Auntie Ziona Against Auntie Simone

November 3, 2008

The Mony Magical Trip

Filed under: Ian Saville, magicians, Marc Maron, Mony Gripstein, Toys-R-Us, Tziga'le — auntieziona @ 5:42 pm

My Mony isn’t doing well at all, and I’ve been worried about him. He sits alone in his room all day, spending hours playing with the dreidel Uncle Shlommi gave him when he turned three, even though it’s not yet Chanuka.

I made him some kreplach with chopped meat, onions and a bissell shmaltz served in chicken soup to cheer him up, but nothing seems to work.

Oy oy oy, thank goodness Tziga’le, my neighbor and a real mentsh, is back from Israel where he took part in a wonderful contest to commemorate Sir Paul’s visit… more about that later this week.

Tziga’le is always ready with ideas to cheer up Mony, and when he saw the state my poor nephew was in, he whipped out his collection of Jewish Magician Shows, and let Mony choose two to keep himself entertained till bedtime.

Mrs Mendelsohn and her daughter Rachel have promised to take him on an outing to Toys-R-Us tomorrow, so at least that should take care of activities for the morning. It’s nice to see him a little bit excited again, and he’s already chosen his outfit for tomorrow, including a bright red jersey to contrast nicely with the blue and white of the ribbon he got from the Israeli Embassy and T’Ranci’le.

If you and your little ones want to watch the magician shows in solidarity with Mony’le this evening, here they are:

Ian Saville, Socialist Magician

Marc Maron hails the great Jewish magicians of all time

United Against the Goyim, especially Auntie Simone!

July 7, 2008

Saving Private Tziga’le

Filed under: Arabs, ET, Jewish power, Jews, Private Ryan, Spielberg, Spilberg, Tziga'le — auntieziona @ 4:34 pm

The Arabs, they really think they can throw us to the sea. They tell about us that we don’t like water. But the truth of the matter is entirely different. Not only do we like water, we even love soap.

Oi-ever, Tziga’le is now studying with film melumad, Yanka’le Spilberg. Tziga’le told me he loves Oi T. He is very impressed with his home-coming project.

He loves as well Saving Private Ryan, especially because of the Foinal scene where you see all the big grave yard with so many crosses and not a single Star of David. He says, this is our Jewish power, where everybody dies to save us, while we just sit and watch.

Tziga’le is preparing now his foinal project for Spilberg. Arabs and anti semites, sit and watch, do not even consider throwing us to the sea…..

United Against Racism!

June 30, 2008

Jackie Mason Talks the Peace

Oi would you check out this clip?! The way Jackie Mason spits whenever he says the word ‘Arab’ is beautiful! Such grace, such eloquence, such poignancy. The man is so Jewish he manages to speak in a Noo Joy-zee accent even though he is from Wisconsin. That takes some doing! It is like sounding like a Glaswegian if you were born in the Golan Heights. Such talent. I wonder did he study acting with Lee Strasboyg?

Now it seems that Mr Mason (who I admit I have a slight crush on) is not just a comedian. He is a historian too. But he has a few little glitches to iron out. He tells us ‘Not only do the Arabs (spit) not belong there (spit) but they were never there in the first place. (dribble) They never existed as a people or as an entity.’

Oi this is wonderful news. But then he tells us that the Palestinians were originally persecuted by Syria & Jordan & that’s how they came to live on our land. He says ‘Many of them were annihilated, so how come they don’t ask for anything in return?’

Good question. When someone murders my family I want to be offered a cash alternative.

I tell you, the whole thing stinks like a gefilte fish that’s been left in the fridge for 3 days because you had to rush out to recue T’ziga’le from the Police station again and you forgot to clean it out.

United Against Racism!

June 20, 2008

Chaplin’s Kristal Nacht Kid

Filed under: anti-semitism, Charlie Chaplin, Hollywood, Jews, Kristal Nacht, The Kid, Tziga'le, zionism — auntieziona @ 12:17 pm

Hoy, my neighbour kinder Tziga’le, he has some big ambitions. He wants to go Hollywood. I told him Hollywood is too far and the Holy Land would be far better. But he wants to be Metro Goldween Meyer or at least Chaimke Schpilberg. I told him, if he wants to be like Chaimke Shpilberg or Moisha’le Filini, he will have to learn from people like Yossa’le Scorsese.

So now he takes film classes in the shul near the Yeshiva on Sundays. They have a young Rabbi named Yanka’le Polanski who teaches them how to make musical films about the Shoa and our suffering. Last week they learned about Charlie Chaplin and his hidden Zionist message. In case you didn’t know, Charlie was working for us. Because he was so clever, everyone was sure that he was a true humanist.

You look at this film and judge for yourself. And take it from Auntie, instead of popcorn and coca cola, you’d better get some hot fresh rogalch from the nearby deli.

United Against Everyone

June 16, 2008

Nu, I am a Kazoo!

Filed under: Israel, Jews, Kazoo, Tziga'le, WISO, zionism — auntieziona @ 3:07 pm

Despite recent developments, Tziga’le’s creative juices are overflowing. He spent the weekend creating this lyrical video clip about us, the musical people of Israoel.

