Auntie Ziona Against Auntie Simone

January 17, 2009

Madoff Bris Today

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , , — auntieziona @ 4:02 pm
United against the gonif!

January 16, 2009

This Is How We’re Jewish

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , , , , — auntieziona @ 4:08 pm

View at this link

United Against Humanism

January 15, 2009

Has Hamas taken over South America?

Oy, these meshugeneh espanol socialists really don’t like us.

And with all that hot blood flowing in their veins, they won’t even queue for my chicken soup recipe.

Someone should take them aside and tell them that Marxism and Bolshevism is a Jewish thing, they cannot just take it from us without giving something in return. And I’m not talking about a handful of coca leaves to chew on in public.

For one thing it wouldn’t be kosher.

United against South America

Meshugeneh — a crazy person

January 14, 2009

Kosher Mass Murderers

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , , , , , , — auntieziona @ 4:16 pm

Oi my Got, our Foix news has been saying that A 3-year-old boy named Adolf Hitler and his two Nazi-named younger sisters were removed from their New Jersey home last week and placed in state custody, police said.”

But now I read on JC that Papa’le and Mama’le Campbell have come up with a new plan to bring children into the world, thanks Got. They learned their lesson, so they say.

From now on they will call their kids after kosher mass murderers.

United against the Nazis

January 13, 2009

Olmert Gives Condi a Good Frosk

Oy gevalt, our swartze shiksa in the Blue and White House momentarily forgot her place last week, and I am so yappy that our Ehud’le Olmert taught her a good lesson.

Condi’le perhaps thought that with almost a thousand goyim in Goyza already exterminated, her record in Fallujah was in danger of being beaten by us, the Jewish people, and so she decided to vote along with all the other UN shmeggegies to end the genocide.

She must have forgotten about the demographic problem Israel is dealing with here, not to mention the fact that our IDF is doing Americe a big favour by testing out all those new weapons.

Ehud’le had to bring Condi down to size very quickly with a good frosk.

“She was left shamed,” said our Prime Minestrone about Condi’le Noodle. “A resolution that she prepared and arranged, and in the end she did not vote in favour.”
Oy, our Olmert is such a shimshon der giber, even with Bush he doesn’t save his words.
“I said, ‘Get me President Bush on the phone”. They said he was in the middle of giving a speech in Philadelphia. I said he didn’t care. ‘I need to talk to him now’. He got off the podium and spoke to me.”

This is our Jewish power. It is called chutzpah. It means we can get away with everything and anything we want to do.

Hopefully our incoming goyim at the Blue and White House will take this as a good reminder about who makes the important decisions.

United against insubordination

– unmitigated gall, brazanness beyond imagination.
Fosk – a sharp slap in the face.
Oy! Gevalt! – An expression of dismay. Ach! Heaven forbid!
Shiksa – a goy woman.
Shmeggegie (shmeh-geg-gee) – a doofus, an idiot, a silly, foolish dolt. A hapless fool who’s maybe not quite playing with a full deck. There’s a whiff of emotional instability about such a person.
Shimshon der giber
– arrogant son of a bitch

January 12, 2009

“We Want Peace”

Filed under: Uncategorized — auntieziona @ 8:48 pm

Guest Post by Auntie’s nephew, David’le Taub.

There couldn’t have been a clearer contrast between yesterday’s rally for Hamas and today’s event for peace in both Israel and Gaza.

While today was a celebration of 4000 Chosens, yesterday was a march of 100 000 idiotic ordinary humanists.

In place of the racist posters, calibrated to taunt Jews with their mass murder at the hands of that Nazi who was himself a Jew by origin, and was behaving like an Israeli, we had posters calling for Peace for the People of Israel and Gaza, nothwithstanding our ability to kill a hundred Goyzans a day, shoin.

I took along my camera, hoping to capture a picture of one of our supporters burning the Palestinian flag, but gevalt, no such luck.

Oy oy oy, some of our wonderful Jewish people had even made their own posters. They said things like this:

Indeed, from now on, the rest of the world will happen to be our victims.

