Kosher Harakiri

Oi, I can’t wait! I have tickets for the new Holocaust musical in the Vest End! It is set in the Warsaw Ghetto, but the characters put on a play within a play about Masada, the fortress where 960 Jews did a kosher Harakiri just to put off the Romans. So I get two tragedies for the price of one! This is very helpful during a credit crunch.

Oi, and there is one song that goes:

“The weather’s a stinker
We’re bound for Treblinka
But in only a blink of an eye
We’ll be flying in the sky
You and me-e-e-e!
Our spirits soa-oaring
Forever free!”

I know I will come out with the CD, the T shirt and the Holocaust education pack they give you. But I am worried because the Times said one poor person in the audience went to see it and couldn’t stop vomiting for three hours. But it was probably the gefilthe fish he had that was too old. Plus if you go on public transport, the goyim carry so many germs! Certainly it can’t be the scene where they crucify a Christian slave on stage while singing kletzmar songs that made him sick!?

United Against Music

Jew-U-Wish Upon A Star?

Oi! These Germans are meshugas! Look at this cartoon. It proves it. They are mad. First it shows a 1 little tiny little poor Jew pillaging the land. Then it shows little Yiddish fairies penetrating books, theatres, factories, banks, buildings of commerce. Are these Germans on drugs? Do they think all Jewish men are poofty fairies?

That reminds me I must chase up my retribution claim forms….

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a406qxVPbsw

Oi vey! We are having a party!

I didn’t say anything to anybody because I don’t want any fuss, presents, flowers, cakes or cards – but yes I admit it, I admit it, it is my wedding anniversary coming on August 10th (23 Golders Green Crescent, London, NW11. The front door bell is broken – I keep telling him to fix it – but deliveries, can be left in the double-fronted garage).

I said to Mony’le, I said ‘Mony, my little Kneidlach, what music shall we have for the party? Should it be kletzma? Should it be sad violins’? He said ‘Auntie Ziona, I know the perfect song for us all to dance to! And there is a video film to go with it which we can project on the wall’ (us Jews we love projecting!)

Oi here it is, the most beautiful, funny song ever. I cant wait! We can hold hands & dance!

Jackie Mason Talks the Peace

Oi would you check out this clip?! The way Jackie Mason spits whenever he says the word ‘Arab’ is beautiful! Such grace, such eloquence, such poignancy. The man is so Jewish he manages to speak in a Noo Joy-zee accent even though he is from Wisconsin. That takes some doing! It is like sounding like a Glaswegian if you were born in the Golan Heights. Such talent. I wonder did he study acting with Lee Strasboyg?

Now it seems that Mr Mason (who I admit I have a slight crush on) is not just a comedian. He is a historian too. But he has a few little glitches to iron out. He tells us ‘Not only do the Arabs (spit) not belong there (spit) but they were never there in the first place. (dribble) They never existed as a people or as an entity.’

Oi this is wonderful news. But then he tells us that the Palestinians were originally persecuted by Syria & Jordan & that’s how they came to live on our land. He says ‘Many of them were annihilated, so how come they don’t ask for anything in return?’

Good question. When someone murders my family I want to be offered a cash alternative.

I tell you, the whole thing stinks like a gefilte fish that’s been left in the fridge for 3 days because you had to rush out to recue T’ziga’le from the Police station again and you forgot to clean it out.

United Against Racism!

tRance Pleads with the Left for a Political Response

Oy Vey. Our man at Wikipedia, dear tRance’le, is falling apart and really starting to grasp at straws now.

My darling nephew, Mony Gripstein, just drew my attention to an appeal posted at his blog from tRance’le, where he gives credit to that horrible Gilad Atzmond for the beautiful video clips about tRancie, which my neighbour Tziga’le has spent months creating. Of course Tziga’le is very upset about tRancie’s ingratitide.

But not only that, tRancie is even appealing to all the schmucks on the Palestine Solidarity Movement to make some sort of a “political response” against Atzmond, who he believes is the creative genius behind these visual gems about our tRancie!! And he is besides himself with angst that they are all laughing at him, instead of responding to his appeal.

