Auntie Ziona Against Auntie Simone

December 19, 2008

This is How We’re Jewish

Filed under: 9/11, Abe Foxman, AIPAC, anti-semitism, Steven Spielberg — auntieziona @ 4:05 pm

I hope Tziga’le will find the time to produce an Auntie version.

Keith from Up da Block.

November 29, 2008

Shalom Bombay

Eight people are dead in the terror attacks in Mumbai, as well as 142 goyim.

Why!? Why to kill Rabbi Holtzberg? Oi oi oi, what a man he was! Even though he could have lived in Tel Aviv or Bnel Brak or Bevely Hills or Miami if he had wanted to, Rabbi Holzberg chose to go and live among the Indians, people who have more gods than I have gefilthe fish recipes, people who let water buffalo live in their bedrooms, people whose only ambition is to jump into the Ganges river without a proper swimsuit on…
Today C and N say Rabbi Holtzberg lived among these people so that he could ‘spread Jewish pride‘ around the world and so that stoned Jewish backpacker kinderlachs had somewhere they could enjoy a bowl of hot chicken soup, without having to look at cow testicles or elephant shrines (is it a religion or a zoo?).

These terrorist Arab, Pakistani, Indian, Tamul Camel Tigers, whoever they are, always come with the same spiel: “Iraq, Palestine, Lebanon, yada yada yada” What about the 5000 Jews of India? Where will they eat now?

United Against Curry

Goyim – non-Jewish people, gentiles
Kinderlachs – children
Yada Yada Yada – blah blah blah

November 25, 2008

Is Saint Bibi the One we have been waiting for?

Oy vay, our Likudnik Bibi Netanyahu never misses a beat.

As America pulled off the most vunderlekh marketing campaign in history with the launch of Obambi’le in the role of Jesus Christ Superstar, and managed to rebrand itself as well as “wipe the slate clean”, our koisher politicians in Israel have been watching and learning.

“No shmate,” Bibi’le thought to himself, “if good public relations can make a presidential saint out of an ordinary shabbat goy with a dodgy background, maybe I can come out of the election looking like the Messiah! Wiping the slate clean would be so nice…”

Our Bibi, who recently called for the islamofascist president of Iran to be tried for genocide at The Hague, saying: “We must cry Gevalt before the entire world,” is most well known for stating in 2001 that the 9/11 Twin Tower attacks were “very good”:

Asked tonight what the attack meant for relations between the United States and Israel, Benjamin Netanyahu, the former prime minister, replied, ”It’s very good.” Then he edited himself: ”Well, not very good, but it will generate immediate sympathy.”

Nu shoin, so after giving his website a massive face lift to make it look like a mirror of Obambi’s,

Copycat Bibi’le also decided to put two of our best mishpokhe in charge of his upcoming election campaign, and recruited Bill Knapp and Josh Isay, the hasbara strategists who stage-managed Obambi’s record-breaking campaign after first cutting their teeth on promoting Mikhael’le Bloomberg and Senator Joe’le Lieberman.

I’ve heard that Bill Knapp has advised Bibi to keep working on his tan for now, and is already unearthing startling evidence of Bibi’s paternal roots in Ethiopia, as well as his ties to the Jewish saints of Morocco.

And with Josh “DoubleClick” Isay at the helm, our Benyamin won’t even have to use his messianic intuition to access, without their permission, the personal details and private information of visitors to his site.

Good luck Bibi’le, and as my bobeshi used to say, Ez men est khazer zol rinen ariber der bord – If you’re going to eat pork, eat the best kind.

United Against Terrorism!

vunderlekh – wonderful
no shmate
no shit
shabbat goy – the gentile employed in a Jewish household on the Sabbath-day to perform services which are religiously forbidden to Jews on that day

gevalt – an expression of dismay
– family, kin, can also mean “crime family”
hasbara – a word encompassing information as well as propaganda
bobeshi – granny

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