Auntie Ziona Against Auntie Simone

October 14, 2008

Harry Platzen – Sink or Swim!

Filed under: David T, Harry's Place, Islamophobia — auntieziona @ 6:57 pm

Oi, these days our Sayanim are not doing as well as in the old days. You know about my Nephew Mony’le Gripstien and Wiki master Roland Tranc’le, who have managed to burn all bridges with the Palestinian Solidarity Movement. So now, thanks to those shelmazels, even the Marxists and the communists do not follow our Jewish call anymore.

But to my great disappointment even our smear operators are doing very badly. The other day when I was browsing the net to find some cheering anti-Muslim news I came across this headline in the Daily Tel Aviv (Daily Telegraph): “Non-Muslim father banned from London pool”.

For two minutes, I was very happy, but then I realized that the innocent “non-Muslim father” was none other than my other nephew, the notorious slander master, David Toube from Harry Platzen (Schnel zi Harry). Dovid’le told the paper, “I arrived at the pool to discover that they were holding what staff described to me as ‘Muslim men-only swimming’… I asked whether my son and I could go as we were both male. I was told that the session was for Muslims only and that we could not be admitted.”

Oi Vey, I was about to cry to G_d in heaven, as if Mony and his tzures aren’t enough, we have now lost another son of Israel, who insists on bathing with Goyim like Azmoned, Eoizen and Jesus. I was so shocked to read that our angel son, David Toube, who is monitored daily by Islamophobia Watch and anti-bigotry sites, now wants to swim with Muslims.

But then I realized that Dovid’le was just trying to get some media attention. I am used to it, Mony’le is exactly the same. It was so clever of Dovid’le not to mention to the press that just a few weeks earlier, he had been turned away from a seesion at that very same pool, which was was reserved for just Haredi Jewish women! It was such a shame, because this is when I was there, and I had nice gefilthe in a plastic box which he could have shared.

Oi-ever, I think it would be far more effective if Dovid’le stops trying to swim with Arabs, and rather keeps pretending to be libertarian Neocon, David T. As a writer for the Jewish Chronicle, I also think he’d be better off schlepping all the way to Haifa Bay, Tel Aviv or Ashkelon, and joining our brothers and sisters on the beach.

What do you reckon?

Auntie Shelomi remembers Dovid’le from his Bar Mitzvah and was inspired to pen a few lines as an ode to him and his swim to the top of the corporate ladder. She’s entering the Niemuller poetry contest at Palestine Think Tank with this piece:

First they came for the men who tried to get into the swimming session restricted to children only,
And I didn’t speak up because I have children too.

Then they came for the men who tried to get into the swimming session restricted to women only,
And I didn’t speak out because I too have a wife, and a mother, and a sister.

Then they came for the men who tried to get into the swimming session restricted to Haredis,
And I didn’t speak up because Haredis are part of the Chosen People.

Then they came for the men who tried to gatecrash the swimming session restricted to Muslim males,
And I did speak up, in fact I screamed about it at the top of my voice
to the Daily Mail, the Guardian and the Telegraph.

I managed to whip up quite some anti-Muslim hysteria.
You see, I was angling for a promotion at Cleary, Gottlieb, Steen and Hamilton.

United Against the Goyim!


  1. Auntie, you are so funny

    He is a clearly a nasty piece of schise
    have you seen this?

    Moishele mench

    Comment by Anonymous — October 15, 2008 @ 1:01 am

  2. Tony, hey Tony

    You can be Comrade Cheech and I will be Comrade Chong and together we will build Stalinazism!

    — Roland Rance, Stalinizing each day

    Comment by Anonymous — October 18, 2008 @ 5:12 pm

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Create a free website or blog at

%d bloggers like this: