Auntie Ziona Against Auntie Simone

June 5, 2008

Gentile Grief

Filed under: anti-semite, Gentile, German, Jews, Muslims, Nazis, shoah — auntieziona @ 1:43 pm

A Poem by Auntie Simone
Dear Auntie Ziona,
What shall I do,
I came out a gentile,
And not as a Jew!

Dear lesser mortal,
Your problem is grave,
But I’ve a solution
Your conscience to save.

All talk of the Jews
Will be morally wrong
Unless it resembles
Solomon’s song.

Speak of the Shoah
With awe and respect,
And not one iota
Will you reject.

Never suggest
That Jews might conspire;
If you do that
You’re playing with fire.

Israel, it’s true,
Is terribly bad,
But it’s not with the Jews
You ought to get mad.

No, it’s the West’s
Imperial dream
Which caused this trouble,
This dastardly scheme.

Remember the Jews
Are peace-loving and wise.
It’s the anti-Semite
Who this truth denies.

The Muslims are suspect,
Between you and me.
They’ve crazy beliefs
And their women aren’t free.

Seek out old Nazis
Under the bed;
Take them to court
Even if they’re half dead.

You say you’re a German,
Oi ye! oi veh!
You’d better work hard,
What more can I say?

But really the best
Would be to discover
You’re also Jewish
By your great grandmother!

United Against Racism!

May 30, 2008

Internationale in Yiddish

Filed under: Auntie Ziona, Internationale, Jews, Mony Gripstein, Proletarians, racism, tRance, Yiddish — auntieziona @ 1:39 am

This is the kind of YouTube clip that makes Auntie Ziona happy.

A clip that brings to light the entire truth about Jewish revolutionary social awareness and the struggle for true equality…

A clip that proves that we the Jews are at the forefront of the fight against racism…

A clip that proves that we the Jews are at the forefront for Palestine…

A clip that is there to show the world that as far as the ‘Internationale’ is concerned, we the Jews are the leading force…

We are young, we are sexy, we are the true proletarians and when I say ‘we’, I don’t mean just Mony’le and tRance’le, I include Potty’le as well…

Enrich your spirit and watch it here.

United Against Racism!

May 19, 2008

Our Man Rance at Wikipedia

Filed under: Israel, Jews, Roland Rance, socialists, Wikipedia, zionism, Zionists — auntieziona @ 4:32 pm

Oy vey, it seems to be not a good year for our Sayanim. First it was Mony who was exposed closing down Palestinian sites, and now our king Sayan, Roland Rance, has been exposed as a Zionist Wikiman. As proud as we are of his masterful editing on Wikipedia of biographies of troublesome people, we really did not want the goyim public to become aware of his activities.

As funny as it may be, Tziga’le was commissioned by the Israeli embassy here in London to make a short film about Rance’s activities. It was supposed to be shown on Rosh Ashana at a private party in the Odeon, in Golders Green, to celebrate 40 years of Jewish Marxist Sayanim. Nu shoin, there may be no good reason to celebrate anymore, but at least I can show it to my audience….

Ladies and Gentelmen, Zios and Zionas, here he is, our Wiki Man, Mr Roland Rance. We are hoping that this clip and its catchy tune will at least make it to the Top of the Pops.

22 May 2008 – Shocking update! The targeting of our man Rance at Wikipedia by extremely anti-semitic elements within YouTube (which we wrongly assumed the chosen people had long ago taken control over) is being fought tooth and nail by our Sayanim world-wide. The effect of this campaign to prevent Roland from achieving the fame he deserves is actually uniting Jews across the spectrum – kosher Jews, Israeli Jews, diaspora Jews, orthodox Jews, atheist Jews, Socialist Jews, ordinary Jews, Jews with Special Needs, Jews of all colours and sexual persuasions. We will never be divided again!

The Ladies of Wizo have managed to locate 41 different free video clip hosting services on the internet, have opened accounts at all of them, and have uploaded all of Trancie’s clips at each one! Roland is going to become more and more famous with each new attempt to silence him on YouTube by the neo-nazis! Holocaust-deniers be damned, United we will Overcome.

May 17, 2008

How Can Anyone Suggest that Jews Don’t Like Water?

Filed under: Jews, Mony Gripstein, Mony'le, racism, Star of David, Water, zionism — auntieziona @ 9:34 pm

UNITED AGAINST RACISM

May 15, 2008

A Salute to Those Who Keep Our World Safe

When Trancie arrived at my house today, I knew something was wrong. He had somehow lost his usual joie de vivre, his hair was unkempt, he smelled like last week’s gefilte fish, and it looked as though he had not had any sleep for a week.

Even worse, I could see from his red-rimmed eyes that he had been crying, his nose was still running, and he kept wiping it on the sleeve of his jumper, which was already criss-crossed and crusty with snail trails. I knew then that something must be going seriously wrong in his life.

