Auntie Ziona Against Auntie Simone

December 1, 2008

An Anti-Semitic Joke


One sunny day in 2009 an old man approached the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue, where he’d been sitting on a park bench. He spoke to the U.S. Marine standing guard and said, “I would like to go in and meet with President Bush.”

The Marine looked at the man and said, “Sir, Mr. Bush is no longer president and no longer resides here.” The old man said, “Okay” and walked away.

The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, “I would like to go in and meet with President Bush.” The Marine again told the man, “Sir, as I said yesterday, Mr. Bush is no longer president and no longer resides here.” The man thanked him and, again, just walked away.

The third day, the same man approached the White House and spoke to the very same U. S. Marine, saying “I would like to go in and meet with President Bush.” The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and said, “Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to Mr. Bush. I’ve told you already that Mr. Bush is no longer the president and no longer resides here. Don ‘t you understand?” The old man looked at the Marine and said, “Oh, I understand. I just love hearing it.

The Marine snapped to attention, saluted and said,” See you tomorrow Sir”.

United Against Humour

November 24, 2008

Kosher Harakiri

Oi, I can’t wait! I have tickets for the new Holocaust musical in the Vest End! It is set in the Warsaw Ghetto, but the characters put on a play within a play about Masada, the fortress where 960 Jews did a kosher Harakiri just to put off the Romans. So I get two tragedies for the price of one! This is very helpful during a credit crunch.

Oi, and there is one song that goes:
“The weather’s a stinker
We’re bound for Treblinka
But in only a blink of an eye
We’ll be flying in the sky
You and me-e-e-e!
Our spirits soa-oaring
Forever free!”

I know I will come out with the CD, the T shirt and the Holocaust education pack they give you. But I am worried because the Times said one poor person in the audience went to see it and couldn’t stop vomiting for three hours. But it was probably the gefilthe fish he had that was too old. Plus if you go on public transport, the goyim carry so many germs! Certainly it can’t be the scene where they crucify a Christian slave on stage while singing kletzmar songs that made him sick!?

United Against Music

August 1, 2008

Jew-U-Wish Upon A Star?

Filed under: Anti-Semistism, anti-semite, anti-semites, Nazis, retribution, shoah, Zionists — auntieziona @ 4:26 pm

Oi! These Germans are meshugas! Look at this cartoon. It proves it. They are mad. First it shows a 1 little tiny little poor Jew pillaging the land. Then it shows little Yiddish fairies penetrating books, theatres, factories, banks, buildings of commerce. Are these Germans on drugs? Do they think all Jewish men are poofty fairies?

That reminds me I must chase up my retribution claim forms….

June 5, 2008

Gentile Grief

Filed under: anti-semite, Gentile, German, Jews, Muslims, Nazis, shoah — auntieziona @ 1:43 pm

A Poem by Auntie Simone
Dear Auntie Ziona,
What shall I do,
I came out a gentile,
And not as a Jew!

Dear lesser mortal,
Your problem is grave,
But I’ve a solution
Your conscience to save.

All talk of the Jews
Will be morally wrong
Unless it resembles
Solomon’s song.

Speak of the Shoah
With awe and respect,
And not one iota
Will you reject.

Never suggest
That Jews might conspire;
If you do that
You’re playing with fire.

Israel, it’s true,
Is terribly bad,
But it’s not with the Jews
You ought to get mad.

No, it’s the West’s
Imperial dream
Which caused this trouble,
This dastardly scheme.

Remember the Jews
Are peace-loving and wise.
It’s the anti-Semite
Who this truth denies.

The Muslims are suspect,
Between you and me.
They’ve crazy beliefs
And their women aren’t free.

Seek out old Nazis
Under the bed;
Take them to court
Even if they’re half dead.

You say you’re a German,
Oi ye! oi veh!
You’d better work hard,
What more can I say?

But really the best
Would be to discover
You’re also Jewish
By your great grandmother!

United Against Racism!

May 29, 2008

Comrades help ME! (It’s all about ME, after all)

Filed under: anti-semite, jazz, Mony Gripstein, tRance, Wikipedia, YouTube, zionism — auntieziona @ 7:23 am

In the picture is the zayde of a very naughty boy.

Tante Zionushke is concerned that a few of the family members reading this might be confused. Confused? We don’t want ourselves confused, that’s not right, so I will explain for you.

First of all, family members, Mony’le and tRance can’t seem to decide if Wikispeedio is important or if it’s not. Who knows? Do you? I dunno, but I get confused and so if I do, I know you do too, my little bubelahs. They told me, but I know it too, I’m a healthy woman, it’s all about making sure that there is total control, and if that’s what ya have to use, ya use it, and so I know you do too.

Mony’le has been trained to sneer at anyone who uses Shwickypeedio as a source, (except when he’s using it, and that’s good, Mony’le… keeping them confused is what we need to do, swing back and forth… long as it’s them being confused, mein lieblein.) We saw that when he was doing his job on that dago yenta, (using the very kosher Aleph-Alef list … he changes its spelling so I don’t know what it is, but he says it’s all good and only our people are allowed on it, so I am for it, even if they are for a two states “solution”, and I hate that word! It sounds too much like final solution and now I feel sick in my stomach. Let me rest.

Oy, now I’m better. I had some Brioschi and can finish this letter to you all. Except for Mony’le and the yenta who like a big state in the holy land. The Alephoids (he used that word and it sounds alien to me, but I didn’t to study chemistry like he did, so I bow down to the wisdom that lies in the sheep’s skin) like the two states thing and that is wrong. We are all for one state, one state for all our people and this is what we are promised and it’s ours and this is why we talk about it all the time so that no one knows any more what does that mean! We are clever, and don’t you forget it!

