Auntie Ziona Against Auntie Simone

November 6, 2008

Jews Against Prostate Cancer!

Filed under: Iran — auntieziona @ 2:48 am

Oi, I saw this petitzale below, with all the concerns of the Jews in Canada, even Avraima’le Spritzenbundfeld from the Jewish Prostate and Lungs Oispital (Jewish PLO) at the Spritz and Gefarten Clinic in Montreal, as well as Noamchik and my Mony’le… and I thought that it was pretty clever.

Whatever happens in Iran, Jews declare their innocence in advance, even if it is just 200 out of 20 million.

It always seems to work with the Goyim, but somehow G_d doesn’t buy this trick. He allowed our enemies to smite us in the Holocaust, in spite of the fact that at least 200 Jews took him very seriously. Nu shoin, as we all know, Judaism is not exactly a belief system. It is more like a profession.

But then I thought that we the Jews should extend this petitzky and stand collectively, Jewishly, synagogically and gefilthefishly, against many other things!!!

For instance, what about Jews Against Prostate Cancer?

I am sure that Noamchik Chopsky, Debbi’le Pink, Roland Schwants, Toni Grimpiss, Moishale Mushiover, Hypochondriac Jews of Canada, and even Doivid Tube would immediately approve.

Mony will be able to bring in Charli Pishthin and Socialist Urineity.

And you know what, I bet we can get the Palestinian solidarity into it. If these people are in solidarity with all those Arabs, I am pretty sure they will open their hearts and wallets to tzeliger men with severe schwantzle problems.

I tell you, my friends, if people start to blame Jews for prostate cancer, we are in a real trouble. We’d better move fast.

International Jewish Statement Against an Attack on Iran

Signed by over 150 Jews internationally. Please add your Jewish name to our statement.

(Only significantly Jewish names need apply, and in case your name fails to be Jewish enough, you can either change it for the occasion or add your Jewish entitlement e.g. “Jews Against Cancer”, “Jews for Piss”, “Don’t Piss in Our Name”, “Jews for Just Piss, No Poo Whatsoever”, “Jews for the Unemployed Who’ve Also Spent Their Conviction”, “Piss Now”, etc.)

United Against the Goyim!


  1. Tony, Hey Tony

    Let’s you and I celebrate our man-love for one another and for Comrade Stalin by shoplifting and then setting up a Gulag for all those who laugh at us!

    — Roland Rance, anally revolutionary

    Comment by Anonymous — November 6, 2008 @ 10:53 am

  2. LOL this is the funniest thing i ever read in my life & what a picture :-)XXX

    Comment by Anonymous — November 6, 2008 @ 10:58 am

  3. Oi please put my name in
    I am so united against cancer, even when it attacks the anti semites and the Goyim in general…

    I am an international Jew like Mony’le and Tranc’le

    My name is very international as well

    Shalom Salami-Piss Now, Andora/ Don’t Piss in my Name, Goa/ Don’t Piss in my Direction , Miami

    Comment by Anonymous — November 6, 2008 @ 11:05 am

  4. Auntie, I think I may be have hypochondria but then again, I’m not sure if I’m just being paranoid.

    Do you think I can join the Hypochondriac Jews of Canada?


    Comment by Anonymous — November 6, 2008 @ 11:09 am

  5. So Danny why don’t you join our newly established international cosmopolitan “Concerned Hypochondriac Paranoid Canadian Jews”

    We are getting bigger and bigger we are almost 5.

    Comment by Anonymous — November 6, 2008 @ 12:26 pm

  6. And by the way don’t you worry, we are a Jews only campaign. We do not take in Arabs or Muslims people… they are not paranoid, they are scared for good reason.

    Zalman Fear – CHPCJ (Concerned Hypochondriac Paranoid Canadian Jews)

    Comment by Anonymous — November 6, 2008 @ 12:34 pm

  7. Thank you for your advice.

    However I think I should wait until I get a confirmed diagnosis on my hypochondria. I don’t want to join forces my hypochondriac comrades only for them to discover that I am a fake.

    Alternatively I may launch my own movement ‘Jews With Various Perplexing Ailments Against War, Religion, & Cancers Affecting All Reproductive Organs of Men, Women & Transsexuals As Longs As They Are Jewish’ JWVPAACATROMWTJ

    Off to the Drs now,

    Comment by Anonymous — November 6, 2008 @ 12:56 pm

  8. I am so jealous of the Arabs. At least they know they’re not paranoid


    Comment by Anonymous — November 6, 2008 @ 12:58 pm

  9. Danny don’t you worry we are all fake

    And when people find about our real devastating past we just call them Anti Semites.

    Zalman Fear – CHPCJ (Concerned Hypochondriac Paranoid Canadian Jews)

    Comment by Anonymous — November 6, 2008 @ 2:12 pm

  10. The Dr tells me I am actually genuinley sick. He may just be an anti-Semite who is projecting, but until I get a 7th opinion, I have to live with the prospect that I'm not a hypocondriac after all. Next, he'll try to tell me I'm not even a Jew!

    However I am 'concerned' & I'd love to one day go to Montreal Jazz festival, so perhaps I can still qualify. Oi help me Auntie.

    Comment by Anonymous — November 6, 2008 @ 6:20 pm

  11. Danny

    I don’t think that using Prof. Sand as a GP is a very clever move. You need a proper JP. Someone with a proper Freudian qualifications from Jerusalem University or even Tel Aviv

    What about the cancer, you are either with us or against us

    Zalman Fear

    Comment by Anonymous — November 6, 2008 @ 6:29 pm

  12. By the way, where is Auntie?

    Why is she so quiet?


    Comment by Anonymous — November 6, 2008 @ 6:30 pm

  13. Am I against cancer? What a question!I am against cancer when it happens to a Jew. Being a chosen tumor, means it is extra aggressive & takes over fast. But, when cancer afflicts the goy testicals of someone like Zundle or Nick Griffin, then I say, hey, tumours are no bad thing 😉 Eh!? Am I right!?

    Danny Boy

    Comment by Anonymous — November 6, 2008 @ 7:28 pm

  14. Just like car crashes are no bad thing if they happen to Jorg Haider.


    Comment by Anonymous — November 6, 2008 @ 7:31 pm

  15. Danny’le, can you imagine that so many goyim regard zionism itself as the main cancer of the planet, and Israel as the most aggressive tumour to manifest from this cancer!

    Auntie Ziona asked me to send you all her heartfelt wishes for a speedy recovery, but Mony’le managed to get away from his caregiver In Toys-R-Us a day or two ago, oy gevalt, and you can;t imagine the complications resulting from those 20 minutes of freedom.

    Auntie Ziona had to go this afternoon and explain things to the management of the shop again, with her brother, the rabbi. They will probably invite the manager to tea at Blooms, so it may be a lengthy affair, but she will be at her desk, quill in hand later…

    Comment by Auntie Shelomi — November 6, 2008 @ 7:58 pm

  16. Here I am again. Mony’le and myslef had such a nice Kishke in Blooms

    Oi ever. Danny boy you are so wrong.

    Don’t you know that Zundle und Nick Griffin und Haider are good for the Jews? they keep us busy.

    What Mony’le, Tranc’le und Abe’le Foxman would do with out them?

    The Zundels keep us united

    Comment by Auntie Ziona — November 6, 2008 @ 8:28 pm

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