Trafalgar Square was full to capacity, and for some bizarre reason it smelled like garlic and gefilte fish.

Even though there had been rumours that the British people were starting to show signs of a real fatigue of us and the crimes against humanity we happen to support, there were a sea of British and Israeli flags, as well as stalls selling hot chicken soup and I love Sderot t-shirts and mugs.

A Lubavitcher turned up with a bunch of tefilin, and circulated in the crowd trying to get them to tie the little boxes to his head. When asked, I politely declined. I mean, it is a little silly, isn’t it? Just to show you that I, Davidle Taub, a notorious islamophobe, is actually a liberated Jew cosmopolitan secular, who for some reason ended up in the circumcised cyber world.

Some of the Hamas supporters who frequent this blog have suggested that the neo-Nazi British National Party would turn up to this march. They’ll suggest that the presence of this country’s flag, the Union Jack, is evidence that they were there.

Well, I made a point of chatting to those with Union Jacks, and asking them if they were BNP members or supporters. This is what they had to say:

“They say WHAT? But we fight against the BNP!”

In spite of the fact that very much like the BNP, we are racist to the bone, and we hide behind symbols and flags. We are against the BNP, but we are for the JNF (Jewish National Front).

“We took both flags to the demonstration, because we’re proud to be British, as long as Brown supports our little Israel”

“The BNP have no right to our Union Jack. We’re taking it back, so that Lord Cash Machine Levy can take care of the rest!”

So, how were things in the pro-Hamas counter demonstration? Small, noisy and fanatical and if you ask me, we’d better start seeking shelter.

Note Jews for Justice for Palestinians, standing literally shoulder to shoulder with the supporters of not one, but two, theocratic terrorist groups.

Which means that their sense of Justice is far too universal for Jews, so why do they call themselves Jews?

And the newly formed International Jewish Anti-Zionist Network (aka Messrs. Rance and Greenstein), right next to a demonstrator with their pro-Hezbollah placard.

And while the jihadists and communists chanted their message of hate at our demonstration, the crowd chanted back:

“We Want Peace”.

But before we achieve it, we may have to continue raining down white phosphorus on these mishuggah Palestinians, until they learn to obey.

United Against The Universe

Mishuggah (mish-shug-uh) – crazy, nuts

January 11, 2009

Will Barak Follow in Eichmann’s Footsteps?

Oy, so many wild dreams I’ve been having these days, probably because of this war against the mishuggah hamasniks.Last night, my dream was set in the future, which is very strange because we, the Jewish people, usually fantasize solely about the past.

Oi ever, this dream was set in something like 2020. Ehud’le Barak, Tzipi’le Livni, Shimon’le Peres and Ehud’le Olmert were seeking shelter overseas because of the War Crimes Tribunal. The mishuggenahs in the Hague were blaming them for crimes against humanity, can you believe this narishkeit? When all they did was to kill some arabs.
In my dream, Barak was captured in NYC, schlepping refrigerators and sofas for an Israeli moving company. This is what many Israelis do in Americe once they finish their military service.

Tzipi’le was arrested in Buenos Aires, posing as an art student and running an S & M brothel on the side, Olmert’le was discovered managing a kosher abattoir in Brooklyn, and Peres was found running a euthanasia center in the dungeons of Windsor Castle.

These hamasnik agents captured them all. In my dream, Ehud’le was put in a hand’le suitcase because he is very, very small like Napoleon, and brought back to Goyza to face justice. Barak said in his defence that he was just “following orders” just like this farshluggineh, Adolf Eichmann.

Oi, i was so worried for Ehud’le. I tossed and I turned in my bed. Nu shoin, they were about to execute him and burn him like Eichmann! I knew that for Eichmann we had built a special big oven, but for Ehud’le all they would need is a medium sized microwave, which they would be able to reuse afterwards.

At 6 am, I woke up sweating and read on Ynet that Israel is still alive and is even still killing its neighbours, so I relaxed and made myself a kleine coffee, which I had with a nice apfel shtrudel.

