Auntie Ziona Against Auntie Simone

November 1, 2008

John Zorn, My Jewish Radical Hero

Filed under: Uncategorized — auntieziona @ 11:04 am

Mony’le is not doing very well these days. Nu Shoin, I always told him that if he keeps bringing up the shiese the world will turn against him.

Dinner, oi ever, was so nice, everybody came, even Wikiman Roland Trance and Mary’le from Italy

They were all mesubin around my table except this melodic Klezmer Meshige Azmond

Never mind, I dont need him, I recently found this free jazz ‘Jewish Radical’ music star. His name is John Zorn and he won a big award.

United Against the Melody



  1. Agreed… 50th Anniversary Masada is probably utter crap. Zorn used to actually be entertaining. His stuff with Marc Ribot was reall good, but then he went VERY much into the Jewish Niche, which reflected on his music. A few weeks ago, he Laurie Anderson and Lou Reed played Rome, doing “The Song of Songs”, which they dedicated in honour of the 60th Anniversary of Israel… sick! Reed also used to make great music. But I would put 50th Anniversary Masada right next to Metal Machine Music as unlistenable stuff.. Even Laurie Anderson used to do some nice things… when they get old, they start to try to appeal to the Jewish Music Fan in everyone.

    Comment by mary — November 3, 2008 @ 1:00 pm


    tonight Laurie and Lou are playing Israel… they have just gotten creepier and creepier.

    Comment by mary — November 3, 2008 @ 1:15 pm

  3. Of course… Lauri’le is going to HAVE to perform The Cultural Ambassador. Here are the lyrics.

    Anyway, I was in Israel as a kind of cultural ambassador and there were lots of press conferences scheduled around the performances. The journalists usually started things off by asking about the avant-garde.
    — So, what’s so good about new? they’d ask.

    — Well, new is… interesting.

    — And what, they would say, is so good about interesting?

    — Well, interesting is, you know… it’s… interesting. It’s like… being awake, you know, I’m treading water now.

    — And what is so good about being awake? they’d say.

    Finally I got the hang of this: never answer a question in Israel, always answer by asking another question. But the Israelis were vey curious about the Gulf War and what Americans had thought about it, and I tried to think of a good question to ask and answer to this, but what was really on my mind was that the week before I had myself been testing explosives in a parking lot in Tel Aviv. Now this happened because I had brought some small stage bombs to Israel as props for this performance and the Israeli promoter was very interested in them. And it turned out that he was on weekend duty on one of the bomb squads, and bombs were also something of a hobby during the week. So I said:

    — Look, you know, these bombs are nothing special, just, just a little smoke

    And he said:

    — Well, we can get much better things for you.

    And I said:

    — No really, these are fine…

    And he said:

    — No but it should be big, theatrical. It should make an impression, I mean you really just the right bomb.

    And so one morning he arranged to have about fifty small bombs delivered to a parking lot, and since he looked on it as a sort of special surprise favor, I couldn’t really refuse, so we are on this parking lot testing the bombs, and after the first few explosions, I found I was really getting pretty… interested.

    They all had very different characteristics: some had fiery orange tails, and made these low paah, paah, paah, popping sound; others exploded mid-air and left long smoky, slinky trails, and he had several of each kind in case I needed to review them all at the end, and I’m thinking:

    — Here I am, a citizen of the world’s largest arms supplier, setting off bombs with the world’s second largest arms customer, and I’m having a great time!

    So even though the diplomatic part of the trip wasn’t going so well, at least I was getting some instruction in terrorism. And it reminded me of something in a book by Don DeLillo about how terrorists are the only true artists left, because they’re the only ones who are still capable of really surprising people. And the other thing it reminded me of, were all the attempts during the Gulf War to outwit the terrorists, and I especially remember an interesting list of tips devised by the US embassy in Madrid, and these tips were designed for Americans who found themselves in war-time airports. The idea was not to call ourselves to the attention of the numerous foreign terrorists who were presumably lurking all over the terminal, so the embassy tips were a list of mostly don’ts. Things like: don’t wear a baseball cap; don’t wear a sweat shirt with the name of an American university on it; don’t wear Timberlands with no socks; don’t chew gum; don’t yell “Ethel, our plane is leaving!”. I mean it’s weird when your entire culture can be summed up in eight giveaway characteristics.

    And during the Gulf War I was traveling around Europe with a lot of equipment, and all the airports were full of security guards who would suddenly point to a suitcase and start yelling:

    — Whose bag is this? I wanna know right now who owns this bag.

