Auntie Ziona Against Auntie Simone

December 9, 2008

Auntie Discovers the Jewish Agenda

Filed under: Hebrew, Jewish Agenda, Jewish holidays — auntieziona @ 6:20 pm


When people say there is a Jewish Agenda, all my well-meaning nephews kvetch that it’s an anti-semitic thing to say.

I only want peace between all the Jewish people, but your Auntie has to tell you this: there is a Jewish Agenda, and it comes from our other promised land, the Silicon Valley.

Oy! Amerike ganef! I found this wonderful mama’le’s little PC helper. This is the REAL Jewish Agenda.

Oy oy oy, with this little gadget to insert the Hebrew and/or Secular date into ANY document or program, you will never again miss Kristallnacht, the anniversary of the launch of Irgun, or our annual Golders Green WIZO ladies’ bubka baking contest.

It is the ideal tool for our network of sayanim, as well as Wiki editors, Jewish professionals, rabbis, Israeli generals, settlers and Jews Against Anything and Everything.

It even includes a holiday look-up feature that helps you find the secular and Hebrew date for any Jewish holiday for the next 300 years. And as you know, our Jewish agendas always span many centuries.

It’s truly amazing that a tiny little application can be so helpful for us, the Jewish people, yet of zero significance to anyone else.

United Against Everybody! Let the Chosen lead.

Babka cake
Kvetch
– to complain in a high whiny voice, like Mony does, when we ground him for bad behaviour
Oy! Amerike ganef!
– Those crazy Americans, what will they come up with next!
Sayanim – (Hebrew: “helpers”) Jews living outside Israel who volunteer to provide assistance to the Mossad

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