Auntie Ziona Against Auntie Simone

December 19, 2008

This is How We’re Jewish

Filed under: 9/11, Abe Foxman, AIPAC, anti-semitism, Steven Spielberg — auntieziona @ 4:05 pm

I hope Tziga’le will find the time to produce an Auntie version.

Keith from Up da Block.

December 10, 2008

Is There No Business Like Shoa Business?

Filed under: "Imagine This", anti-semitism, Beth Trachtenberg, Sayanim, shoa, Warsaw Ghetto — auntieziona @ 5:31 pm

Oy, it seems that the Goyim are not buying our Shoa shmaltz anymore. Our collective victim spiel is falling on deaf ears these days.

The recently launched the Holocaust musical, ‘Imagine This’, has come to a sad little end, and will close down before Christmas. It didn’t even last a whole month!

As much as I loved it, the mishuggah goyim did not like it at all. In fact they really hated it. Apparently they refused to buy tickets, not even for one Pound. If this is not crude anti-Semitism, what would you call it? Cultural arrogance?


The producer of the show, Beth Trachtenberg, has done the right thing by shooting the messenger, something our Sayanim have been doing for years, to great success. Putting the show’s failure down to hostile previews by anti-Semitics critics, she said: “Fundamentally I do not think the critics should be making a moral judgment over the subject matter.”

Indeed, these
no-goodnik critics should never make any judgment at all unless approved by a rabbi or the Israeli embassy.

Read the words of these Islamofascists in the midst of the British press and judge for yourself:
“They said it couldn’t be done, a musical about the Warsaw Ghetto. Now I’ve seen it, I know they were right.” The Guardian

” ‘Imagine This’ must be judged as a manipulative, morally dubious show.” The Daily Telegraph

“Could it get worse than Gone With The Wind? It just did.” The Independent

Oy gevalt, Imagine This: the next thing coming could be a ban on all Jewish productions, with Jews not even being permitted to mention the Shoah on stage!

These Holocaust-denying British critics have managed to create a shondah for the goyim.

United against another Shoah!

shoa – very much like genocide, but refers to Jews only

shmaltz cheesy

collective victim spiel Being Jewish

Christmas very much like Hanukkah, but entirely dedicated to commerce and goyisher fantasies

shondah –
a shame, a pity. A “shonda for the goyim” means to do something shameful, publicly witnessed by non-Jews, thus bringing shame upon Jews in general.

no-goodnik
– A worthless piece of humanity. Someone who’s on the wrong side of the law, somebody with low morals, a trouble-maker.

mishuggah (mish-shug-uh) – crazy, nuts, loony-tunes, bats in the belfry.

December 1, 2008

An Anti-Semitic Joke


One sunny day in 2009 an old man approached the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue, where he’d been sitting on a park bench. He spoke to the U.S. Marine standing guard and said, “I would like to go in and meet with President Bush.”

The Marine looked at the man and said, “Sir, Mr. Bush is no longer president and no longer resides here.” The old man said, “Okay” and walked away.

The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, “I would like to go in and meet with President Bush.” The Marine again told the man, “Sir, as I said yesterday, Mr. Bush is no longer president and no longer resides here.” The man thanked him and, again, just walked away.

The third day, the same man approached the White House and spoke to the very same U. S. Marine, saying “I would like to go in and meet with President Bush.” The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and said, “Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to Mr. Bush. I’ve told you already that Mr. Bush is no longer the president and no longer resides here. Don ‘t you understand?” The old man looked at the Marine and said, “Oh, I understand. I just love hearing it.

The Marine snapped to attention, saluted and said,” See you tomorrow Sir”.

United Against Humour

September 28, 2008

Aunties Open Letter to Sarah Silverman

Dear Sarah’le

When I saw your new film clip I told Mony’le to pack our suitcases & head for Denmark because these goyam will want to kill us all. Even despite the rising cost of british gas.

See more Sarah Silverman videos at Funny or Die

I know that you are on anti-depressents so you are obviously slightly fragile. But please please please leave suicide to the palestinains and this meshigine bin loiden. It is our job, as jews, to induce suicide in other people, not practice it ourselves. And Sarah’le what you did in your film is very dangerous for us all. Poor Mony’le is making a cup of tea right now wearing his gatkes and a gas mask made of Schnizel.. He is terrified & it is your fault.

Now, it is true that jews should vote for this black man who loves israel. We all know that he is the best one for us. But why not just send an annonimous email? Using our Jewish media like the Wall Street Journal, the New York Times and this Foxmanl News. Why to make the film, print the Tshirt & sell the mugs? When we jews run a war or paying for a Marxist revolution we find some clever ways to do it all.

Sarah’le my engale, everybody can see from your film that you vote for what is best for israel, not what is best for America , this makes you a trator. Look what they did to the meshigine boy from Califirnia who fought in the Taliban. They wrapped him up like a boil-in-the-bag duck al’orange & put him piece of kaken to rot for 20 years! You see Sarah’le, the goyim will start to realise that all this Credit Zimes is our Job. As you know, here in the Palestinian solidarity they know about Mony’le and Tranc’le. It won’t take long before the Americans see through us.

Now that I have told you off I will now give you 1 compliment. It is quite clever the way you adopt the persona of a spoilt racsist jewish princess when that is what you actually are. Oi!!! Very clever indeed.


June 30, 2008

Jackie Mason Talks the Peace

Oi would you check out this clip?! The way Jackie Mason spits whenever he says the word ‘Arab’ is beautiful! Such grace, such eloquence, such poignancy. The man is so Jewish he manages to speak in a Noo Joy-zee accent even though he is from Wisconsin. That takes some doing! It is like sounding like a Glaswegian if you were born in the Golan Heights. Such talent. I wonder did he study acting with Lee Strasboyg?