Seemingly, our favorite Sayan 007.01 Roland tRance is feeling the heat from every possible direction. Rumour has it that at a meeting of the Scottish PSC on Monday night, they reached a unanimous agreement that the SPSC will not endorse tRancie’s “abusive language” being posted on their discussion board. According to Mony’le, this cold-hearted decision was apparently made in response to our tRancie’s heartfelt e-mail to the Scottish PSC.

Nu Shoin, no one should be taken by surprise. The Scots do not love us at all.

Old Mrs Goldstein has promised to accompany tRancie to Doctor Schweinemann’s practise later today to see if his prescription can be changed a little bit, to help him get a grip.

If there is anyone out there who can help our tRancie deal with becoming famous and beloved to our Zionist brethren everywhere, please leave a comment or get in touch with us privately.

Oi ever, here is the comment from tRance’le on Mony’s site, with comments by me in Zionist Blue….

RRance said…
My dear comrades at azvsas, something terrible is happening to me…

I am SO upset. After opening my heart and posting on the Scottish PSC message board all my fears and angst about the YouTube videos making such a terrible exposure of my work at Wikipedia, they are ignoring me, and worse still, laughing at me. I appealed for their support, solidarity and a united political response from the Left….and instead I have become the joke of the Palestine Solidarity Movement.

The antisemitic piece of filth Gilad Atzmon has now gone beyond all reasonable bounds. He has posted scores of abusive videos about me on YouTube and elsewhere

Auntie Ziona says: It really hurts me and our Tziga’le to see that Azmond is being given credit for Tzigale’s cinematic talent.

, denouncing me as a Zionist and an agent of the Israeli Mossad.

Auntie Ziona says: Oi, tRancie, you are so confused, my little liebe…what is so wrong about being a Mossad agent?! Since you are operating as a Sayan, you should be proud about it… To us all, you are a real hero!

Some of them have even been posted under my own name.

Auntie Ziona says: This is not nice, but I am sure that this can be amended. Tziga’le was probably sure that as a Zionist Wikiman who operates under very many names and vandalises so many entries simultaneously, you would not have found the time to take care of YouTube posting, and he did not want you to feel left out when it came to the credits.

The videos are now being linked to and copied by hate sites across the world — for instance, by David Duke.

Auntie Ziona says: oi, this is indeed oi rible, do you mean David Duke, the right-wing Nazi devil, a real enemy of Zion? No wonder you are so upset, darlink tRancie. Oi vey, we have to do something about this!

Atzmon has also posted videos abusing other anti-Zionist Jews, including Tony Greenstein,

Auntie Ziona says: Surely you mean Mony Gripstein? I wonder why do they call him Tony, rather than Mony’le.

…Charlie Pottins and Mark Elf.

Auntie Ziona says: Oi, tRancie, it isn’t the stinky Atzmond, it is the beautiful Tziga’le, and as far as Ziona and the Ladies of Wizo were aware, we were actually praising all the work you had done for the Jewish Nation and Abe’le Foxman. And we always remember that you and Charlie and Elfie are all united against racism, which is so important for us.

This really leads one to question whose interest he is serving.

Auntie Ziona says: As far as Tziga’le is concerned, we know exactly who is it that he is serving, and so do you, my little liebe, since you are both serving the same master. For which we salute you.

But I don’t know how best to respond to this. I have contacted You Tube, whose response has been to “restrict” some of the videos — ie, to prevent anyone in Britain from viewing them.

Auntie Ziona says: Oi vey, this is no good at all because our tRancie believes in World Revoultion and he knows at least another two Jewish workers (also babysitters) over the sea.

But this is clearly not enough — the videos are libellous and maliciously false,

Auntie Ziona says: tRancie, do not go there my schatzie, why do you try to tell everybody that you don’t work for us?

…they damage my reputation wherever they are seen, and they could easily lead to physical threats against me.

