Auntie Ziona Against Auntie Simone

December 8, 2008

Our Jewish Pin-Ups for 2009

Filed under: Charles Pottins, David Hirsh, David Taube, Roland Rance, Tony Greenstein — auntieziona @ 9:00 pm

Only three bissel weeks to go and the New Year will be here! It’s time to buy ourselves new calendars my lieblings, and this is the one your Tante’le recommends.

To begin with, meet Mony, our cover guy, snapped during a meander through the woods with his gefilte in green-friendly packaging.

Oy oy oy, and here’s David’le, who never met an arab he liked or a platter of food he didn’t like. He’s been putting in the man hours to fatten himself up in time for Channukah. Girls, those love handles are to die for.


And for the red brigade we present Roland’le, our head sayan at Wiki, gatekeeper par excellence, who also loves a nice game of Yiddisher Scrabble….. but only sensitive baleboostehs need apply!


And now for Auntie’s personal favourite boychick, Potty’le …..for the woman who simply wants MORE… more experience, more attendance at meetings of the neighbourhood Goy Watch, more eating, more drinking and more merry-making, especially in the bedroom……


And last, but definitely not least… no calendar would be complete without our islamophobe with the swimming fetish. Oy oy oy, what Dovid’le loves to do in the muslim-only swimming pool will make you blush, girls… but don’t forget to wear your Star of David if you want to score with Dovid.


These are guys you can take home to mom, to Blooms, or even to a WIZO meeting without fear of reprisals. They’re nice… they’re Jewish… and they finally have their own calendar!

So what’s not to like?! Nu, it even comes with all the Jewish Holidays already marked.

United against the goyim machos!

Bissel: (bis-sel) A little.
Baleboosteh: (bal-a-boo-stah) an organized, efficient, praise-worthy homemaker.

November 7, 2008

Zeligs for Peace

Last night I had a socio-political, erotic, cosmopolitan dream. In my dream I had a kleine beard. I think that I was Lenin. I was on my knees with my tuches in the air, on the table at the Kremlin. As it happened, the delegates of the international Jews against Zionism, Tony Greenstein, Roland Rance, Abraham Weizfeld and Moshe Machover, came to kiss my arse.

I was just about to give in to the ultimate pleasure when I saw Mikey Ezra at the back of the room, wearing shin pads. He held a bourgeoisie blackberry in his hand, and was looking at me with contempt.


Oi vey, I shouted in my dream!

I froze! I woke up sweating. I realized it all…

You are all Zelig chameleons! If the Bund is right and you are indeed a Jewish nation,what we call the yiddishe volk, you cannot also be international.
You are either national or international. Unless you want to be just Zeligs for Peace (ZFP).

I then fell asleep again. In my dream, I was swimming in chicken soup with Auntie Shelomi, and we were splashing each other and eating the knudels as they drifted past.

United Against the Goyim!

November 2, 2008

An S.O.S. after Shabbat

Filed under: children, magicians, Miki'le, Mony Gripstein, Roland Rance, Shabbat, Tony Greenstein, toys, tRance — auntieziona @ 12:14 pm

Oy gevalt, after reading some of the comments made in this post about his preferred methods for disciplining the young, it was not easy for my Mony’le to sit and eat gefilthe at the same table with his brethren on Shabbat.

With tears in his eyes, Mony’le showed us this blue and white ribbon given to him by the Israeli Embassy and Chief Wikipedia Rabbi, Comrade Roland Rance, to commemorate his ceaseless caring for the Jewish youngsters of the working class. Mony assured us that he loves all the little people, and as you know, he himself has never fully grown up.

The incident in which “The Great Velcro” slapped a little boy with a broken arm through the face really happened, yes, and afterwards, my Mony said some things about the “reasonable chastisement” of the young which he has come to regret. Nu Shoin, what can we do, he always says things and then happens to regret them. That is life, or shall I say, that is Mony’s life. Oi ever, Mony’le and the magician both discovered that Velcro sticks worse than sheise.

Mony’le now wants to make it clear that he loves everybody, except Eisen, Azmond, Mearsheiner & Walt, and the Hamas. He loves the elders, the youngsters, the working class, the unemployed, the magicians, Toys-R-Us, and he even loves himself!

Pinning his blue and white ribbon proudly on his chest, he proclaimed loudly that this ribbon is there to show his REAL feelings about the little people who are put on this Earth for us to protect.

