Auntie Ziona Against Auntie Simone

January 11, 2009

Will Barak Follow in Eichmann’s Footsteps?

Oy, so many wild dreams I’ve been having these days, probably because of this war against the mishuggah hamasniks.Last night, my dream was set in the future, which is very strange because we, the Jewish people, usually fantasize solely about the past.

Oi ever, this dream was set in something like 2020. Ehud’le Barak, Tzipi’le Livni, Shimon’le Peres and Ehud’le Olmert were seeking shelter overseas because of the War Crimes Tribunal. The mishuggenahs in the Hague were blaming them for crimes against humanity, can you believe this narishkeit? When all they did was to kill some arabs.
In my dream, Barak was captured in NYC, schlepping refrigerators and sofas for an Israeli moving company. This is what many Israelis do in Americe once they finish their military service.

Tzipi’le was arrested in Buenos Aires, posing as an art student and running an S & M brothel on the side, Olmert’le was discovered managing a kosher abattoir in Brooklyn, and Peres was found running a euthanasia center in the dungeons of Windsor Castle.

These hamasnik agents captured them all. In my dream, Ehud’le was put in a hand’le suitcase because he is very, very small like Napoleon, and brought back to Goyza to face justice. Barak said in his defence that he was just “following orders” just like this farshluggineh, Adolf Eichmann.

Oi, i was so worried for Ehud’le. I tossed and I turned in my bed. Nu shoin, they were about to execute him and burn him like Eichmann! I knew that for Eichmann we had built a special big oven, but for Ehud’le all they would need is a medium sized microwave, which they would be able to reuse afterwards.

At 6 am, I woke up sweating and read on Ynet that Israel is still alive and is even still killing its neighbours, so I relaxed and made myself a kleine coffee, which I had with a nice apfel shtrudel.

United against the goyim

Mishuggah (mish-shug-uh) – crazy, nuts

Narishkeit (nar-ish-kite) – foolishness (a nar is a fool) “An artist, you want to be? Never mind this narishkeit! Better you should go to college and get a real job!”
Farshluggineh (far-shlug-in-ah) – crazy mixed up, wacky and worthless.
Shlep – haul, carry, drag, either something or oneself. “I feel naked if I’m not shlepping at least 15 bags.”

January 6, 2009

Brave IDF Soldaten Destroy UN-run Schools Sheltering Refugees

Click on image to enlarge


Oy, these Palestinian people are so naive, I just have to shake my head.

Did the arabs really think that they could escape our tanks and bombers after their homes were destroyed, and run to find shelter in the UN-run schools?

Nu shoin, the farcockteh hamasniks are finally finding out that there is nowhere to hide.

They seem to have forgotten that the Jewnited Nations has always worked for us. Don’t they remember 1947, when the UN gave us their country, their land and their houses?

The arabs cannot even get a ceasefire resolution passed at the UN! And after sixty years of ethnic cleansing, they still don’t get it that no rules apply during war.

If you don’t believe me, ask Americe.

United Against terrorism!

Americe – the USA, where else?
Farcockteh – all fucked up. “It used to be a nice neighborhood, but now it’s all farcockt.” As an adjective, it’s “farcockteh.” “This is a farcockteh neighborhood.”
Goyisher kop – a gentile head. Said about people who don’t think like Jews. Jews think ahead, analyzing each situation, postulating contingency plans for every possible tragic outcome.

January 5, 2009

Like Lambs to the Slaughter!

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , — auntieziona @ 8:22 am

Oy oy oy, my heart is breaking for our kinderlekh lambs, sent into that islamofascist zoo where they have been promised a “black fate” by the hamasniks.

I could just feel it in my kishkas that something terrible was going to happen when the tanks started rolling into Goyza with our jungen inside, and today I learned that already many of our yiddishe soldaten have been killed and at least two of our finest have been captured in the most brutal fashion, to await their fates as kidnapniks.

Nu shoin, at least our Gilad’le Shalit won’t be alone any more. But despite our ground invasion, the islamofascists continue to fire their rockets into the heart of our people!

Oy gevalt, I really want to ask Ehud’le and Tzipi’le, why do we have to send the cream of our soldaten into that seething pit of terrorists? Can’t we just nuke them quietly or fry those Palestinians from afar, like our American brethren did with the Fallujans?

