Auntie Ziona Against Auntie Simone

January 7, 2009

Obama’s Message to Goyza


Nu shoin, we are so pleased with the way our Obambi is maintaining his silence on the subject of Goyza, and cooperating with his handler in the Blue and White House, our Rahm’le Emanuel.

He doesn’t give us any tsuris and is really turning out to be the perfect goy golem. He knows it’s in his interests to start off with a clean slate, and just let the outgoing alta kocker handle any fallout from the Goyza operation as his last favour to Israel, if he can stay sober long enough to do so.

Rahm’le told our Obambi’le not to worry about UN interference in the operation, and to just focus on his golf handicap during his holiday. “Nu, this is what we need you to do, Obambi. Take a long break in the Pacific with your shikze and two lovely little kinderlach over the festive season.


“Whatever happens with Yisrael, just keep looking the other way. Your spiel will be that there can only be one Achasverosh at a time, and all you have to do is repeat what you said in July
:

‘If somebody was sending rochalachs into my house, where my kinders sleep at night, I’m going to do everything in my power to stop that,” you must say. “And I would expect the Israelis to do the same thing.’

“If some wise guy asks you what you would do if somebody was sending mortar kugalach or cluster bombalach into the house where your daughters sleep at night, just give the signal to our men to Taser the provocateur. Same if you’re asked what you would do if you were living under a starvation siege like a shoa muscleman and your kleine meidales were shot in their classrooms.

“Obambi’le, take it from Rahm, just keep your mouth shut and enjoy the surf.”

United against the rokalach!

Achasverosh – POTUS
Alta kocker – literally, an old shit; an old operator
Golem – an artificial creature created from mud by a rabbi using magic, endowed with supernatural strength and used to further the goals of its creator. The most famous was made by Rabbi Loew in the 16th century to defend the Jews of Prague from a pogrom.
Kinders – children
Meidales – little sweeties
Goy – a gentile, someone not Chosen
Rokalach – rockets
Sayan – our diaspora operatives who work with the Mossad
Shiksa — a goy woman, not one of the Chosen
Shoah muscleman – the name given to skinny survivors in the camps
Shpiel – a story, a sales pitch, a speech. “Don’t give me the whole shpiel. Just tell me how much this is going to cost me.”
Tsuris — Troubles, but not just any old troubles. BIG troubles, like those of Bernie’le Madoff.

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