Auntie Ziona Against Auntie Simone

November 3, 2008

The Mony Magical Trip

Filed under: Ian Saville, magicians, Marc Maron, Mony Gripstein, Toys-R-Us, Tziga'le — auntieziona @ 5:42 pm

My Mony isn’t doing well at all, and I’ve been worried about him. He sits alone in his room all day, spending hours playing with the dreidel Uncle Shlommi gave him when he turned three, even though it’s not yet Chanuka.

I made him some kreplach with chopped meat, onions and a bissell shmaltz served in chicken soup to cheer him up, but nothing seems to work.

Oy oy oy, thank goodness Tziga’le, my neighbor and a real mentsh, is back from Israel where he took part in a wonderful contest to commemorate Sir Paul’s visit… more about that later this week.

Tziga’le is always ready with ideas to cheer up Mony, and when he saw the state my poor nephew was in, he whipped out his collection of Jewish Magician Shows, and let Mony choose two to keep himself entertained till bedtime.

Mrs Mendelsohn and her daughter Rachel have promised to take him on an outing to Toys-R-Us tomorrow, so at least that should take care of activities for the morning. It’s nice to see him a little bit excited again, and he’s already chosen his outfit for tomorrow, including a bright red jersey to contrast nicely with the blue and white of the ribbon he got from the Israeli Embassy and T’Ranci’le.

If you and your little ones want to watch the magician shows in solidarity with Mony’le this evening, here they are:

Ian Saville, Socialist Magician

Marc Maron hails the great Jewish magicians of all time

United Against the Goyim, especially Auntie Simone!


  1. Who is this Mony? is he real?

    Comment by Anonymous — November 3, 2008 @ 8:18 pm

  2. He’s as real as the nose on your face, yet our Mony has illusions of grandeur.

    Trancie’le mentioned that Mony is considering creating some kind of magician act or special show for children, hence the incessant juggling of dreidals in Auntie Ziona’s house.

    However, his brothers and sisters reacted to this suggestion with alarm, with the ever-present possibility that he may lose it and mete some “reasonable chastisement” to the little ones attending his act, especially if they laugh.

    Oi ever, thank G_d Trancie’le came up with a brilliant alternative which could really work. Why doesn’t Mony stand as the Children’s MP for Golders Green? What’s the bet he could get more than 13 votes this time if he pulls a few strings and calls in a few favours at the Parents Help group, over at the Brighton Unemployment Centre?

    The most important thing is to keep him occupied right now, and off the streets.

    Comment by Auntie Shelomi — November 3, 2008 @ 10:02 pm

  3. Dear Roland Rance:
    Let’s first sew our foreskins back on to show our support for Stalinism and then get circumcized to show our love for al-Qaeda!

    Fighting with our penises for the revolution!
    Tony Greenstein

    Comment by Anonymous — November 4, 2008 @ 8:15 am

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