Auntie Ziona Against Auntie Simone

May 19, 2008

Our Man Rance at Wikipedia

Filed under: Israel, Jews, Roland Rance, socialists, Wikipedia, zionism, Zionists — auntieziona @ 4:32 pm

Oy vey, it seems to be not a good year for our Sayanim. First it was Mony who was exposed closing down Palestinian sites, and now our king Sayan, Roland Rance, has been exposed as a Zionist Wikiman. As proud as we are of his masterful editing on Wikipedia of biographies of troublesome people, we really did not want the goyim public to become aware of his activities.

As funny as it may be, Tziga’le was commissioned by the Israeli embassy here in London to make a short film about Rance’s activities. It was supposed to be shown on Rosh Ashana at a private party in the Odeon, in Golders Green, to celebrate 40 years of Jewish Marxist Sayanim. Nu shoin, there may be no good reason to celebrate anymore, but at least I can show it to my audience….

Ladies and Gentelmen, Zios and Zionas, here he is, our Wiki Man, Mr Roland Rance. We are hoping that this clip and its catchy tune will at least make it to the Top of the Pops.

22 May 2008 – Shocking update! The targeting of our man Rance at Wikipedia by extremely anti-semitic elements within YouTube (which we wrongly assumed the chosen people had long ago taken control over) is being fought tooth and nail by our Sayanim world-wide. The effect of this campaign to prevent Roland from achieving the fame he deserves is actually uniting Jews across the spectrum – kosher Jews, Israeli Jews, diaspora Jews, orthodox Jews, atheist Jews, Socialist Jews, ordinary Jews, Jews with Special Needs, Jews of all colours and sexual persuasions. We will never be divided again!

The Ladies of Wizo have managed to locate 41 different free video clip hosting services on the internet, have opened accounts at all of them, and have uploaded all of Trancie’s clips at each one! Roland is going to become more and more famous with each new attempt to silence him on YouTube by the neo-nazis! Holocaust-deniers be damned, United we will Overcome.

May 17, 2008

How Can Anyone Suggest that Jews Don’t Like Water?

Filed under: Jews, Mony Gripstein, Mony'le, racism, Star of David, Water, zionism — auntieziona @ 9:34 pm

UNITED AGAINST RACISM

May 15, 2008

A Salute to Those Who Keep Our World Safe

When Trancie arrived at my house today, I knew something was wrong. He had somehow lost his usual joie de vivre, his hair was unkempt, he smelled like last week’s gefilte fish, and it looked as though he had not had any sleep for a week.

Even worse, I could see from his red-rimmed eyes that he had been crying, his nose was still running, and he kept wiping it on the sleeve of his jumper, which was already criss-crossed and crusty with snail trails. I knew then that something must be going seriously wrong in his life.

Sit down, Trancie, I told him, and tell Auntie Z what’s the matter. (Though I was tempted to remind him to give his clothes a wash once in a while, I didn’t go there, as the poor man was upset enough already. But as my bubbe used to say, weeping makes the heart grow lighter.)

After quite a lot of cajoling, he came out with the truth. He told me that all the beautiful clips which my neighbour, Tziga’le Cinematsky, has been making for him, and which were uploaded at YouTube to show Trancie’s magnificent effort at Wikipedia to weed out and destroy the enemies of Israel, have been removed by the anti-semitic elements at YouTube. He is spending all night uploading new copies, and when he wakes up in the morning, they are gone again!

I told him, Trancie, you have to stop letting our adversaries stress you out, they cannot beat us in the long run! If it’s a war they want, we will launch a full-scale shoah against the censors, which will make our invasion of Lebanon look like a children’s birthday party.

I told him not to worry any more, despite the fact that the anti-semitic, anti-proletarian, anti-atheistic goyim at YouTube are taking down all of his publicity, our Tziga’le is going to create a marvellous new musical clip for him, one that is sure to get the feet tapping of even the most anti-semitic goy, with a tune that will take him to the Top of the Pops faster that you can say “Oy Vey!”.

Trancie started to cheer up a little bit when he heard about my plan to put the word out to our network of sayanim that more volunteers are needed for loading Trancie’s clips at YouTube, as well as to all the other free hosters provided on the internet. He started to smile again when I told him that in a matter of days, united against racism, we will upload hundreds of his clips to all the available sites, and the anti-semitic, anti-proletarian, anti-atheistic censors will never win this war!