Oy Vey, at the moment he is gearing up to meet the challenge posed by the delegation of sayanim who paid him a visit in the middle of the night, which I will write more about when I have strengthened myself after the WIZO ladies buffet lunch, where Tziga’le will be our special guest speaker…

United Against Racism!

June 11, 2008

My Father was a Jew, my mother was a Jew, and I am a Jew

Filed under: Jews, Loo, Sayan 007.01, shoah, tRance, Tziga'le — auntieziona @ 5:58 am
Oi Tziga’le, meine Tziga’le is such a Meshigine. He loves his people so much that he just cannot stop making films about us.

The other day he was so upset when that noodlik, Sayan tRance 007.01, insisted on publicly giving all the credit for Tziga’le’s latest video clips to those devils, Atzmond, Finkelstein, Carter and Gibsoin.

Poor Tzigale was sitting at home crying on his bed for most of the day, picturing his long-awaited Oscar flying out the window. All the family was worried, the boy didn’t eat or drink for 24 hours, and kept threatening to go into the desert for forty days, where he would be “more appreciated”! When he did talk, it was about grim subjects, the Shoah, the Massada, his hurt at not being invited to little Avraham Levy’s Bar Mitzvah, and the rising price of cheese blintzes at Blooms.

But then I popped over with a dozen rogalches and a sufgania that was left in the freezer from Hannuka. One rogale and my creative genius cheered up, and showed me his new anti-racist cinematic pinnacle which embraces as its subject matter the crucial topic of cleanliness, something very close to Jewish hearts. He opened his arms wide while discussing his latest piece, in a manner which suggested the inclusion of all things both Hygienic and Jewish, such as the Bris, keeping a Kosher kitchen, and let’s not forget, the ethnic cleansing of what some like to call Palestine.

Believe me comrades, as Mony’le says, it really doesn’t matter who you are and what you are, a Jew, a loo, a Kazoo with a tattoo, as long as you ain’t an Arab or the BNP, vey zmir.

United Against Racism!

May 28, 2008

tRance Pleads with the Left for a Political Response

Filed under: Mony Gripstein, Scottish PSC, tRance, Tziga'le, Wiki, Wikipedia, YouTube, zionism, Zionists — auntieziona @ 4:47 pm

Oy Vey. Our man at Wikipedia, dear tRance’le, is falling apart and really starting to grasp at straws now.

My darling nephew, Mony Gripstein, just drew my attention to an appeal posted at his blog from tRance’le, where he gives credit to that horrible Gilad Atzmond for the beautiful video clips about tRancie, which my neighbour Tziga’le has spent months creating. Of course Tziga’le is very upset about tRancie’s ingratitide.

But not only that, tRancie is even appealing to all the schmucks on the Palestine Solidarity Movement to make some sort of a “political response” against Atzmond, who he believes is the creative genius behind these visual gems about our tRancie!! And he is besides himself with angst that they are all laughing at him, instead of responding to his appeal.

Seemingly, our favorite Sayan 007.01 Roland tRance is feeling the heat from every possible direction. Rumour has it that at a meeting of the Scottish PSC on Monday night, they reached a unanimous agreement that the SPSC will not endorse tRancie’s “abusive language” being posted on their discussion board. According to Mony’le, this cold-hearted decision was apparently made in response to our tRancie’s heartfelt e-mail to the Scottish PSC.

Nu Shoin, no one should be taken by surprise. The Scots do not love us at all.

Old Mrs Goldstein has promised to accompany tRancie to Doctor Schweinemann’s practise later today to see if his prescription can be changed a little bit, to help him get a grip.

If there is anyone out there who can help our tRancie deal with becoming famous and beloved to our Zionist brethren everywhere, please leave a comment or get in touch with us privately.
Oi ever, here is the comment from tRance’le on Mony’s site, with comments by me in Zionist Blue….

RRance said…
My dear comrades at azvsas, something terrible is happening to me…

I am SO upset. After opening my heart and posting on the Scottish PSC message board all my fears and angst about the YouTube videos making such a terrible exposure of my work at Wikipedia, they are ignoring me, and worse still, laughing at me. I appealed for their support, solidarity and a united political response from the Left….and instead I have become the joke of the Palestine Solidarity Movement.

The antisemitic piece of filth Gilad Atzmon has now gone beyond all reasonable bounds. He has posted scores of abusive videos about me on YouTube and elsewhere

Auntie Ziona says: It really hurts me and our Tziga’le to see that Azmond is being given credit for Tzigale’s cinematic talent.

, denouncing me as a Zionist and an agent of the Israeli Mossad.

Auntie Ziona says: Oi, tRancie, you are so confused, my little liebe…what is so wrong about being a Mossad agent?! Since you are operating as a Sayan, you should be proud about it… To us all, you are a real hero!

Some of them have even been posted under my own name.

Auntie Ziona says: This is not nice, but I am sure that this can be amended. Tziga’le was probably sure that as a Zionist Wikiman who operates under very many names and vandalises so many entries simultaneously, you would not have found the time to take care of YouTube posting, and he did not want you to feel left out when it came to the credits.

