Auntie Ziona Against Auntie Simone

December 1, 2008

An Anti-Semitic Joke


One sunny day in 2009 an old man approached the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue, where he’d been sitting on a park bench. He spoke to the U.S. Marine standing guard and said, “I would like to go in and meet with President Bush.”

The Marine looked at the man and said, “Sir, Mr. Bush is no longer president and no longer resides here.” The old man said, “Okay” and walked away.

The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, “I would like to go in and meet with President Bush.” The Marine again told the man, “Sir, as I said yesterday, Mr. Bush is no longer president and no longer resides here.” The man thanked him and, again, just walked away.

The third day, the same man approached the White House and spoke to the very same U. S. Marine, saying “I would like to go in and meet with President Bush.” The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and said, “Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to Mr. Bush. I’ve told you already that Mr. Bush is no longer the president and no longer resides here. Don ‘t you understand?” The old man looked at the Marine and said, “Oh, I understand. I just love hearing it.

The Marine snapped to attention, saluted and said,” See you tomorrow Sir”.

United Against Humour

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November 7, 2008

Zeligs for Peace

Last night I had a socio-political, erotic, cosmopolitan dream. In my dream I had a kleine beard. I think that I was Lenin. I was on my knees with my tuches in the air, on the table at the Kremlin. As it happened, the delegates of the international Jews against Zionism, Tony Greenstein, Roland Rance, Abraham Weizfeld and Moshe Machover, came to kiss my arse.

I was just about to give in to the ultimate pleasure when I saw Mikey Ezra at the back of the room, wearing shin pads. He held a bourgeoisie blackberry in his hand, and was looking at me with contempt.


Oi vey, I shouted in my dream!

I froze! I woke up sweating. I realized it all…

You are all Zelig chameleons! If the Bund is right and you are indeed a Jewish nation,what we call the yiddishe volk, you cannot also be international.
You are either national or international. Unless you want to be just Zeligs for Peace (ZFP).

I then fell asleep again. In my dream, I was swimming in chicken soup with Auntie Shelomi, and we were splashing each other and eating the knudels as they drifted past.

United Against the Goyim!

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