Auntie Ziona Against Auntie Simone

December 7, 2008

Bidna Auntie!

Filed under: Arabic, Arabs, Barack Obama, Gordon Brown, Islamophobia, Judaism — auntieziona @ 3:00 am

As much as I really don’t like goyim in general and arabs in particular, it seems as if they love me very much.

Nu shoin, some of my admirers have even started sending me versions of my own writing lovingly translated into Arabic, like this one I received last week from a man who I suspect wants to convert to Judaism:

أنا العمة زيونا أنا الصوت اليديشي في الموقع العبثي التفليسي، أنا فخورة، أنا كوشير (ما يحل أكلة حسب الشريعة اليودية)، أنا بطلة، وأنا الضحية، أنا يهودية، أنا كافرة، وأنا عالمية، ولكني أحب شعبي بنفس النسبة أو أكثر التي أكره بها جميع الآخرين، أتكلم عالمياً، ولنني أفكر قبلياً. مرة في العام أعود (عاليا) إلى “إسرائيل”. ومرة في الآسبوع آكل سمك “غيفيلفث”. ويومياً أتناول حساء الدجاج. أنا سعيدة، أنا دائما سعيدة جداً…
العمة زيونا – أنظر لمحة كاملة عن حياتي

كي لا تستلم أي رسائل مني في المستقبل، ولا حتى هانوكه، ولا كعك يهودي، أو شعور بالخطيئة…. أرسل رسالة الكترونية بالرجوع تحت عنوان، “الرجاء لا ترسلوا شالوم(ات) ما تتدعون أنه سلام”

Oy vey, you can probably guess why even the Adibs and Muhammeds regard me as their very own Tante’le. Obviously they’ve heard about my gefilte recipe, but to tell you the truth, I cannot see how people who turn chickpeas into that revolting punishment they call hummus can even understand the subtlety of the knudel, the chicken soup and the gefilte.

Oy oy oy, what can I say about goyisher logic that hasn’t been said already?! These arabs, they want to throw us to the sea, but they want to eat our gefilte first. This is why I call them islamofascists and support Obambi’s and Brown’s plan to nuke them as soon as possible.

United against the goyim!

We want (Arabic)

May 2, 2008

Julius vs. Gripstein

Filed under: Anthony Julius, anti-semite, Gilad Atzmon, goyim, Jews, Judaism, Julius, Princess Di — auntieziona @ 6:35 pm

I was really very concerned the other day when I read Julius’ article about Jewish anti-Zionism, Part One as well as Part Two!

Every Jewish anti-Zionist was mentioned: Ilan Papesh, Oren Ben Gore, Aki Vaor, Geraldine Rose, Bony Judt and even Goliath Azmond was there, presented as a leading figure, in spite of the fact that he unfortunately dropped out of our tribe.

So you want to know why I was really concerned? Nu shoin, I was worried because I was looking for my Mony’le, my little anarchist nephew. I was searching for his name and couldn’t even find a hint. In spite of the foict that for the last 30 years Mony’le has been purporting to be a “Jew against Zionism”, together with tRance and Potty (who is a little too frightening to link to).

Julius was so cruel not to even mention them once. It is true that no-one really likes to be associated with Mony’le because of his past, but Julius could have said just a word or two to acknowledge Mony’le’s futile effort. Julius should have known that words do not cost money – what a slap in the face!

To be snubbed by Princes Di’s lawyer must have hurt my Mony’le (always a secret royalist at heart), but perhaps he will call on tRancie and Potty to picket with him outside the Supreme Court next time Julius is having a big case. Mony loves a good picket, and it keeps him occupied, always a good thing. As my bubbe used to say, an idle brain is the devil’s workshop.

Between the Jews of us, it was very stupid of Julius to admit that Mony’le and his two pals are working for us at the Anti Z-mite Hunting Department. At the end of the day, a man has to make a living, and for a Marxist Jew, Judaism is not a religion, but an occupation.

Mony’le, you said today “There are a few people who have illusions that…. Gilad Atzmon is an anti-Zionist.”

You are right, my Mony’le – they are called Goyim, and we don’t like them at all.

United Against Racism

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