Now it seems that Mr Mason (who I admit I have a slight crush on) is not just a comedian. He is a historian too. But he has a few little glitches to iron out. He tells us ‘Not only do the Arabs (spit) not belong there (spit) but they were never there in the first place. (dribble) They never existed as a people or as an entity.’

Oi this is wonderful news. But then he tells us that the Palestinians were originally persecuted by Syria & Jordan & that’s how they came to live on our land. He says ‘Many of them were annihilated, so how come they don’t ask for anything in return?’

Good question. When someone murders my family I want to be offered a cash alternative.

I tell you, the whole thing stinks like a gefilte fish that’s been left in the fridge for 3 days because you had to rush out to recue T’ziga’le from the Police station again and you forgot to clean it out.

United Against Racism!

June 20, 2008

Chaplin’s Kristal Nacht Kid

Filed under: anti-semitism, Charlie Chaplin, Hollywood, Jews, Kristal Nacht, The Kid, Tziga'le, zionism — auntieziona @ 12:17 pm

Hoy, my neighbour kinder Tziga’le, he has some big ambitions. He wants to go Hollywood. I told him Hollywood is too far and the Holy Land would be far better. But he wants to be Metro Goldween Meyer or at least Chaimke Schpilberg. I told him, if he wants to be like Chaimke Shpilberg or Moisha’le Filini, he will have to learn from people like Yossa’le Scorsese.

So now he takes film classes in the shul near the Yeshiva on Sundays. They have a young Rabbi named Yanka’le Polanski who teaches them how to make musical films about the Shoa and our suffering. Last week they learned about Charlie Chaplin and his hidden Zionist message. In case you didn’t know, Charlie was working for us. Because he was so clever, everyone was sure that he was a true humanist.

You look at this film and judge for yourself. And take it from Auntie, instead of popcorn and coca cola, you’d better get some hot fresh rogalch from the nearby deli.

United Against Everyone

May 15, 2008

A Salute to Those Who Keep Our World Safe

When Trancie arrived at my house today, I knew something was wrong. He had somehow lost his usual joie de vivre, his hair was unkempt, he smelled like last week’s gefilte fish, and it looked as though he had not had any sleep for a week.

Even worse, I could see from his red-rimmed eyes that he had been crying, his nose was still running, and he kept wiping it on the sleeve of his jumper, which was already criss-crossed and crusty with snail trails. I knew then that something must be going seriously wrong in his life.

Sit down, Trancie, I told him, and tell Auntie Z what’s the matter. (Though I was tempted to remind him to give his clothes a wash once in a while, I didn’t go there, as the poor man was upset enough already. But as my bubbe used to say, weeping makes the heart grow lighter.)

After quite a lot of cajoling, he came out with the truth. He told me that all the beautiful clips which my neighbour, Tziga’le Cinematsky, has been making for him, and which were uploaded at YouTube to show Trancie’s magnificent effort at Wikipedia to weed out and destroy the enemies of Israel, have been removed by the anti-semitic elements at YouTube. He is spending all night uploading new copies, and when he wakes up in the morning, they are gone again!

I told him, Trancie, you have to stop letting our adversaries stress you out, they cannot beat us in the long run! If it’s a war they want, we will launch a full-scale shoah against the censors, which will make our invasion of Lebanon look like a children’s birthday party.

I told him not to worry any more, despite the fact that the anti-semitic, anti-proletarian, anti-atheistic goyim at YouTube are taking down all of his publicity, our Tziga’le is going to create a marvellous new musical clip for him, one that is sure to get the feet tapping of even the most anti-semitic goy, with a tune that will take him to the Top of the Pops faster that you can say “Oy Vey!”.

Trancie started to cheer up a little bit when he heard about my plan to put the word out to our network of sayanim that more volunteers are needed for loading Trancie’s clips at YouTube, as well as to all the other free hosters provided on the internet. He started to smile again when I told him that in a matter of days, united against racism, we will upload hundreds of his clips to all the available sites, and the anti-semitic, anti-proletarian, anti-atheistic censors will never win this war!

As fast as they remove his material, we will continue putting it up, we will be like a beautiful blue and white AIDS virus, that multiplies each time one is removed!! The goyim will think of us as zioviruses against anti-semitism, and the holocaust-denying, neo-nazi censors will NEVER succeed in removing all references to our Trancie’le from the internet.

While Tzige’le is putting the finishing touches to Trancie’s new musical video clip (watch this space, where it will have its first showing), Tzige’le has given me permission to post his latest clip, a beautiful pictorial ode showing Trancie and many of Those Who Save the World saluting Gilad Shalit, the world’s most beloved soldier, and a human being as well as a Jew.

United against racism!

May 8, 2008

Mony’s search for identity

Filed under: anti-semitism, anti-zionism, identity, Jewish, Jews, Mony Gripstein, search, Tony Greenstein — auntieziona @ 8:32 pm

Hoy, I am so worried, everybody is giving Mony’le a hard time. The Zionists say he is a joke and the anti-Zionists ignore him because of his unlawful record. This is so horrible.

And if this is not enough, yesterday Auntie Shelomi went to the Hoydeon cinema in Swiss Cottage to see a film about Isroel and guess what!? She saw a film about Mony, where he is crying because he doesn’t know who he is anymore and what he stands for. He was so confused, my little darling Mony’le.

And to make it worse, in the film he calls himself Tony Greenstein as if he tries to assimilate! Unless, and please listen to me carefully, Tony and Mony are two different people. I have now looked at the film and I cannot make up my mind. Tony looks so much like Mony, and when he cries my cloptz turns in my bowels. They look like 2 drops of chicken soup, except for a wart which seems to be missing from Tony’s right nostril.

So I decided to put the clip up and to let you decide.

Is Mony Tony?

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