United against the goyim

Mishuggah (mish-shug-uh) – crazy, nuts

Narishkeit (nar-ish-kite) – foolishness (a nar is a fool) “An artist, you want to be? Never mind this narishkeit! Better you should go to college and get a real job!”
Farshluggineh (far-shlug-in-ah) – crazy mixed up, wacky and worthless.
Shlep – haul, carry, drag, either something or oneself. “I feel naked if I’m not shlepping at least 15 bags.”

January 9, 2009

An Israeli Joke Overheard in Blooms…

Oy, yesterday in Blooms I heard a horrible Israeli joke:

The Israeli optimists learn Arabic….

The Israeli pessimists study English…..

And the Israeli realists practice swimming.

United against the goyim!

January 7, 2009

Obama’s Message to Goyza

Nu shoin, we are so pleased with the way our Obambi is maintaining his silence on the subject of Goyza, and cooperating with his handler in the Blue and White House, our Rahm’le Emanuel.

He doesn’t give us any tsuris and is really turning out to be the perfect goy golem. He knows it’s in his interests to start off with a clean slate, and just let the outgoing alta kocker handle any fallout from the Goyza operation as his last favour to Israel, if he can stay sober long enough to do so.

Rahm’le told our Obambi’le not to worry about UN interference in the operation, and to just focus on his golf handicap during his holiday. “Nu, this is what we need you to do, Obambi. Take a long break in the Pacific with your shikze and two lovely little kinderlach over the festive season.

“Whatever happens with Yisrael, just keep looking the other way. Your spiel will be that there can only be one Achasverosh at a time, and all you have to do is repeat what you said in July

‘If somebody was sending rochalachs into my house, where my kinders sleep at night, I’m going to do everything in my power to stop that,” you must say. “And I would expect the Israelis to do the same thing.’

“If some wise guy asks you what you would do if somebody was sending mortar kugalach or cluster bombalach into the house where your daughters sleep at night, just give the signal to our men to Taser the provocateur. Same if you’re asked what you would do if you were living under a starvation siege like a shoa muscleman and your kleine meidales were shot in their classrooms.

“Obambi’le, take it from Rahm, just keep your mouth shut and enjoy the surf.”

United against the rokalach!

Achasverosh – POTUS
Alta kocker – literally, an old shit; an old operator
Golem – an artificial creature created from mud by a rabbi using magic, endowed with supernatural strength and used to further the goals of its creator. The most famous was made by Rabbi Loew in the 16th century to defend the Jews of Prague from a pogrom.
Kinders – children
Meidales – little sweeties
Goy – a gentile, someone not Chosen
Rokalach – rockets
Sayan – our diaspora operatives who work with the Mossad
Shiksa — a goy woman, not one of the Chosen
Shoah muscleman – the name given to skinny survivors in the camps
Shpiel – a story, a sales pitch, a speech. “Don’t give me the whole shpiel. Just tell me how much this is going to cost me.”
Tsuris — Troubles, but not just any old troubles. BIG troubles, like those of Bernie’le Madoff.

January 6, 2009

Brave IDF Soldaten Destroy UN-run Schools Sheltering Refugees

Click on image to enlarge

Oy, these Palestinian people are so naive, I just have to shake my head.

Did the arabs really think that they could escape our tanks and bombers after their homes were destroyed, and run to find shelter in the UN-run schools?

Nu shoin, the farcockteh hamasniks are finally finding out that there is nowhere to hide.

They seem to have forgotten that the Jewnited Nations has always worked for us. Don’t they remember 1947, when the UN gave us their country, their land and their houses?

The arabs cannot even get a ceasefire resolution passed at the UN! And after sixty years of ethnic cleansing, they still don’t get it that no rules apply during war.

If you don’t believe me, ask Americe.

United Against terrorism!

Americe – the USA, where else?
Farcockteh – all fucked up. “It used to be a nice neighborhood, but now it’s all farcockt.” As an adjective, it’s “farcockteh.” “This is a farcockteh neighborhood.”
Goyisher kop – a gentile head. Said about people who don’t think like Jews. Jews think ahead, analyzing each situation, postulating contingency plans for every possible tragic outcome.

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