Auntie Ziona Against Auntie Simone

January 13, 2009

Olmert Gives Condi a Good Frosk


Oy gevalt, our swartze shiksa in the Blue and White House momentarily forgot her place last week, and I am so yappy that our Ehud’le Olmert taught her a good lesson.

Condi’le perhaps thought that with almost a thousand goyim in Goyza already exterminated, her record in Fallujah was in danger of being beaten by us, the Jewish people, and so she decided to vote along with all the other UN shmeggegies to end the genocide.

She must have forgotten about the demographic problem Israel is dealing with here, not to mention the fact that our IDF is doing Americe a big favour by testing out all those new weapons.

Ehud’le had to bring Condi down to size very quickly with a good frosk.

“She was left shamed,” said our Prime Minestrone about Condi’le Noodle. “A resolution that she prepared and arranged, and in the end she did not vote in favour.”
Oy, our Olmert is such a shimshon der giber, even with Bush he doesn’t save his words.
“I said, ‘Get me President Bush on the phone”. They said he was in the middle of giving a speech in Philadelphia. I said he didn’t care. ‘I need to talk to him now’. He got off the podium and spoke to me.”

This is our Jewish power. It is called chutzpah. It means we can get away with everything and anything we want to do.

Hopefully our incoming goyim at the Blue and White House will take this as a good reminder about who makes the important decisions.

United against insubordination

Chutzpah
– unmitigated gall, brazanness beyond imagination.
Fosk – a sharp slap in the face.
Oy! Gevalt! – An expression of dismay. Ach! Heaven forbid!
Shiksa – a goy woman.
Shmeggegie (shmeh-geg-gee) – a doofus, an idiot, a silly, foolish dolt. A hapless fool who’s maybe not quite playing with a full deck. There’s a whiff of emotional instability about such a person.
Shimshon der giber
– arrogant son of a bitch

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January 7, 2009

Obama’s Message to Goyza


Nu shoin, we are so pleased with the way our Obambi is maintaining his silence on the subject of Goyza, and cooperating with his handler in the Blue and White House, our Rahm’le Emanuel.

He doesn’t give us any tsuris and is really turning out to be the perfect goy golem. He knows it’s in his interests to start off with a clean slate, and just let the outgoing alta kocker handle any fallout from the Goyza operation as his last favour to Israel, if he can stay sober long enough to do so.

Rahm’le told our Obambi’le not to worry about UN interference in the operation, and to just focus on his golf handicap during his holiday. “Nu, this is what we need you to do, Obambi. Take a long break in the Pacific with your shikze and two lovely little kinderlach over the festive season.


“Whatever happens with Yisrael, just keep looking the other way. Your spiel will be that there can only be one Achasverosh at a time, and all you have to do is repeat what you said in July
:

‘If somebody was sending rochalachs into my house, where my kinders sleep at night, I’m going to do everything in my power to stop that,” you must say. “And I would expect the Israelis to do the same thing.’

“If some wise guy asks you what you would do if somebody was sending mortar kugalach or cluster bombalach into the house where your daughters sleep at night, just give the signal to our men to Taser the provocateur. Same if you’re asked what you would do if you were living under a starvation siege like a shoa muscleman and your kleine meidales were shot in their classrooms.

“Obambi’le, take it from Rahm, just keep your mouth shut and enjoy the surf.”

United against the rokalach!

Achasverosh – POTUS
Alta kocker – literally, an old shit; an old operator
Golem – an artificial creature created from mud by a rabbi using magic, endowed with supernatural strength and used to further the goals of its creator. The most famous was made by Rabbi Loew in the 16th century to defend the Jews of Prague from a pogrom.
Kinders – children
Meidales – little sweeties
Goy – a gentile, someone not Chosen
Rokalach – rockets
Sayan – our diaspora operatives who work with the Mossad
Shiksa — a goy woman, not one of the Chosen
Shoah muscleman – the name given to skinny survivors in the camps
Shpiel – a story, a sales pitch, a speech. “Don’t give me the whole shpiel. Just tell me how much this is going to cost me.”
Tsuris — Troubles, but not just any old troubles. BIG troubles, like those of Bernie’le Madoff.

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