As annoyed as I was with Mony for kicking Miki’le in the shins, I am here to affirm that Mony’le adores the young, and his fondest wish is to raise them to be proud, unemployed Jewish revolutionary socialists just like himself.

United Against the Adult!

May 26, 2008

tRance-Atlantic Appeal to YouTube

Filed under: censorship, Roland Rance, tRance, Wiki, Wikipedia, YouTube, Zioism, Zionists — auntieziona @ 10:24 am


Hoy, I am slightly puzzled with 007.01. Why is he panicking about being exposed as a Sayan? Why is he so worried about his reputation? How is it that 007.01 is besides himself with angst?.

As far as I can see, Roland tRance has been a smear campaigner for decades. For this he earned our undying gratitude and pride. But like all my Zionist friends, I am bewildered. How is it that a man who has always taken such pride in smearing and slandering others has suddenly become so sensitive to exposure? He should understand that his role at Wikipedia has been invaluable to us, and wear the badge of Sayanim proudly!.

Tziga’le has been spending some quality time with Roland this weekend, trying to keep him calm, making sure he takes his medication. Tziga’le also recorded just a few of the panicky calls made by Roland to various YouTube call centres around the world. It’s rather disgusting that YouTube is ignoring him like this, I am sure you will agree, dear readers.

However, we will look after him during this new campaign, and make sure he receives the necessary sustenance while he continues to lobby them. As my bubbe used to say, Worries go better with soup than without.
United Against Racism!

May 24, 2008

tRance bombards the YouTube call centre in Louisiana

Filed under: censorship, Google, Roland Rance, RolandR, tRance, Wiki, Wikipedia, YouTube, zionism, Zionists — auntieziona @ 2:13 pm



Hoy, my Tziga’leme Jewish Felini is such a clever boy. May I say it, I really love my Neighbour. I don’t really know how he did it, but he managed to get hold of a telephone conversation between Red Sayam 007.01, also known as Roland tRance, and a receptionist Shikze at a call centre in Louisiana.

All along I have been sure that it was the anti-Semites who were removing Sayan 007.01’s clips from YouTube. Now I realize that it was Sayan 007.01 himself.

Our man at Wikipdia realised that as an exposed agent, he may lose his day job at the Israeli Embassy.

Hoy tRance’le, don’t you worry. Isroel and Ziona are right behind you. Keep up the pressure on the anti-Semites.

United Against Racism!

May 19, 2008

Our Man Rance at Wikipedia

Filed under: Israel, Jews, Roland Rance, socialists, Wikipedia, zionism, Zionists — auntieziona @ 4:32 pm

Oy vey, it seems to be not a good year for our Sayanim. First it was Mony who was exposed closing down Palestinian sites, and now our king Sayan, Roland Rance, has been exposed as a Zionist Wikiman. As proud as we are of his masterful editing on Wikipedia of biographies of troublesome people, we really did not want the goyim public to become aware of his activities.

As funny as it may be, Tziga’le was commissioned by the Israeli embassy here in London to make a short film about Rance’s activities. It was supposed to be shown on Rosh Ashana at a private party in the Odeon, in Golders Green, to celebrate 40 years of Jewish Marxist Sayanim. Nu shoin, there may be no good reason to celebrate anymore, but at least I can show it to my audience….

Ladies and Gentelmen, Zios and Zionas, here he is, our Wiki Man, Mr Roland Rance. We are hoping that this clip and its catchy tune will at least make it to the Top of the Pops.

22 May 2008 – Shocking update! The targeting of our man Rance at Wikipedia by extremely anti-semitic elements within YouTube (which we wrongly assumed the chosen people had long ago taken control over) is being fought tooth and nail by our Sayanim world-wide. The effect of this campaign to prevent Roland from achieving the fame he deserves is actually uniting Jews across the spectrum – kosher Jews, Israeli Jews, diaspora Jews, orthodox Jews, atheist Jews, Socialist Jews, ordinary Jews, Jews with Special Needs, Jews of all colours and sexual persuasions. We will never be divided again!

The Ladies of Wizo have managed to locate 41 different free video clip hosting services on the internet, have opened accounts at all of them, and have uploaded all of Trancie’s clips at each one! Roland is going to become more and more famous with each new attempt to silence him on YouTube by the neo-nazis! Holocaust-deniers be damned, United we will Overcome.

May 15, 2008

A Salute to Those Who Keep Our World Safe

When Trancie arrived at my house today, I knew something was wrong. He had somehow lost his usual joie de vivre, his hair was unkempt, he smelled like last week’s gefilte fish, and it looked as though he had not had any sleep for a week.