    And huge groups of passengers would start #170430 out for the bag, just running around in circles like a Skud missile on its way in, and I was carrying a lot of electronics so I had to keep unpacking everything and plugging it in and demonstrating how it all worked, and I guessed I did seem a little fishy; a lot of this stuff wakes up displaying LED program readouts that have names like Adam Smasher, and so it took a while to convince them that they weren’t some kind of espionage system. So I’ve done quite a few of these sort of impromptu new music concerts for small groups of detectives and customs agents and I’d have to keep setting all this stuff up and they’d listen for a while and they’d say:

    — So uh, what’s this?

    And I’d pull out something like this filter and say:

    — Now this is what I’d like to think of as the voice of Authority.

    And it would take me a while to tell them how I used it for songs that were, you know, about various forms of control, and they would say:

    — Now, why would you want to talk like that?

    And I’d look around at the ###170549 and the undercover agents and the dogs and the radio in the corner, tuned to the Superbowl coverage of the war. And I’d say:

    — Take a wild guess.

    Finally of course, I got through, with this after all American-made equipment, and the customs agents were all talking about the effectiveness,
    no the beauty, the elegance, of the American strategy of pinpoint bombing. The high tech surgical approach, which was being reported by CNN as something between grand opera and the Superbowl, like the first reports before the blackout when TV was live and everything was heightened, and it was so… euphoric

    Comment by mary — November 3, 2008 @ 1:24 pm

  4. OMG Mary, Laurie Anderson has sold her soul to the devil, clearly…

    Mama mia, this is so sick:

    “…it was so… euphoric” describing the ‘elegance and beauty’ of the American ‘pinpoint’ bombing of Baghdad.

    I used to listen to Laurie Anderson as an adolescent, Lou Reed too. My god, how people hide their true colors… but they are lost now, and obviously no longer can raise an audience in Europe or America, hence the l-o-n-g silence from them both, followed by the usual grand reappearance in Israel, the land of milk and honey , as long as you’re a has-been musician with no conscience whatsoever and desperate for an audience.

    Poor old things, I guess they have to raise the cash somehow for all that reconstructive surgery they need in their dotage, as a result of their self-destructive lifestyles a couple of decades back.

    Maybe someone should tell these pathetic old farts, the McCartneys, Andersons and Reeds of this world, that there’s no plastic surgeon who can fix the soul once it sells itself to zion and its blood money.

    Comment by Auntie Simone — November 3, 2008 @ 1:39 pm

  5. Isn’t it sad, Auntie Simone? And you are right about the plastic surgery (in a way…) When they were doing the promo stuff here in Italy for the Song of Songs performances, they looked their age… although very smartly dressed and hip with their hair and stuff…. but then today, (I didn’t know about the concerts in Tel Aviv until this morning when someone I know told me he was going…) and I looked at the poster for it (and her disc she will do Homeland is the title) and it was a picture of her from like 20 or more years ago! I saw her do The United States about 25 years ago, it was fantastic… but yeah, she has gotten really horrible. Throwing around that word “terrorism”… as if the bombing by the West wasn’t the same shit?

    And forget about Lou… his songs for Drella was the last decent thing he’s done. Now he lives off his legacy.

    Zero is the number.

    Comment by mary — November 3, 2008 @ 1:46 pm

  6. Mary, I see you are on friendly terms with Auntie Simone, that treacherous shiksa in the red dress who dares to talk about selling of souls… I find this very disappointing after we had such a lovely time together on Shabbat, in the soft light vast by the menorah.

    When are you going to come back to the chosen people, Mary’le??!

    I think it is beautiful that Laurie Anderson and Lou Reed have opened their hearts to the people of Israel, and I have heard that Laurie’le is even planning to learn some kletzmar.

    For sure we reward them when they embrace Israel. At the moment the Israeli givernment is running a comtest to create the most wonderful Sir Paul postage stamps, and will probably do the same for Laurie and Lou’le.

    My advice, Mary, is to start listening to some real music for a change.

    Comment by auntie ziona — November 3, 2008 @ 1:58 pm

  7. And it’s not the has-beens who come to Israel, it’s people who only see the light once they reach maturity. When you know the time is coming close to meet your maker, that’s when a person tends to do right by Yahweh, and that is why we have the wise sir Paul, Laurie and Lou, bless their hearts. We are proud to host them in the short time they have left on this planet before they go off to meet their heavenly hosts 🙂

    Comment by Isarig — November 3, 2008 @ 3:55 pm

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