Auntie Ziona Against Auntie Simone

May 13, 2008

My Mony’le is an angel

Hoy hoy hoy, why do they pick on my Mony’le and his criminal past? So he did what he did with the credit card, but just because he was trying to relieve the banks of their ill-gotten gains, because he is a true socialist. So he was slightly violent with some Jewish kids, but it was only because he was trying to make them into Trots like himself, and they resisted. So he was operating as a crypto-Zionist for 30 years, but he did it because he is a genuine Zionist for real.

This is what our politicians are sometimes forced to do, to go beyond reasonable measures in order to help others. Look at our Israeli president, who only tried to relieve some women of their lower abdominal gefiltes. So now they call him a rapist. And what about the Israeli prime minister who got some money in envelopes. All he was trying to do was to relieve the envelopes of unnecessary content so he could put in Shana Tova cards instead. So now they call him a gonef. This is very painful for me to see.

People don’t see the angel in Mony’le, Olmert and Kazav! They seem not to see the real Zadik in my little nephew, all they see is the credit card criminal, the racial hate record, and the violence against the copy machine. This pains me deeply, because I am so united against racism.

Auntie Shelomi saw an angel in her dream last night. She was sure that it was Mony’le. She described it to me and I think she was right, it must have been a vision of Mony’le shown to her by the Elohim, no less.

He is now going to the gym, as you can see.


  1. I think it’s very nice this gym they built at the Brighton Unemployment Centre. I suspect Mony’le is pumping iron these days so that he can impress that shiksa goddess he’s been stalking. But either way, at least he’ll be fit enough to do some honest labour again soon, or he may even qualify for one of those marvellous Pink shows they’re putting on in Tel Aviv these days.

    Comment by Auntie Shelomi — May 13, 2008 @ 4:07 am

  2. Auntie Ziona, I’ve held my tongue till now. After all, aren’t I the one who gave Money’le not only his bris, but also his Bar Mitzvah. However, I am a little concerned about how ‘camp’ he is becoming. Old Mrs Rubenstein says she saw him prancing about with a wire halo on his head in Golders Green, en route to picket the dry cleaning shop used by Atzmond.

    And now this gym…are they trying to turn the Brighton Unemployment Centre into the YMCA??? I must say, I don’t like the Christian overtones either. Mony’le is surrounded by ex-cons at the centre and all we need is for him to get ‘saved’ next, so I’d appreciate it if you and Auntie Shelomi would bring him along with you to synagogue a little more often.

    Comment by Rabbi Bernstein — May 13, 2008 @ 4:31 am

  3. Wow wow wow Mony is actually pretty hot. Anyone got his phone number? I’d like him to come over & help me roll my blintz

    Comment by Auntie Yona — May 13, 2008 @ 7:49 am

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