Auntie Ziona says: From who, dear tRancie? Certainly not from the Mossad, who have nothing but praise for you. Your reputation as a Zionist Wikiman was already wonderful before Tziga’le took you under his wing… but now it is truly formidible. You should be happy for this.

And I spoke last night with Liz Davies, whose advice was basically that a libel action, even if successful, could cost thousands of pounds and ruin my life for several years.

In any case, a political response is needed here. Particularly since Atzmon is still taken seriously by parts of the left and the solidarity movement. Ths SWP maintains links with him (although for the first time in several years, he is not scheduled to take part in Marxism this year), and he spoke at a meeting of Exeter PSC last week. …So I am asking comrades for any advice about stemming and defeating this wave of vile personal, political and racist abuse which I am facing, I hope to start a discussion about how we oppose this tendency (of which Atzmon is the most egregious example, though unfortunately he is not alone), and I am appealing for your support and solidarity in confronting this harassment, which is clearly intended to destroy my political credibility……..

Auntie Ziona says: But tRancie, I think you are pulling our legs a little bit here, and I understand you do not want the Goyim to find out about your Wiki work for the Chosen People… but how can you give that Atzmond all the credit for building up your beautiful reputation with creative gems like these clips Tziga’le has spent so much time making? Tziga’le is sitting in tears here at my kitchen table, and asking me to beg you for the evidence that the creative genius behind the clips is that vile Atzmond. Can you please give explain to him why you are suspecting Atzmond, who as far as we know, is too busy making music and writing articles to help the Palestinians, and in any case does not have what it takes to produce cinematic work of such subtlety and grandeur.

Roland
Takhia Filastin!

Post script by Auntie Ziona: tRancie, the solution is for you to come with me and Mony to synagogue this Friday night. Come back to the stable, my sweet boy. Mrs. Goldstein’s daughter, Rachel, has offered to give you a lift so you do not have to walk there yourself in your present condition. United we will overcome.

United Against Racism!

tRance-Atlantic Appeal to YouTube

Hoy, I am slightly puzzled with 007.01. Why is he panicking about being exposed as a Sayan? Why is he so worried about his reputation? How is it that 007.01 is besides himself with angst?.

As far as I can see, Roland tRance has been a smear campaigner for decades. For this he earned our undying gratitude and pride. But like all my Zionist friends, I am bewildered. How is it that a man who has always taken such pride in smearing and slandering others has suddenly become so sensitive to exposure? He should understand that his role at Wikipedia has been invaluable to us, and wear the badge of Sayanim proudly!.

Tziga’le has been spending some quality time with Roland this weekend, trying to keep him calm, making sure he takes his medication. Tziga’le also recorded just a few of the panicky calls made by Roland to various YouTube call centres around the world. It’s rather disgusting that YouTube is ignoring him like this, I am sure you will agree, dear readers.

However, we will look after him during this new campaign, and make sure he receives the necessary sustenance while he continues to lobby them. As my bubbe used to say, Worries go better with soup than without.

United Against Racism!

tRance bombards the YouTube call centre in Louisiana

Hoy, my Tziga’leme Jewish Felini is such a clever boy. May I say it, I really love my Neighbour. I don’t really know how he did it, but he managed to get hold of a telephone conversation between Red Sayam 007.01, also known as Roland tRance, and a receptionist Shikze at a call centre in Louisiana.

All along I have been sure that it was the anti-Semites who were removing Sayan 007.01′s clips from YouTube. Now I realize that it was Sayan 007.01 himself.

Our man at Wikipdia realised that as an exposed agent, he may lose his day job at the Israeli Embassy.

Hoy tRance’le, don’t you worry. Isroel and Ziona are right behind you. Keep up the pressure on the anti-Semites.

United Against Racism!

Our Man Rance at Wikipedia

Oy vey, it seems to be not a good year for our Sayanim. First it was Mony who was exposed closing down Palestinian sites, and now our king Sayan, Roland Rance, has been exposed as a Zionist Wikiman. As proud as we are of his masterful editing on Wikipedia of biographies of troublesome people, we really did not want the goyim public to become aware of his activities.

