Auntie Ziona Against Auntie Simone

January 16, 2009

This Is How We’re Jewish

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , , , , — auntieziona @ 4:08 pm

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United Against Humanism

January 14, 2009

Kosher Mass Murderers

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , , , , , , — auntieziona @ 4:16 pm

Oi my Got, our Foix news has been saying that A 3-year-old boy named Adolf Hitler and his two Nazi-named younger sisters were removed from their New Jersey home last week and placed in state custody, police said.”

But now I read on JC that Papa’le and Mama’le Campbell have come up with a new plan to bring children into the world, thanks Got. They learned their lesson, so they say.

From now on they will call their kids after kosher mass murderers.

United against the Nazis

January 13, 2009

Olmert Gives Condi a Good Frosk

Oy gevalt, our swartze shiksa in the Blue and White House momentarily forgot her place last week, and I am so yappy that our Ehud’le Olmert taught her a good lesson.

Condi’le perhaps thought that with almost a thousand goyim in Goyza already exterminated, her record in Fallujah was in danger of being beaten by us, the Jewish people, and so she decided to vote along with all the other UN shmeggegies to end the genocide.

She must have forgotten about the demographic problem Israel is dealing with here, not to mention the fact that our IDF is doing Americe a big favour by testing out all those new weapons.

Ehud’le had to bring Condi down to size very quickly with a good frosk.

“She was left shamed,” said our Prime Minestrone about Condi’le Noodle. “A resolution that she prepared and arranged, and in the end she did not vote in favour.”
Oy, our Olmert is such a shimshon der giber, even with Bush he doesn’t save his words.
“I said, ‘Get me President Bush on the phone”. They said he was in the middle of giving a speech in Philadelphia. I said he didn’t care. ‘I need to talk to him now’. He got off the podium and spoke to me.”

This is our Jewish power. It is called chutzpah. It means we can get away with everything and anything we want to do.

Hopefully our incoming goyim at the Blue and White House will take this as a good reminder about who makes the important decisions.

United against insubordination

– unmitigated gall, brazanness beyond imagination.
Fosk – a sharp slap in the face.
Oy! Gevalt! – An expression of dismay. Ach! Heaven forbid!
Shiksa – a goy woman.
Shmeggegie (shmeh-geg-gee) – a doofus, an idiot, a silly, foolish dolt. A hapless fool who’s maybe not quite playing with a full deck. There’s a whiff of emotional instability about such a person.
Shimshon der giber
– arrogant son of a bitch

January 11, 2009

Will Barak Follow in Eichmann’s Footsteps?

Oy, so many wild dreams I’ve been having these days, probably because of this war against the mishuggah hamasniks.Last night, my dream was set in the future, which is very strange because we, the Jewish people, usually fantasize solely about the past.

Oi ever, this dream was set in something like 2020. Ehud’le Barak, Tzipi’le Livni, Shimon’le Peres and Ehud’le Olmert were seeking shelter overseas because of the War Crimes Tribunal. The mishuggenahs in the Hague were blaming them for crimes against humanity, can you believe this narishkeit? When all they did was to kill some arabs.
In my dream, Barak was captured in NYC, schlepping refrigerators and sofas for an Israeli moving company. This is what many Israelis do in Americe once they finish their military service.

Tzipi’le was arrested in Buenos Aires, posing as an art student and running an S & M brothel on the side, Olmert’le was discovered managing a kosher abattoir in Brooklyn, and Peres was found running a euthanasia center in the dungeons of Windsor Castle.

These hamasnik agents captured them all. In my dream, Ehud’le was put in a hand’le suitcase because he is very, very small like Napoleon, and brought back to Goyza to face justice. Barak said in his defence that he was just “following orders” just like this farshluggineh, Adolf Eichmann.

Oi, i was so worried for Ehud’le. I tossed and I turned in my bed. Nu shoin, they were about to execute him and burn him like Eichmann! I knew that for Eichmann we had built a special big oven, but for Ehud’le all they would need is a medium sized microwave, which they would be able to reuse afterwards.

At 6 am, I woke up sweating and read on Ynet that Israel is still alive and is even still killing its neighbours, so I relaxed and made myself a kleine coffee, which I had with a nice apfel shtrudel.

United against the goyim

Mishuggah (mish-shug-uh) – crazy, nuts

Narishkeit (nar-ish-kite) – foolishness (a nar is a fool) “An artist, you want to be? Never mind this narishkeit! Better you should go to college and get a real job!”
Farshluggineh (far-shlug-in-ah) – crazy mixed up, wacky and worthless.
Shlep – haul, carry, drag, either something or oneself. “I feel naked if I’m not shlepping at least 15 bags.”

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