As fast as they remove his material, we will continue putting it up, we will be like a beautiful blue and white AIDS virus, that multiplies each time one is removed!! The goyim will think of us as zioviruses against anti-semitism, and the holocaust-denying, neo-nazi censors will NEVER succeed in removing all references to our Trancie’le from the internet.

While Tzige’le is putting the finishing touches to Trancie’s new musical video clip (watch this space, where it will have its first showing), Tzige’le has given me permission to post his latest clip, a beautiful pictorial ode showing Trancie and many of Those Who Save the World saluting Gilad Shalit, the world’s most beloved soldier, and a human being as well as a Jew.

United against racism!

May 14, 2008

Melanie Philips: Oi There Never was a Palestinian!

It’s true I may be the ultimate auntie of the Jewish people but, you know, when I was a young girl and my gazangas pointed towards the heavens, I had an auntie myself, Auntie Zosha.

Oi, she was so beautiful & always cleaning and scrubbing, but the thing about her was that she always put too much onion in her forshmak and often just a bit too much dried yeast in her balobichkes. We used to say to her ‘auntie, don’t put so much dried yeast in the balobichkes, auntie Zosha please!’ and do you know what she said? Well, I can’t tell you because if I told you then I would be telling you a private thing, and also I can’t remember. But it was so funny!

Two days ago I was cleaning out Mony’le’s old sock draw and guess what I discovered!? Old socks… but also I discovered that little Tony’le had squirrelled away old family photographs with passports, driving licenses, credit cards, everything! He is so sentimental. There I found a picture of Auntie Zosha. I couldn’t believe it. She was so beautiful even though she liked too much dried yeast. And do you know who she looks like!? I said it to Mony. I said ‘Mony, do you know who she looks like?’ I tell you, she looks exactly like my favorite writer, Melanie Philips. Oi, I love Melonie Philips. She is always coming with lovely things that make my loins stir with pride. Recently she made me realize that when those Arabs flee our beautiful Merkoives toinks, it’s not because we are murdering them like chickens in the kosher factory, but because they are evil, so they see the evil in us.

She said ‘Increasingly, Palestinians are packing up and leaving. It is they rather than the Israelis who are in despair. Their sense of national identity — always artificial — now lies finally shattered by the death cult that acts in their name.’

This is so good, because if they are not even Palestinian then I don’t see why I can’t become one! After all we are all the same, kosher, halal, oi one universal people!

May 13, 2008

My Mony’le is an angel

Hoy hoy hoy, why do they pick on my Mony’le and his criminal past? So he did what he did with the credit card, but just because he was trying to relieve the banks of their ill-gotten gains, because he is a true socialist. So he was slightly violent with some Jewish kids, but it was only because he was trying to make them into Trots like himself, and they resisted. So he was operating as a crypto-Zionist for 30 years, but he did it because he is a genuine Zionist for real.

This is what our politicians are sometimes forced to do, to go beyond reasonable measures in order to help others. Look at our Israeli president, who only tried to relieve some women of their lower abdominal gefiltes. So now they call him a rapist. And what about the Israeli prime minister who got some money in envelopes. All he was trying to do was to relieve the envelopes of unnecessary content so he could put in Shana Tova cards instead. So now they call him a gonef. This is very painful for me to see.

People don’t see the angel in Mony’le, Olmert and Kazav! They seem not to see the real Zadik in my little nephew, all they see is the credit card criminal, the racial hate record, and the violence against the copy machine. This pains me deeply, because I am so united against racism.

Auntie Shelomi saw an angel in her dream last night. She was sure that it was Mony’le. She described it to me and I think she was right, it must have been a vision of Mony’le shown to her by the Elohim, no less.

He is now going to the gym, as you can see.

April 24, 2008

A Zionist Conspiracy to Wreck Wikipedia

Filed under: conspiracy, gatekeepers, socialists, tRance, Wikipedia, zionism, Zionists — auntieziona @ 7:06 am

The Auntie Simones call it “conspiracy” but we call it a proper plan!!!

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