Auntie Ziona Against Auntie Simone

December 6, 2008

Alex Widmer obituary: the Masada lives on!


Auntie joins together with everybody important in the whole world to say Kaddish for Alex Widmer, the knocker at that Beautiful Swiss Chalet otherwise known as the Julius Baer private bank. Like the Masada before him, he went bravely to his end.

Nisht do gedachet, maybe Widmer was overreacting a bissel to the Wikileaks expose and the coming disclosure of the tax evasion plan at the Cayman Islands which is likely to drag a few more million down the debt hole, but what’s a few more million?

Remember, his bank was the one that took care of the assets of our six million brothers and sisters who died in the Shoah, and I bet they didn’t make a penny on it!

They aren’t any schlockmeisters, and he was young, oi so young was our Alex’le.

Masada
– a fortress in the desert where Jews happened to commit suicide collectively, like lemmings
kaddish – like a requiem, but with no music and and no lyrics
knocker – head honcho
nisht do gedachet! – G-d Forbid!!
bissel – a little
Shoah – our great moment in history
shlockmeisters – con artists

November 24, 2008

Kosher Harakiri

Oi, I can’t wait! I have tickets for the new Holocaust musical in the Vest End! It is set in the Warsaw Ghetto, but the characters put on a play within a play about Masada, the fortress where 960 Jews did a kosher Harakiri just to put off the Romans. So I get two tragedies for the price of one! This is very helpful during a credit crunch.

Oi, and there is one song that goes:
“The weather’s a stinker
We’re bound for Treblinka
But in only a blink of an eye
We’ll be flying in the sky
You and me-e-e-e!
Our spirits soa-oaring
Forever free!”

I know I will come out with the CD, the T shirt and the Holocaust education pack they give you. But I am worried because the Times said one poor person in the audience went to see it and couldn’t stop vomiting for three hours. But it was probably the gefilthe fish he had that was too old. Plus if you go on public transport, the goyim carry so many germs! Certainly it can’t be the scene where they crucify a Christian slave on stage while singing kletzmar songs that made him sick!?

United Against Music

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