Sit down, Trancie, I told him, and tell Auntie Z what’s the matter. (Though I was tempted to remind him to give his clothes a wash once in a while, I didn’t go there, as the poor man was upset enough already. But as my bubbe used to say, weeping makes the heart grow lighter.)

After quite a lot of cajoling, he came out with the truth. He told me that all the beautiful clips which my neighbour, Tziga’le Cinematsky, has been making for him, and which were uploaded at YouTube to show Trancie’s magnificent effort at Wikipedia to weed out and destroy the enemies of Israel, have been removed by the anti-semitic elements at YouTube. He is spending all night uploading new copies, and when he wakes up in the morning, they are gone again!

I told him, Trancie, you have to stop letting our adversaries stress you out, they cannot beat us in the long run! If it’s a war they want, we will launch a full-scale shoah against the censors, which will make our invasion of Lebanon look like a children’s birthday party.

I told him not to worry any more, despite the fact that the anti-semitic, anti-proletarian, anti-atheistic goyim at YouTube are taking down all of his publicity, our Tziga’le is going to create a marvellous new musical clip for him, one that is sure to get the feet tapping of even the most anti-semitic goy, with a tune that will take him to the Top of the Pops faster that you can say “Oy Vey!”.

Trancie started to cheer up a little bit when he heard about my plan to put the word out to our network of sayanim that more volunteers are needed for loading Trancie’s clips at YouTube, as well as to all the other free hosters provided on the internet. He started to smile again when I told him that in a matter of days, united against racism, we will upload hundreds of his clips to all the available sites, and the anti-semitic, anti-proletarian, anti-atheistic censors will never win this war!

As fast as they remove his material, we will continue putting it up, we will be like a beautiful blue and white AIDS virus, that multiplies each time one is removed!! The goyim will think of us as zioviruses against anti-semitism, and the holocaust-denying, neo-nazi censors will NEVER succeed in removing all references to our Trancie’le from the internet.

While Tzige’le is putting the finishing touches to Trancie’s new musical video clip (watch this space, where it will have its first showing), Tzige’le has given me permission to post his latest clip, a beautiful pictorial ode showing Trancie and many of Those Who Save the World saluting Gilad Shalit, the world’s most beloved soldier, and a human being as well as a Jew.

United against racism!

May 14, 2008

Melanie Philips: Oi There Never was a Palestinian!

It’s true I may be the ultimate auntie of the Jewish people but, you know, when I was a young girl and my gazangas pointed towards the heavens, I had an auntie myself, Auntie Zosha.

Oi, she was so beautiful & always cleaning and scrubbing, but the thing about her was that she always put too much onion in her forshmak and often just a bit too much dried yeast in her balobichkes. We used to say to her ‘auntie, don’t put so much dried yeast in the balobichkes, auntie Zosha please!’ and do you know what she said? Well, I can’t tell you because if I told you then I would be telling you a private thing, and also I can’t remember. But it was so funny!

Two days ago I was cleaning out Mony’le’s old sock draw and guess what I discovered!? Old socks… but also I discovered that little Tony’le had squirrelled away old family photographs with passports, driving licenses, credit cards, everything! He is so sentimental. There I found a picture of Auntie Zosha. I couldn’t believe it. She was so beautiful even though she liked too much dried yeast. And do you know who she looks like!? I said it to Mony. I said ‘Mony, do you know who she looks like?’ I tell you, she looks exactly like my favorite writer, Melanie Philips. Oi, I love Melonie Philips. She is always coming with lovely things that make my loins stir with pride. Recently she made me realize that when those Arabs flee our beautiful Merkoives toinks, it’s not because we are murdering them like chickens in the kosher factory, but because they are evil, so they see the evil in us.

She said ‘Increasingly, Palestinians are packing up and leaving. It is they rather than the Israelis who are in despair. Their sense of national identity — always artificial — now lies finally shattered by the death cult that acts in their name.’

This is so good, because if they are not even Palestinian then I don’t see why I can’t become one! After all we are all the same, kosher, halal, oi one universal people!

May 8, 2008

Mony’s search for identity

Filed under: anti-semitism, anti-zionism, identity, Jewish, Jews, Mony Gripstein, search, Tony Greenstein — auntieziona @ 8:32 pm

Hoy, I am so worried, everybody is giving Mony’le a hard time. The Zionists say he is a joke and the anti-Zionists ignore him because of his unlawful record. This is so horrible.

And if this is not enough, yesterday Auntie Shelomi went to the Hoydeon cinema in Swiss Cottage to see a film about Isroel and guess what!? She saw a film about Mony, where he is crying because he doesn’t know who he is anymore and what he stands for. He was so confused, my little darling Mony’le.