As funny as it may be, Tziga’le was commissioned by the Israeli embassy here in London to make a short film about Rance’s activities. It was supposed to be shown on Rosh Ashana at a private party in the Odeon, in Golders Green, to celebrate 40 years of Jewish Marxist Sayanim. Nu shoin, there may be no good reason to celebrate anymore, but at least I can show it to my audience….

Ladies and Gentelmen, Zios and Zionas, here he is, our Wiki Man, Mr Roland Rance. We are hoping that this clip and its catchy tune will at least make it to the Top of the Pops.

22 May 2008 – Shocking update! The targeting of our man Rance at Wikipedia by extremely anti-semitic elements within YouTube (which we wrongly assumed the chosen people had long ago taken control over) is being fought tooth and nail by our Sayanim world-wide. The effect of this campaign to prevent Roland from achieving the fame he deserves is actually uniting Jews across the spectrum – kosher Jews, Israeli Jews, diaspora Jews, orthodox Jews, atheist Jews, Socialist Jews, ordinary Jews, Jews with Special Needs, Jews of all colours and sexual persuasions. We will never be divided again!

The Ladies of Wizo have managed to locate 41 different free video clip hosting services on the internet, have opened accounts at all of them, and have uploaded all of Trancie’s clips at each one! Roland is going to become more and more famous with each new attempt to silence him on YouTube by the neo-nazis! Holocaust-deniers be damned, United we will Overcome.

Nu shoin, a new Shoah!

Hoi Givalt, 100 British Jews revealed yesterday, black on white in the Guardian letter section: “We’re not celebrating Israel’s anniversary”.

What are we going to do? This is a new Shoa embarking on our innocent people!

According to the Zionist-run Wikipedia, the number of Jews living in Britain is somewhere between 250.000 and 350.000. So I made a quick calculation, recruiting my entire stock of frozen maza balls, and found out that now we are left with only 249.900-349.900 who celebrate this most precious Jewish birthday. Only 349.900 are going to dance in the streets of Golders Green, instead of 350.000.

But then I asked myself, what do they mean by ‘not celibrating’?. I can understand that some Jews do not care that much about their brothers. They may not even know about the Israeli celebration. But ‘not celebrating’ must be a different kind of disengagement.

What is their plan? Are they going come to our birthday Simcha, but then sit in a dark room listening to Wagner or Azmond, while crying their head off as if it’s Yom Kippur? What do these Jews do for a celebratory day out? Take gefilthe fish to the Brabican & sit looking at Nakba photos demonising the Chosen people all afternoon?

You should all know Auntie Ziona by now, I am not looking for conflicts. I never try to put other Jews down, I always look for the bond that make us all into one people who do nothing but try to save the world. I always look for the bright side of (Jewish) life. So I went and read again the first paragraph of these Jewish Anti-Party anarchists:

“In May, Jewish organisations will be celebrating the 60th anniversary of the founding of the state of Israel. This is understandable in the context of centuries of persecution culminating in the Holocaust. Nevertheless, we are Jews who will not be celebrating. Surely it is now time to acknowledge the narrative of the other, the price paid by another people for European anti-semitism and Hitler’s genocidal policies. As Edward Said emphasised, what the Holocaust is to the Jews, the Naqba is to the Palestinians.”

I then realized the entire paragraph is beautiful and overwhelmingly Jewish, except for the first silly sentence. Apparently they all became Atzmonites without even realizing. They say, “In May, JEWISH organisations will be celebrating the 60th anniversary of the founding of the state of Israel.”

I wonder, don’t they know the Jewish Iron Rule? Never mix JEWS with Zionists! They stupidly admit that we are all Zionists, except 100 of them. Maybe even they cannot maintain the lie anymore. Foolishly, they say ‘JEWISH organisations’, but obviously they should have said ‘ZIONIST organisations’. The truth is, we are all Zionists! Not very clever of these schlemeils to admit it, though.

Nu shoin, what can we do, Anti-Zionists were not pushing enough in the queue when G_d gave us all saykhl (brains). Because they like to share everything, they were left with so little.