So, Mony’le doesn’t like the Schiwikeepeedia, but tRance does like it so much he has a rented room there, and we know he’s an atheist Grandpa that likes the Jazz. We need to know these things, because family is important, but don’t tell G-d you don’t believe in him no more! He might really get back at you for it, tRancnik. Don’t even tell Inbarushke, because she believes you are the G-d and this is why she keeps to feed you nice things that she learned how to cook back in Isroel.

So, to wickey or not to wickey… you boychiks have to get yourselves on the same page. Then, keep doing what you do to distract. This is what you are there for to do.

But, what I feel sad about is tRance looking for the help in the Scots champagne people. Haggis is not kosher, tRance’le! It looks so bad to cry for help in public like that way for your own problems, when we have to do it one by one, email by email, phone call by phone call, cell by cell. What you doing to send a letter like that, that those who can’t stand you leak around? You look like the big crybaby of the year! What they have to do for you, those peoples? They have to stop all their propagandas for the Arab invaders of our holy land and then to do something special for you? tRance’le ya mossik! That isn’t good looking! You make the anti-semites to laugh at you.

It’s not about you, it’s about the land, the people, the freedom and our good names as a people, which you always remember to say you belong to. Don’t make them to laugh you out of the town! Wise up! This is a little good advice from me and you better listen up and be good, because you spend so much of time as it is with the jazz player’s Webby Page that maybe no body even goes to read it, and time is money.

United Against Racism!

May 2, 2008

Julius vs. Gripstein

Filed under: Anthony Julius, anti-semite, Gilad Atzmon, goyim, Jews, Judaism, Julius, Princess Di — auntieziona @ 6:35 pm

I was really very concerned the other day when I read Julius’ article about Jewish anti-Zionism, Part One as well as Part Two!

Every Jewish anti-Zionist was mentioned: Ilan Papesh, Oren Ben Gore, Aki Vaor, Geraldine Rose, Bony Judt and even Goliath Azmond was there, presented as a leading figure, in spite of the fact that he unfortunately dropped out of our tribe.

So you want to know why I was really concerned? Nu shoin, I was worried because I was looking for my Mony’le, my little anarchist nephew. I was searching for his name and couldn’t even find a hint. In spite of the foict that for the last 30 years Mony’le has been purporting to be a “Jew against Zionism”, together with tRance and Potty (who is a little too frightening to link to).

Julius was so cruel not to even mention them once. It is true that no-one really likes to be associated with Mony’le because of his past, but Julius could have said just a word or two to acknowledge Mony’le’s futile effort. Julius should have known that words do not cost money – what a slap in the face!

To be snubbed by Princes Di’s lawyer must have hurt my Mony’le (always a secret royalist at heart), but perhaps he will call on tRancie and Potty to picket with him outside the Supreme Court next time Julius is having a big case. Mony loves a good picket, and it keeps him occupied, always a good thing. As my bubbe used to say, an idle brain is the devil’s workshop.

Between the Jews of us, it was very stupid of Julius to admit that Mony’le and his two pals are working for us at the Anti Z-mite Hunting Department. At the end of the day, a man has to make a living, and for a Marxist Jew, Judaism is not a religion, but an occupation.

Mony’le, you said today “There are a few people who have illusions that…. Gilad Atzmon is an anti-Zionist.”

You are right, my Mony’le – they are called Goyim, and we don’t like them at all.

United Against Racism

April 19, 2008

Only a Goy can be such a fool

This Jimmy Cunter really learned his lesson in Heretz Isroel this week. He thought that because he was once President of America, he could tell the Jews what to do and how to do it.
I tell you, this anti-semite president Cunter lives in the past. Nowadays the American Presidents all know that it is the Jews who tell them what to do rather than the other way around. We are telling them what to do not because we are that clever or rich. It is just because we have a plan for this world. We always had a plan for humanity to offer while the Goyim have none. We invented almighty G_d, we invented the church, we came up with socialism and later with liberalism and even this Freud, who tells people what they think for real, was one of us.
Yes, there is one thing we didn’t invent, it is called Islam and you can all see what a mess it is. I tell you, if I never hear another word of Arabic in my life, it will be too soon! In our Jewish world we always know who are the baddies and who are the goodies. We always know who is Koisher and who are the devils. And guess what, we always know how to get others to fight the devils. We are a very simple act to follow. And most importantly, we are associated with wisdom and success, so people really like to be around us. Except this idiotic Jew-hater Jimmy Cunter.
Even this new joker Barak Obambi, who pretended to be a hard nut to crack, is now begging for us to tell him what to do. He even stood up against his Veteran president a day ago, denouncing him talking to those terrorists who plan to bring a new shoah on our innocent people in Isroel.
Look at this anti-semite Cunter, what is it that he wants? He says that he wants to bring peace and hope to the Middle East. If he was as clever as he claims to be, he would understand that our people’s hope doesn’t live in peace with anyone else’s hope. This Goy Jimmy believes that peace should be made by both parties. Let me tell you, only a Goy can be such a fool.We don’t believe in a dialogue. We believe in stick and carrot. We believe in lobbying, we believe in ourselves. We believe that our G_d will punish our enemies when we tell him to do so. Just because our G_d knows that if he fails to provide the goods, we can always dump him and invent a new one.

Together Against Racism!

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