Auntie Ziona Against Auntie Simone

November 25, 2008

Is Saint Bibi the One we have been waiting for?

Oy vay, our Likudnik Bibi Netanyahu never misses a beat.

As America pulled off the most vunderlekh marketing campaign in history with the launch of Obambi’le in the role of Jesus Christ Superstar, and managed to rebrand itself as well as “wipe the slate clean”, our koisher politicians in Israel have been watching and learning.

“No shmate,” Bibi’le thought to himself, “if good public relations can make a presidential saint out of an ordinary shabbat goy with a dodgy background, maybe I can come out of the election looking like the Messiah! Wiping the slate clean would be so nice…”

Our Bibi, who recently called for the islamofascist president of Iran to be tried for genocide at The Hague, saying: “We must cry Gevalt before the entire world,” is most well known for stating in 2001 that the 9/11 Twin Tower attacks were “very good”:

Asked tonight what the attack meant for relations between the United States and Israel, Benjamin Netanyahu, the former prime minister, replied, ”It’s very good.” Then he edited himself: ”Well, not very good, but it will generate immediate sympathy.”

Nu shoin, so after giving his website a massive face lift to make it look like a mirror of Obambi’s,

Copycat Bibi’le also decided to put two of our best mishpokhe in charge of his upcoming election campaign, and recruited Bill Knapp and Josh Isay, the hasbara strategists who stage-managed Obambi’s record-breaking campaign after first cutting their teeth on promoting Mikhael’le Bloomberg and Senator Joe’le Lieberman.

I’ve heard that Bill Knapp has advised Bibi to keep working on his tan for now, and is already unearthing startling evidence of Bibi’s paternal roots in Ethiopia, as well as his ties to the Jewish saints of Morocco.

And with Josh “DoubleClick” Isay at the helm, our Benyamin won’t even have to use his messianic intuition to access, without their permission, the personal details and private information of visitors to his site.

Good luck Bibi’le, and as my bobeshi used to say, Ez men est khazer zol rinen ariber der bord – If you’re going to eat pork, eat the best kind.

United Against Terrorism!

vunderlekh – wonderful
no shmate
no shit
shabbat goy – the gentile employed in a Jewish household on the Sabbath-day to perform services which are religiously forbidden to Jews on that day

gevalt – an expression of dismay
– family, kin, can also mean “crime family”
hasbara – a word encompassing information as well as propaganda
bobeshi – granny

November 8, 2008

IDF in the White House!

Silly American shelmazels, they really thought that they could liberate themselves and get us out of their lives.

They thought that they could punish the Republicans for the Wolfowitzes and the Perles and the Adelmans and the Libbys.

They didn’t realise that within 24 hours with Obambi, they would have an IDF soldier running the White House.

This is so funny! Because of the political correctness, people are so afraid to confront our ultimate power. Consequently, we are having a non-stop party at the expense of humanity.

Obambi’s newly-appointed Moishe Gross, Rahn’le Emanual, is no doubt the real thing. He may even be the Messiah, yet I would expect him to ride a white donkey rather than a black president.

In an interview with Ma’ariv, his papa’le, Dr. Benjamin Emanuel, said he was convinced that his son’s appointment would be good for Israel. “Obviously he will influence the president to be pro-Israel… Why wouldn’t he be? What is he, an Arab? He’s not going to clean the floors of the White House.”

Nu Shoin, what you would expect of a proud father?

The American shelmazels do not understand that we are their terminal disease. They remove us from the spine, within twenty four hours they find us in the kidneys. Once they try to treat the kidneys, we settle in the brain, what they call the White House.

Oy oy oy, just one of the beautiful Israeli things our Rahm’le mentions in The Plan: Big Ideas for America, is the coming introduction of something very much like our own glorious IDF for all Americans from age 18 – 25, not only for the bagels, but also for all the kugels.

I tell you the truth, very soon the American people are going to miss Wolfowitz and Libby, because with our Emanuel in office, it is just a question of time before American war planes carry Star of David symbols.

And take it from Auntie Ziona, nothing is wrong with that! If you fight the Israeli war, why not use some Jewish symbols for decoration?

United Against The Americans!

November 5, 2008

Masel tov, Obambi, Goy of the Year!

Filed under: Barak Obama, election, Kenya, Obambi, USA — auntieziona @ 11:16 am

Congratulations… or should I say “Ponguezi”?

Today we are all Swahili!

Oi oi oi, my Obambi’le, you had all the WIZO ladies in tears last night.

We know you are good for the Jews. Let’s not forget how hard our Sarah Silverman worked to recruit some elders from Miami for you. And even our prominant zionist, Alan Darshowitz, stopped being a neocon and became your fan when he realised that you were going to win.

We always know on which side our bread is shmaltzed, and you are our man. Why should it matter if you were born in Kenya or Zululand or Congo or Hong Congo? For us, you are a mensch as long as you provide the cash and fight our wars.

Masel tov, my Obambi’le. I am spending the morning in my kitchen with Auntie Shelomi, and later we will be sending some kugel to the White House, for a nice change you can believe in!

United Against Racism!

June 5, 2008

Oi Obambi, Take Your Tongue Out…

Filed under: Barak Obama, election, Israel, USA — auntieziona @ 1:56 pm

Auntie can’t take it anymore!!!

United Against Racism!

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