Jewish Magician Shows, and let Mony choose two to keep himself entertained till bedtime.

Mrs Mendelsohn and her daughter Rachel have promised to take him on an outing to Toys-R-Us tomorrow, so at least that should take care of activities for the morning. It’s nice to see him a little bit excited again, and he’s already chosen his outfit for tomorrow, including a bright red jersey to contrast nicely with the blue and white of the ribbon he got from the Israeli Embassy and T’Ranci’le.

If you and your little ones want to watch the magician shows in solidarity with Mony’le this evening, here they are:

Ian Saville, Socialist Magician

Marc Maron hails the great Jewish magicians of all time

United Against the Goyim, especially Auntie Simone!

November 2, 2008

An S.O.S. after Shabbat

Filed under: children, magicians, Miki'le, Mony Gripstein, Roland Rance, Shabbat, Tony Greenstein, toys, tRance — auntieziona @ 12:14 pm

Oy gevalt, after reading some of the comments made in this post about his preferred methods for disciplining the young, it was not easy for my Mony’le to sit and eat gefilthe at the same table with his brethren on Shabbat.

With tears in his eyes, Mony’le showed us this blue and white ribbon given to him by the Israeli Embassy and Chief Wikipedia Rabbi, Comrade Roland Rance, to commemorate his ceaseless caring for the Jewish youngsters of the working class. Mony assured us that he loves all the little people, and as you know, he himself has never fully grown up.

The incident in which “The Great Velcro” slapped a little boy with a broken arm through the face really happened, yes, and afterwards, my Mony said some things about the “reasonable chastisement” of the young which he has come to regret. Nu Shoin, what can we do, he always says things and then happens to regret them. That is life, or shall I say, that is Mony’s life. Oi ever, Mony’le and the magician both discovered that Velcro sticks worse than sheise.

Mony’le now wants to make it clear that he loves everybody, except Eisen, Azmond, Mearsheiner & Walt, and the Hamas. He loves the elders, the youngsters, the working class, the unemployed, the magicians, Toys-R-Us, and he even loves himself!

Pinning his blue and white ribbon proudly on his chest, he proclaimed loudly that this ribbon is there to show his REAL feelings about the little people who are put on this Earth for us to protect.

As annoyed as I was with Mony for kicking Miki’le in the shins, I am here to affirm that Mony’le adores the young, and his fondest wish is to raise them to be proud, unemployed Jewish revolutionary socialists just like himself.

United Against the Adult!

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