Even worse, I could see from his red-rimmed eyes that he had been crying, his nose was still running, and he kept wiping it on the sleeve of his jumper, which was already criss-crossed and crusty with snail trails. I knew then that something must be going seriously wrong in his life.

Sit down, Trancie, I told him, and tell Auntie Z what’s the matter. (Though I was tempted to remind him to give his clothes a wash once in a while, I didn’t go there, as the poor man was upset enough already. But as my bubbe used to say, weeping makes the heart grow lighter.)

After quite a lot of cajoling, he came out with the truth. He told me that all the beautiful clips which my neighbour, Tziga’le Cinematsky, has been making for him, and which were uploaded at YouTube to show Trancie’s magnificent effort at Wikipedia to weed out and destroy the enemies of Israel, have been removed by the anti-semitic elements at YouTube. He is spending all night uploading new copies, and when he wakes up in the morning, they are gone again!

I told him, Trancie, you have to stop letting our adversaries stress you out, they cannot beat us in the long run! If it’s a war they want, we will launch a full-scale shoah against the censors, which will make our invasion of Lebanon look like a children’s birthday party.

I told him not to worry any more, despite the fact that the anti-semitic, anti-proletarian, anti-atheistic goyim at YouTube are taking down all of his publicity, our Tziga’le is going to create a marvellous new musical clip for him, one that is sure to get the feet tapping of even the most anti-semitic goy, with a tune that will take him to the Top of the Pops faster that you can say “Oy Vey!”.

Trancie started to cheer up a little bit when he heard about my plan to put the word out to our network of sayanim that more volunteers are needed for loading Trancie’s clips at YouTube, as well as to all the other free hosters provided on the internet. He started to smile again when I told him that in a matter of days, united against racism, we will upload hundreds of his clips to all the available sites, and the anti-semitic, anti-proletarian, anti-atheistic censors will never win this war!

As fast as they remove his material, we will continue putting it up, we will be like a beautiful blue and white AIDS virus, that multiplies each time one is removed!! The goyim will think of us as zioviruses against anti-semitism, and the holocaust-denying, neo-nazi censors will NEVER succeed in removing all references to our Trancie’le from the internet.

While Tzige’le is putting the finishing touches to Trancie’s new musical video clip (watch this space, where it will have its first showing), Tzige’le has given me permission to post his latest clip, a beautiful pictorial ode showing Trancie and many of Those Who Save the World saluting Gilad Shalit, the world’s most beloved soldier, and a human being as well as a Jew.

United against racism!

May 9, 2008

Has Harry’s Place abandoned Gilad Shalit?

Filed under: David T, Gilad Atzmon, Gilad Shalit, Harry's Place, Jewish, Mikey, Roland Rance, Tony Greenstein — auntieziona @ 10:48 am

Hoy vay, isn’t he a human being any more?

I am so concerned about the changes taking place at Harry’s Place. It now has a new look, just gib it a cook, and seemingly also a new attitude.

As all of you know, David T is my ideological mentor, a promising young Zionist rising lawyer, and it was him who inspired me to put that beautiful picture of the world’s most beloved soldier, Gilad Shalit, at the top of my blog. But when Auntie Shelomi told me about Mikey’s new post at HP, I was horrified to see that Dovid has removed the banner calling for the liberation of Gilad’el. I could not believe my eyes.

Dovid, tell me, what to do, should we give up on Shalit, a human being and a Jew? Is it fine and well if he is eaten by those Araibish cannibals, fed to the dogs, or forced to convert to Islamicism and may even end up as Jihad Shalit?

And in the same piece, Mikey (who has eaten at my table on more Friday nights than I can count, and who shares with me a passion for Streisand ball gowns) wrote that my blog is the work of an Atmond supporter! This is what he writes:

“Greenstein’s troubles go beyond allegations of serious criminal conduct and the exposure of his “wishful thinking” about terrorism. While coping with the tedium of his own blog, he faces the humiliation of a spoof blog by a supporter of Atzmon. The unidentified blogger has even started posting videos mocking a certain “Mony Gripstein” and his comrade, the irreplaceable Roland Rance.”

No, Mikey, there are good Gilads and bad Gilads, and the one I support is Gilad Shalit! Have you forgotten my borscht and kugel?

All I can say is “Don’t spit into the well – you might drink from it later”.

United against racism!

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