And to make it worse, in the film he calls himself Tony Greenstein as if he tries to assimilate! Unless, and please listen to me carefully, Tony and Mony are two different people. I have now looked at the film and I cannot make up my mind. Tony looks so much like Mony, and when he cries my cloptz turns in my bowels. They look like 2 drops of chicken soup, except for a wart which seems to be missing from Tony’s right nostril.

So I decided to put the clip up and to let you decide.

Is Mony Tony?

May 7, 2008

We stand up against anti-semitic censorship!

Filed under: anti-semitic, Jews, tRance, Tziga'le, Wikipedia, YouTube — auntieziona @ 11:02 am

Mony’s friend tRancie was so upset about YouTube removing him from their gallery of stars recently. We assured him it has nothing to do with the way he looks, and that they probably just don’t like Jews. After his second helping of cheescake, he pulled himself together and went next door to ask my talented neighbour, Tziga’le Cinemazky, to put together a mini-clip with just the most important information, which can be seen below. Not to worry, tRancie, we will stand united all the way against anti-semitic censorship!

Important Update: After some of my chicken soup, tRancie was filled with renewed vigour, and informed Tziga’le and me that he intends to flood the internet with the original full-length clip. This afternoon he managed to break through the fascist censors and his efforts can be seen here.

United Against racism!

May 2, 2008

Julius vs. Gripstein

Filed under: Anthony Julius, anti-semite, Gilad Atzmon, goyim, Jews, Judaism, Julius, Princess Di — auntieziona @ 6:35 pm

I was really very concerned the other day when I read Julius’ article about Jewish anti-Zionism, Part One as well as Part Two!

Every Jewish anti-Zionist was mentioned: Ilan Papesh, Oren Ben Gore, Aki Vaor, Geraldine Rose, Bony Judt and even Goliath Azmond was there, presented as a leading figure, in spite of the fact that he unfortunately dropped out of our tribe.

So you want to know why I was really concerned? Nu shoin, I was worried because I was looking for my Mony’le, my little anarchist nephew. I was searching for his name and couldn’t even find a hint. In spite of the foict that for the last 30 years Mony’le has been purporting to be a “Jew against Zionism”, together with tRance and Potty (who is a little too frightening to link to).

Julius was so cruel not to even mention them once. It is true that no-one really likes to be associated with Mony’le because of his past, but Julius could have said just a word or two to acknowledge Mony’le’s futile effort. Julius should have known that words do not cost money – what a slap in the face!

To be snubbed by Princes Di’s lawyer must have hurt my Mony’le (always a secret royalist at heart), but perhaps he will call on tRancie and Potty to picket with him outside the Supreme Court next time Julius is having a big case. Mony loves a good picket, and it keeps him occupied, always a good thing. As my bubbe used to say, an idle brain is the devil’s workshop.

Between the Jews of us, it was very stupid of Julius to admit that Mony’le and his two pals are working for us at the Anti Z-mite Hunting Department. At the end of the day, a man has to make a living, and for a Marxist Jew, Judaism is not a religion, but an occupation.

Mony’le, you said today “There are a few people who have illusions that…. Gilad Atzmon is an anti-Zionist.”

You are right, my Mony’le – they are called Goyim, and we don’t like them at all.

United Against Racism

May 1, 2008

Nu shoin, a new Shoah!

Hoi Givalt, 100 British Jews revealed yesterday, black on white in the Guardian letter section: “We’re not celebrating Israel’s anniversary”.

What are we going to do? This is a new Shoa embarking on our innocent people!

According to the Zionist-run Wikipedia, the number of Jews living in Britain is somewhere between 250.000 and 350.000. So I made a quick calculation, recruiting my entire stock of frozen maza balls, and found out that now we are left with only 249.900-349.900 who celebrate this most precious Jewish birthday. Only 349.900 are going to dance in the streets of Golders Green, instead of 350.000.

But then I asked myself, what do they mean by ‘not celibrating’?. I can understand that some Jews do not care that much about their brothers. They may not even know about the Israeli celebration. But ‘not celebrating’ must be a different kind of disengagement.

What is their plan? Are they going come to our birthday Simcha, but then sit in a dark room listening to Wagner or Azmond, while crying their head off as if it’s Yom Kippur? What do these Jews do for a celebratory day out? Take gefilthe fish to the Brabican & sit looking at Nakba photos demonising the Chosen people all afternoon?

You should all know Auntie Ziona by now, I am not looking for conflicts. I never try to put other Jews down, I always look for the bond that make us all into one people who do nothing but try to save the world. I always look for the bright side of (Jewish) life. So I went and read again the first paragraph of these Jewish Anti-Party anarchists:

“In May, Jewish organisations will be celebrating the 60th anniversary of the founding of the state of Israel. This is understandable in the context of centuries of persecution culminating in the Holocaust. Nevertheless, we are Jews who will not be celebrating. Surely it is now time to acknowledge the narrative of the other, the price paid by another people for European anti-semitism and Hitler’s genocidal policies. As Edward Said emphasised, what the Holocaust is to the Jews, the Naqba is to the Palestinians.”