Surely our supplies of cluster bombs, white phosphorous and depleted uranium will do the trick.

Just this one time, was it really necessary for our kinderlekh lambs to be sent to plant landmines throughout Goyza? We don’t have to prove that we are brave, because the goyim don’t believe it anyway.

Auntie is not stupid. A few days ago when I realised that the battle against the mishuggah hamasniks was immanent, I asked my two Israeli nephews in the IDF to report from the front lines. I know that Rahm’le Maccoby and and Shimshon Greenstein keep their cell phones next to their grenades at all times.

Both Rahm’le, who is a tank commander, and Shimshon’le, who is a rabbinical officer and front-line kosher superviser, called me back in tears. Rahm’le was tearing his clothes and weeping that he could not take the battle any more, after watching an Apache being blown to bits. Shimshon’le managed to get out the news that he’d seen his friends being roasted alive in their tanks.Now both of my poor kleine nephews find themselves trapped behind eight-meter high walls inside Goyza, in a booby-trapped war zone.

Oy gevalt, I have no other option but to beg for Barak’s mercy. If you do not want to stop the killing, shoin. But first just let my Maccoby and Greenstein go home.

I want the whole family to be together at kleine Ariel’s Bar Mitzvah next week.

United against the slaughter!

Kinderlekh
– darling children
Kishka – guts, as in “Some secret agent! After 10 minutes of questioning, he spilled his kishkas!”
Jungen – young
Mishuggah (mish-shug-uh) – crazy, nuts

January 2, 2009

Santa Strikes Back


Oy gevalt, the goyim are now bringing in the Santas against us!

Here we see a Father Christmas slinging stones, amongst the Islamofacist children of Gaza. Nu shoin, when I look at these meshiggenahs, I just have to shake my head. Have they really no fear?

Our Barak’le, who’s been waiting for the hamasniks to come out with a white flag, is becoming a little anxious about the way things are going in Goyza.

But with his small stones, this kleyne Dovid may be able to scratch a tank, though he can never topple our mighty Goliath or shoot down our American planes.

Even Santa can’t stop our holy celebration of extermination.

United Against Saint Hamas-Nic

meshuggenah – crazy, someone who is nuts
kleyn – small

January 1, 2009

Achtung, Goyza!

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , , , , , , — auntieziona @ 11:41 am
Click on image to enlarge

Oy gevalt, it didn’t take long for these fahklumpte goyim to start comparing our airforce’s bombing of Goyza to the blitzkrieg of the Nazis.

Feh, these meshuggenah anti-Semites just don’t know what they’re talking about. Did they expect Israel to turn the other cheek forever? What are we, chopped liver?

The Nazi blitzkrieg was there to achieve a military target, first they devastated and then they conquered. But the Jewish people just want peace and security, and it is the hamasniks who force us to kill and kill until we find a partner to make shalom with.

Click on image to enlarge

Unlike the fercockte Nazis who sent their young boys to die, we take care of our boychick soldaten. Instead of putting their lives at risk and taking the chance of making more Gilad’le Shalits, we just drop bombs on the enemy from 10 000 feet.

These islamofascist goyim are creating a tzimmis for nothing by comparing our tactics to those of the Nazis! What a silly observation, when all we are doing is an ordinary extermination.

Click on image to enlarge

First we ethically cleansed them and they refused to die, then we locked them in camps and they still refused to die, then we erected barbed wire and 8-metre high concrete walls around them, yet they continued to somehow cling to life. So we stopped the food and the medical aid, but ver is mir, the meshuggenah hamasniks remained obstinate, leaving us with only two remaining options: the gaza chamber or exterminating them from the air.

Oi ever, unlike the Nazis and British Gas, we always call first before we pull the plug.

United against Goyza!

fahklumpt — mixed up, confused
feh – the shortest, most efficient way to say that something smells
fercockt – all fucked up
meshuggenah – crazy, someone who is nuts
tzimmis – to make a tzimmis is to make a fuss
veh is mir – “I am pain itself!” An expression of suffering, used to describe everyday miseries such as shaving nicks, sinus headaches or acid indigestion.

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