But, once you skip the first sentence, you are left with a wonderful glatt koisher text. They do exactly what every good Jew must do. In three lines they have managed to shove everything people should know about us: “persecution”, “Holocaust”, “the narrative of the other” (as if we love our Goyim neighbours) , “anti-semitism”, “Hitler” and “genocide”. Only a well trained Yeshiva boicher can put so much Jewish suffering in just two sentences.

However, just to mention a small anecdote…Our Jews against Simcah end their letter with a very non-Jewish optimistic utopian sentence:”We will celebrate when Arab and Jew live as equals in a peaceful Middle East.”

Take it from Auntie Ziona, you will never celebrate because we, the Jews , do not believe in equality. We believe that we are the Chosen. We believe that we have a role in this world. True, we do not always agree amongst ourselves what this role is. Our Rabbis say we must serve humanity with a moral example, our Marxists say we must bring socialism to the working class, our Wolfowitzes say we must bring Coca Cola to the Arab world.

Nu shoin, we all want to give something, because we are givers rather than takers. Take it from Aunti Ziona, once we stop being the chosen people, once we stop telling people who they are, what they should be and what they should think, once we stop giving people some good advice, we won’t be Jews anymore. We will be people like other people.

And you anti-party Jews, once you stop being chosen, the danger is that you may make friends with Goyim in general and Arabs in particular!

United against Racism

The list of 100 Anti Party Jews:

Seymour Alexander 
Ruth Appleton
Steve Arloff
Rica Bird 
Jo Bird
Cllr Jonathan Bloch
Ilse Boas
Prof. Haim Bresheeth 
Tanya Bronstein
Sheila Colman
Ruth Clark
Sylvia Cohen
Judith Cravitz
Mike Cushman
Angela Dale
Ivor Dembina
Dr. Linda Edmondson
Nancy Elan
Liz Elkind
Pia Feig
Colin Fine
Deborah Fink
Sylvia Finzi
Brian Fisher MBE 
Frank Fisher
Bella Freud
Catherine Fried
Uri Fruchtmann
Stephen Fry
David Garfinkel
Carolyn Gelenter
Claire Glasman 
Tony Greenstein
Heinz Grunewald
Michael Halpern
Abe Hayeem
Rosamine Hayeem
Anna Hellman
Amy Hordes
Joan Horrocks
Deborah Hyams
Selma James
Riva Joffe
Yael Oren Kahn
Michael Kalmanovitz
Paul Kaufman
Prof. Adah Kay
Yehudit Keshet
Prof. Eleonore Kofman
Rene Krayer
Stevie Krayer
Berry Kreel
Leah Levane
Les Levidow
Peter Levin
Louis Levy
Ros Levy
Prof. Yosefa Loshitzky
Catherine Lyons 
Deborah Maccoby
Daniel Machover
Prof. Emeritus Moshe Machover
Miriam Margolyes OBE
Mike Marqusee
Laura Miller
Simon Natas
Hilda Meers
Martine Miel
Laura Miller
Arthur Neslen 
Diana Neslen
Orna Neumann
Harold Pinter 
Roland Rance
Frances Rivkin
Sheila Robin
Dr. Brian Robinson
Neil Rogall
Prof. Steven Rose
Mike Rosen 
Prof. Jonathan Rosenhead
Leon Rosselson
Michael Sackin
Sabby Sagall
Ian Saville
Alexei Sayle
Anna Schuman
Sidney Schuman
Monika Schwartz
Amanda Sebestyen 
Sam Semoff
Linda Shampan
Sybil Shine
Prof. Frances Stewart
Inbar Tamari
Ruth Tenne
Martin Toch
Tirza Waisel
Stanley Walinets
Martin White
Ruth Williams
Naomi Wimborne-Idrissi
Devra Wiseman
Gerry Wolff
Sherry Yanowitz

Join Israel’s 60th anniversary celebration!

A Zionist Conspiracy to Wreck Wikipedia

The Auntie Simones call it “conspiracy” but we call it a proper plan!!!