I then realized the entire paragraph is beautiful and overwhelmingly Jewish, except for the first silly sentence. Apparently they all became Atzmonites without even realizing. They say, “In May, JEWISH organisations will be celebrating the 60th anniversary of the founding of the state of Israel.”

I wonder, don’t they know the Jewish Iron Rule? Never mix JEWS with Zionists! They stupidly admit that we are all Zionists, except 100 of them. Maybe even they cannot maintain the lie anymore. Foolishly, they say ‘JEWISH organisations’, but obviously they should have said ‘ZIONIST organisations’. The truth is, we are all Zionists! Not very clever of these schlemeils to admit it, though.

Nu shoin, what can we do, Anti-Zionists were not pushing enough in the queue when G_d gave us all saykhl (brains). Because they like to share everything, they were left with so little.

But, once you skip the first sentence, you are left with a wonderful glatt koisher text. They do exactly what every good Jew must do. In three lines they have managed to shove everything people should know about us: “persecution”, “Holocaust”, “the narrative of the other” (as if we love our Goyim neighbours) , “anti-semitism”, “Hitler” and “genocide”. Only a well trained Yeshiva boicher can put so much Jewish suffering in just two sentences.

However, just to mention a small anecdote…Our Jews against Simcah end their letter with a very non-Jewish optimistic utopian sentence:”We will celebrate when Arab and Jew live as equals in a peaceful Middle East.”

Take it from Auntie Ziona, you will never celebrate because we, the Jews , do not believe in equality. We believe that we are the Chosen. We believe that we have a role in this world. True, we do not always agree amongst ourselves what this role is. Our Rabbis say we must serve humanity with a moral example, our Marxists say we must bring socialism to the working class, our Wolfowitzes say we must bring Coca Cola to the Arab world.

Nu shoin, we all want to give something, because we are givers rather than takers. Take it from Aunti Ziona, once we stop being the chosen people, once we stop telling people who they are, what they should be and what they should think, once we stop giving people some good advice, we won’t be Jews anymore. We will be people like other people.

And you anti-party Jews, once you stop being chosen, the danger is that you may make friends with Goyim in general and Arabs in particular!

United against Racism

The list of 100 Anti Party Jews:

Seymour Alexander 
Ruth Appleton
Steve Arloff
Rica Bird 
Jo Bird
Cllr Jonathan Bloch
Ilse Boas
Prof. Haim Bresheeth 
Tanya Bronstein
Sheila Colman
Ruth Clark
Sylvia Cohen
Judith Cravitz
Mike Cushman
Angela Dale
Ivor Dembina
Dr. Linda Edmondson
Nancy Elan
Liz Elkind
Pia Feig
Colin Fine
Deborah Fink
Sylvia Finzi
Brian Fisher MBE 
Frank Fisher
Bella Freud
Catherine Fried
Uri Fruchtmann
Stephen Fry
David Garfinkel
Carolyn Gelenter
Claire Glasman 
Tony Greenstein
Heinz Grunewald
Michael Halpern
Abe Hayeem
Rosamine Hayeem
Anna Hellman
Amy Hordes
Joan Horrocks
Deborah Hyams
Selma James
Riva Joffe
Yael Oren Kahn
Michael Kalmanovitz
Paul Kaufman
Prof. Adah Kay
Yehudit Keshet
Prof. Eleonore Kofman
Rene Krayer
Stevie Krayer
Berry Kreel
Leah Levane
Les Levidow
Peter Levin
Louis Levy
Ros Levy
Prof. Yosefa Loshitzky
Catherine Lyons 
Deborah Maccoby
Daniel Machover
Prof. Emeritus Moshe Machover
Miriam Margolyes OBE
Mike Marqusee
Laura Miller
Simon Natas
Hilda Meers
Martine Miel
Laura Miller
Arthur Neslen 
Diana Neslen
Orna Neumann
Harold Pinter 
Roland Rance
Frances Rivkin
Sheila Robin
Dr. Brian Robinson
Neil Rogall
Prof. Steven Rose
Mike Rosen 
Prof. Jonathan Rosenhead
Leon Rosselson
Michael Sackin
Sabby Sagall
Ian Saville
Alexei Sayle
Anna Schuman
Sidney Schuman
Monika Schwartz
Amanda Sebestyen 
Sam Semoff
Linda Shampan
Sybil Shine
Prof. Frances Stewart
Inbar Tamari
Ruth Tenne
Martin Toch
Tirza Waisel
Stanley Walinets
Martin White
Ruth Williams
Naomi Wimborne-Idrissi
Devra Wiseman
Gerry Wolff
Sherry Yanowitz

Join Israel’s 60th anniversary celebration!

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