The videos are now being linked to and copied by hate sites across the world — for instance, by David Duke.

Auntie Ziona says: oi, this is indeed oi rible, do you mean David Duke, the right-wing Nazi devil, a real enemy of Zion? No wonder you are so upset, darlink tRancie. Oi vey, we have to do something about this!

Atzmon has also posted videos abusing other anti-Zionist Jews, including Tony Greenstein,

Auntie Ziona says: Surely you mean Mony Gripstein? I wonder why do they call him Tony, rather than Mony’le.

…Charlie Pottins and Mark Elf.

Auntie Ziona says: Oi, tRancie, it isn’t the stinky Atzmond, it is the beautiful Tziga’le, and as far as Ziona and the Ladies of Wizo were aware, we were actually praising all the work you had done for the Jewish Nation and Abe’le Foxman. And we always remember that you and Charlie and Elfie are all united against racism, which is so important for us.

This really leads one to question whose interest he is serving.

Auntie Ziona says: As far as Tziga’le is concerned, we know exactly who is it that he is serving, and so do you, my little liebe, since you are both serving the same master. For which we salute you.

But I don’t know how best to respond to this. I have contacted You Tube, whose response has been to “restrict” some of the videos — ie, to prevent anyone in Britain from viewing them.

Auntie Ziona says: Oi vey, this is no good at all because our tRancie believes in World Revoultion and he knows at least another two Jewish workers (also babysitters) over the sea.

But this is clearly not enough — the videos are libellous and maliciously false,

Auntie Ziona says: tRancie, do not go there my schatzie, why do you try to tell everybody that you don’t work for us?

…they damage my reputation wherever they are seen, and they could easily lead to physical threats against me.

Auntie Ziona says: From who, dear tRancie? Certainly not from the Mossad, who have nothing but praise for you. Your reputation as a Zionist Wikiman was already wonderful before Tziga’le took you under his wing… but now it is truly formidible. You should be happy for this.

And I spoke last night with Liz Davies, whose advice was basically that a libel action, even if successful, could cost thousands of pounds and ruin my life for several years.

In any case, a political response is needed here. Particularly since Atzmon is still taken seriously by parts of the left and the solidarity movement. Ths SWP maintains links with him (although for the first time in several years, he is not scheduled to take part in Marxism this year), and he spoke at a meeting of Exeter PSC last week. …So I am asking comrades for any advice about stemming and defeating this wave of vile personal, political and racist abuse which I am facing, I hope to start a discussion about how we oppose this tendency (of which Atzmon is the most egregious example, though unfortunately he is not alone), and I am appealing for your support and solidarity in confronting this harassment, which is clearly intended to destroy my political credibility……..

Auntie Ziona says: But tRancie, I think you are pulling our legs a little bit here, and I understand you do not want the Goyim to find out about your Wiki work for the Chosen People… but how can you give that Atzmond all the credit for building up your beautiful reputation with creative gems like these clips Tziga’le has spent so much time making? Tziga’le is sitting in tears here at my kitchen table, and asking me to beg you for the evidence that the creative genius behind the clips is that vile Atzmond. Can you please give explain to him why you are suspecting Atzmond, who as far as we know, is too busy making music and writing articles to help the Palestinians, and in any case does not have what it takes to produce cinematic work of such subtlety and grandeur.

Roland
Takhia Filastin!

Post script by Auntie Ziona: tRancie, the solution is for you to come with me and Mony to synagogue this Friday night. Come back to the stable, my sweet boy. Mrs. Goldstein’s daughter, Rachel, has offered to give you a lift so you do not have to walk there yourself in your present condition. United we will overcome.

United Against Racism!

May 7, 2008

We stand up against anti-semitic censorship!

Filed under: anti-semitic, Jews, tRance, Tziga'le, Wikipedia, YouTube — auntieziona @ 11:02 am

Mony’s friend tRancie was so upset about YouTube removing him from their gallery of stars recently. We assured him it has nothing to do with the way he looks, and that they probably just don’t like Jews. After his second helping of cheescake, he pulled himself together and went next door to ask my talented neighbour, Tziga’le Cinemazky, to put together a mini-clip with just the most important information, which can be seen below. Not to worry, tRancie, we will stand united all the way against anti-semitic censorship!

Important Update: After some of my chicken soup, tRancie was filled with renewed vigour, and informed Tziga’le and me that he intends to flood the internet with the original full-length clip. This afternoon he managed to break through the fascist censors and his efforts can be seen here.

United Against racism!

May 6, 2008

The Auntie Ziona Jewish Film Festival

Filed under: clips, film, Jewish, racism, Tziga'le, YouTube — auntieziona @ 2:40 pm
My next door neighbour Tziga’le Cinemazky is so clever with his YouTube clips. He really knows how to get the right message across. He is so united against racism that he can hardly see anyone or anything else.

From time to time, I find it hard to follow his message because he is so clever, but somehow he always warms my heart. I look at his clips and feel the same special pride I felt after the Six Days War.

Here is Tziga’le’s latest:

United Against Racism

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