Auntie Ziona Against Auntie Simone

November 2, 2008

An S.O.S. after Shabbat

Filed under: children, magicians, Miki'le, Mony Gripstein, Roland Rance, Shabbat, Tony Greenstein, toys, tRance — auntieziona @ 12:14 pm

Oy gevalt, after reading some of the comments made in this post about his preferred methods for disciplining the young, it was not easy for my Mony’le to sit and eat gefilthe at the same table with his brethren on Shabbat.

With tears in his eyes, Mony’le showed us this blue and white ribbon given to him by the Israeli Embassy and Chief Wikipedia Rabbi, Comrade Roland Rance, to commemorate his ceaseless caring for the Jewish youngsters of the working class. Mony assured us that he loves all the little people, and as you know, he himself has never fully grown up.

The incident in which “The Great Velcro” slapped a little boy with a broken arm through the face really happened, yes, and afterwards, my Mony said some things about the “reasonable chastisement” of the young which he has come to regret. Nu Shoin, what can we do, he always says things and then happens to regret them. That is life, or shall I say, that is Mony’s life. Oi ever, Mony’le and the magician both discovered that Velcro sticks worse than sheise.

Mony’le now wants to make it clear that he loves everybody, except Eisen, Azmond, Mearsheiner & Walt, and the Hamas. He loves the elders, the youngsters, the working class, the unemployed, the magicians, Toys-R-Us, and he even loves himself!

Pinning his blue and white ribbon proudly on his chest, he proclaimed loudly that this ribbon is there to show his REAL feelings about the little people who are put on this Earth for us to protect.

As annoyed as I was with Mony for kicking Miki’le in the shins, I am here to affirm that Mony’le adores the young, and his fondest wish is to raise them to be proud, unemployed Jewish revolutionary socialists just like himself.

United Against the Adult!

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6 Comments »

  1. How could it have escaped you that your nephew hates me so much his blood boils over? Remember when I asked him to please pass the paprika (you need to use a bit more) he ignored me? I made a face asking “what’s up with that” and he said to you that “I don’t communicate with anti-semites”? Please, Auntie, listen to me if you ever have another one of these tea parties, you need to buy one of those rotating things that they have in Chinese restaurants so that no one has to ask anyone to pass anything.

    Anyway, we did get home safe and sound. Nice little tea party you had, I have to admit. I was expecting it to be more stressful, but you were actually delightful, more like a Muswell Hillbilly than a Golder’s Greener. (We got tea in the morning, tea in the evening, tea at suppertime. I’m sure there’s tea when it’s raining, tea when it’s snowing, tea when the weather’s fine. We got tea as a mid-day stimulant, we got tea with our afternoon tea, for any old ailment or disease …
    For Christ sake have a cuppa tea.)

    Comment by mary — November 2, 2008 @ 1:44 pm

  2. Tony, hey Tony

    I have decided to get a foreskin implant to show my support for Stalinism, and then get circumcised to show my support for al-Qaeda.

    — Roland Rance, struggling for world liberation

    Comment by Anonymous — November 2, 2008 @ 3:49 pm

  3. Leave it to you boys to always talk about your privates!

    Comment by geldenlox — November 2, 2008 @ 4:07 pm

  4. I was very pleased to hear that Tony Greenstein has his head screwed on properly when it comes to suitable punishments for the young. I myself have zero tolerance for stupid children who should know better than to blow a kiss at a magician on stage. I agree with Tony, the kid deserved a bloody good hiding, too bad he was deafened for three days after the incident. But Tony was spot on, the little brat actually should have had his other arm broken as well.

    I’d bet very interested to compare notes on child discipline with the laudable Mr. Greenstein. He’s a father, just like me. I bet he knows just how to keep his brats controlled 🙂 Spare the rod and spoil the child, that’s the truth.

    Comment by Disciplinarian — November 3, 2008 @ 12:27 am

  5. Actually, I once saw Greenstein with a few kids in an eating place in Brighton. I guess they may have been his own children, but in any case they looked very brow-beaten with their frowning little faces and grim countenances. There was no laughter at that table. My husband remarked that he thought it was a bit strange at the time, but your post has thrown some light on that incident. Thanks Auntie Ziona… but don’t you think your nephew could do with a few years in a state penitentiary to straighten him out, once and for all?

    Comment by Concerned mother — November 3, 2008 @ 12:37 am

  6. Hold on. This Greenstein character goes on record stating that a serious assault on an injured child is merely “reasonable chastisement”. He has a string of convictions as long as your arm for, amongst other crimes, thuggery and violence.

    Did it not occur to our esteemed child protection unit somewhere along the line to investigate the way he “disciplines” his own children? I mean, should convicted violent criminals not have permanent vid cams set up in their houses to monitor their activities when they have children of their own, for goodness sake?

    Comment by Disgusted — November 3, 2008 @ 1:33 am


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